I had my grandfather, and he's the reason I'm a good person. Grandpa taught me all the things I should know. He died too young, only 65, there should have been more time and memories, but take what we can get right? I'm okay without my father, it's just...that lingering desire to have a family and roots that go back, not just forward. I'm only 44, in my head it's not time yet to be the oldest person at the family gatherings when there are still people alive, but it is what it is. Thank you for all the love, I'm adjusting slowly, and Nikki is keeping a ridiculously close eye on me and the boy. The boy isn't too affected, my dad has literally only been in the same room with him for slightly less than 30 days out of his entire lifetime, and has never chosen to speak with him on the phone or e-mail. So to my son he's just a weird bitter old white man who happens to be his mom's genetic father. I'm grateful it doesn't affect him more. We had a long talk about it, but he was happy that mom went from arguing a point to burning the bridges and salting the field nuclear about it. Thou shalt not mess with my kid. And, it's kinda ironically funny. The thing that started it all was a picture I posted an a discussion between me, my son, and a few freinds that we need to do better as a society to make sure everyone has the basics of life. I'm talking food, shelter, clothes, and medical care. Not tvs, flashy cars, just the basics. And this dude who tires to shovel christianity and genetic blood ties are everything down my throat for years decided that is the hill to die on and start calling my son a loser who wants society to provide for him so he can continue to blame his failures on everyone but himself. Because we were discussing making the world better. Way to practice the charity of your religion there. I have to laugh about all of this. We tried to engage him on the discussion, but he wouldn't back up any opinions with information or facts about why he feels that way, just kept talking in memes then decided to attack my kid. Today I feel...lighter. Realizing I don't ever have to deal with him again is freeing. And a huge, stunning relief. I'll be okay, and I didn't realize how much the whole thing was dragging me down until I cut that tie. It's just sad that that is what reality is, but sadness fades and there are camping trips with Nikki in planning and cruises with his parents and weekly games and hangouts with my kid and a pool to swim in and a house that is in the middle of a massive reorganization (I decided to go through everything and sort it all out and get rid of things we don't need to avoid turning into a hoarder like my mom and paternal grandma, it's in my GENES!) to finish, life is busy for everyone. And only six more days of work and then I"ll have all the time in my life to do whatever makes Nikki and I happy! WOOT!