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This is another post semester entry. This last semester has been so rough and yet so rewarding I cannot put into words how far I have come. Today is May 12,2016. Exactly one year ago I was lamenting about not having started T, and being at least two years from being able to afford surgery. Now here I am having been on T for nearly seven months and anticipating surgery in the next eight months. In the span of a year I have gone from being the victim of hard circumstances to being become an advocate for others around me. I am writing today to share positivity and support for everyone who privileges me with their viewership. Life gets better. Life will always get better. In the last month, I have had the full cycle of Karma decimate me in some aspects and restore, sometimes build me up in others. I got side swiped by a tractor trailer in my smart car and lived. not only did I live, but I didn't have that much damage to me or the car. In that same day and after much fighting I was told in front of a board of deans and students that we would get a gender neutral bathroom. I broke up with my long time partner, again, but I was told my chest surgery will be at the end of this year. I have stepped into the role of unofficial student liaison to the LGBT community. Last week I was awarded a full scholarship to my college and I won three awards. One of which was recognition of my work towards equality on our campus and the community at large. It was in the name of and presented to me by my IDOL! The man whom inspired me to be the BEST I can be and have no regrets.

So. Since we both have tomorrow off, and I was feeling the joy of having time to get some things done, and its' a gorgeous day outside, we decided to clear off the porch of all the winter and home improvement debris that has collected on it. It was going well when we were moving the cardboard boxes off the porch to take to the van when we found...kittens. Yup. Six tiny little kittens about twice the size of a gerbil. Have I mentioned my neighborhood has a stray cat problem? So we called around, and the humane society's foster program is full, and the rescue has a $30 fee per animal, and I frankly can't afford a $180 bill for six cats that are NOT MINE. Both my cats are male, neither had kittens, and both have been neutered and i have the vet records to prove it. They are feral strays, but young enough to be domesticated, if someone would take them. So now I feel bad because the plan is basically let the mother take them and move them to a new location, and they will grow up and have more, and our neighborhood will continue to be overrun by feral cats living short, hard lives. The average lifespan of a feral cat is 5 years, compared one in a good home at 15 to 20 years. And they are young enough that they wnated to interact with us, and could be easily domesticated. I feel like I failed them, but there really isn't anything I can do. We literally cannot feed them every two hours like they need with our job schedules, so taking them in and finding homes for them when they are weaned to normal food isn't possible either. Sometimes there is no good answer. And of course Nikki is sad that I won't let him have the one that looks like Yuriko. But we have four pets right now, and we need to keep reducing the number, not growing it both for our financial changes and consideration of people who have to care for them when we travel. I still feel bad saying no though.