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Hiya Michele. Darling Girl, I Am so Sorry for Your Loss. Of Your Dear Friend Mthetho. Michele, You are such a Lovely; Loving; Kind; Caring; Considerate; and Sweet Young Lady. To have Lost someone You are so Close to is Very Sad. Michele, there is no harm, in weeping over Someone Special. It just shows the Very Special Bond, between You. Michele, Thinking Of You, Take Care, Love Stephanie. xxxx

Hi there I know the different rapes that occurs with victims and perpetrators. I also know I made it seem as an insignificant occurrence, but if you went through previous blogs, you would see that I'm a rape survivor, and the majority of the times I face adversity head on. I can't and won't back down, for any person attacking my gender, person, or that of a loved one. I also refuse to back down while on duty, unless the odds is so stacked against me, that I'll end up endangering everyone around me. Reasons I can't back down: 1. Human right, to live and let live; 2. Freedom of speech and expression; 3. With ignorance come the ability to be taught, only once that person accepts defeat and acknowledges the multi-complex world we live in; 4. Putting myself in the firing line, means the fight for equality stops sooner then later, and as I said bring it on; 5. What can they do to me to make me suffer, been there done that wrote the book and I'm wearing the scars, and death becomes us all. It's the legacy we leave behind that makes us immortal; 6. I would rather have myself in danger, antagonizing my attacker. Then my attacker taking on someone who is unprepared and soft to the point they might not recover from the attack; 7. As you said, rape is about power, and a rapist loses his power when he can't evoke an emotional meltdown of fear. So, do I have to fear an allegation that I'm in danger, or make that person or persons feel as insignificant as a fart that ripped through the silent air as if a thunderstorm was on it's way. Facing an attacker usually has the effect where upon they turn around and run for protection from their parents. Now how can I fear that? I'll keep a watch on my surroundings, but I already do that, so my life goes on as usual, no changes, no higher alerts for safety, no crawling under a rock to hide from the big bad wolf for me. And don't let my appearance as timid draw you in to relax that I'm easy. Cheers for now. Be safe and look after yourself. Hugs and kisses Michele

I agree with Michael, threats of rape and violence are nothing to ignore. I wasn't aware that you're a police officer and I'm sure you're well trained. But they are too of course. My first instinct is to suggest that you get the heck out of there and get a new job. Of course that's easier said than done. Regardless I suggest keeping the line of communication open with your friend. Maybe through that he will also become more of an ally and will help you more, maybe even talk to the others for you. Please take care of yourself, watch your back, be prepared. It's a crappy way to have to work while you're also tasked with such responsibilities to deal with the public and criminals. Emma P.S. I wonder if your police department has you wear those body cameras to record whatever happens while you're on patrol. If not, why not get one and wear it anyway? By doing that your colleagues will know that you're recording whatever happens to you and who does what.

I don't mean to exacerbate the seriousness of this issue, but I think perhaps you should not take it so lightly. You said, "... I'm open about my gender and was expecting death threats, not rape threats. Now that is indicative to me that I'm sexy and they know and want me but are scared of what people around them might say." Rape has nothing to do with whether or not a person is sexy - rape victims come in all ages, sizes, colours, rich, poor, pretty, not so pretty, skinny, fat, and any- and everything in between. Rape is about power. It is meant to show the victim who has the power, who is in charge. It is meant to dehumanize and degrade the victim. If a male officer had it in mind to rape you, and sees you as a woman, it is to show you that you are less than he is - not that you are sexy. If he sees you as gay, or as a "man who wants to be a woman," it would more than likely be to show you "what it's like to be a woman" in his sick, and male-entitled mind. I would be just as wary of those who spout "sexual threats" as those who might spout threats of other physical harm. -Michael