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It was a good night. My train arrived late into London and I had to double-time the walk to meet with the psychologist, but it all went well enough. I was hot and sweaty and feeling dishevelled by the time I arrived but, to be honest, I didn't look as bad as she did. It was evident that her office had no air con and she had had precious little fresh air all day. She looked more tired and dishevelled than me. The interview went well. We covered old ground but that didn't rattle me at all. I simply answered the questions honestly and straightforwardly. I've been asked the same questions so many times now, and while they would have annoyed me six months ago, they didn't yesterday. It's as if these people don't read each other's reports - or maybe they're trying to find a different answer. Anyway, a little over one hour after meeting her, I was checking into my hotel. I found the gym and used it then took a shower and ordered room service. Great food, I have to say. I spent the rest of the evening reading and listening to music until my eyes started to close. This morning, after another trip to the gym, I showered and checked out before finding a great coffee shop along the street from my hotel, which is where I am now. My train departs in around 50 minutes so I'm just passing the time and reflecting on yesterday's interview. She told me to schedule a follow up appointment with the psychiatrist next month and then another one with her in January when she will recommend top surgery. She's already emailed the psychiatrist to agree with his assessment that I need a better T prescription than the one I currently have. All in all it's been a worthwhile trip to London. Again. Peace and love, everyone.

Since we have decided sharing closets works for us, I have made my self at home in his comfy black knit cargo shorts. I LOVE these shorts. Next spring I am planning to buy several more, as these are fantastic shorts that don't ride up indelicately on me like my shorts. I like the longer length and bigger pockets than on the female version I have. Nikki complains a lot that I absconded with his shorts. But they are COMFY. Oh my god comfy. And he absconded with my sparkly butterfly shirt, so it's all even. And when I took them off because I thought he was serious, he got all upset because apparently it's just fun to tease me about absconding and he thinks I"m cute in them and if I'm not actually wearing them, the game is over. LOL And I got to wear his Daryl Dixon shirt as penance for him teasing me. *bliss* Seriously though I really need to buy more of these, but it seems wasteful to buy a bunch of shorts when it's getting cold outside. But a nice gray pair would be lovely. Anything that isn't white, white clothes and clumsy Bree never work out well. At all. The only thing we ever actually fight over is socks, because you know, the dryer somehow eats them and there aren't ever enough around no matter how many we buy. Speaking of socks, I need to hit up the sports store. They had these amazing "Cabin socks" that are cushy, warm, and amazing. Ours are getting old, and I think a few new pairs are just what an Ohio winter is screaming for. Neither of us are slipper fans.

Hi Briannah, It is a pleasure to meet you as well! I'm really happy to hear that this site has been so helpful to you, both with your relationship with Nikki and in other areas. I agree that it is important for partners to find support, and that is often difficult to find. I'm so glad you were able to find it here! This site has also been very helpful to me as I was working through things. We are fortunate that so many wonderful people visit here! I, too, wish everyone would learn that lesson about kindness and connection. The world would certainly be a better place. It's so heartening to hear that you and Nikki are growing closer, and that you are choosing to do so. Not everyone in the same situation would make the same choice. I always enjoy hearing about couples who decide they can still make their relationship work after one of the partners comes out as non-cis. Since so many marriages do not survive that type of revelation, it always warms my heart to see examples where the relationship endures, and even grows! I am sending both of you my best wishes! And beef is OK, but I *love* seafood! But not to worry, unless my financial situation changes significantly, I doubt I will ever be on a cruise, so I will never have to worry about being tempted by the lure of cheese mousse!

PS> If you go on a Princess Cruise ever...I hope you like beef and seafood, that seemed to be their goto meals, but do... not... ever... EVER... decide to be adventurous and try to the cheese mousse.

Hi there! It's nice to meet you, and not knowing someone but stopping to chat is how we get to know people, yes? I'm a cisgender partner of a MtF genderfluid still figuring it out. I use the male gender when I talk about him because that is what Nikki told me he feels is appropriate to us, I just wanted to get that out there because I do understand how important pronouns are and I don't want to come across to someone new like I live in a denial world or am rude to my husband! This place has been so helpful and important to me, I had stumbled through a few forums trying to learn about my new normal after the long secret finally came out, and so many of them it kinda felt like wanted to convince me I didn't matter at all in sorting out this new normal. Only here were people willing to help me learn and also care about my feelings and struggles in the process. People were willing to tell me what I was confused and/or unrealistic about, but they also were willing to tell me what Nikki was also, and that some of the things going on weren't okay. And it was always gentle! I loved that, that we were both treated like people. And Nikki has come to the decision inside himself that transition isn't for him, and that he only had told me that was his decision because he had been presented with the ideology that it was the only solution. But finding others here who live the way he has realized he wants to has been tremendous for him. I like that this board is inclusive of the middle pathers, the fluid, the binary, and the transitioners alike, as well as us partners. And I think it's so important to marriages that partners do have a welcoming place to learn how their life will change and get support. This place was a major factor in my road to morph it from a huge, terrifying thing to my new normal. And, weirdly, this place has hugely helped with my body dismorphic disorder (mostly centered around my face, it's crooked, one entire side droops, was born that way not a stroke aftereffect and my brain can't...deal rationally with it) and my emotional damage from growing up under my father. Which sorta proves the people are people, and human experiences are best shared! Definitely way more alike than unlike, and kindness and connection is definitely the key for everyone to learn to live together on this planet. I wish everyone would learn. We're slowly getting closer than ever I think, because we're working for it, and choosing it. Some things you have to earn, right? It also doesn't hurt that we have flaming examples of terrible relationships around us to remind us of things. The kind where neither partner shows any consideration for the other, and the growing rifts between them was a wakeup call that it's easy to do that, and it's not easy to be proactive about it, but I want Nikki around. Even if his hair and face are way better than mine! LOL

Hi Briannah, I don't really know you (I have been away from the site for a while), but I just wanted to say... this post is beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing with us. I wish all the best to you and Nikki as you repair/rebuild your marriage. (Well, OK, the cheese mousse thing... maybe not so beautiful. But definitely everything else! )

Wow... lately people approaching me from behind, have been calling me "Ma'am".... often... like 3 times last week alone, since my hair is a lot longer, and legs are always shaved. I wear shorter shorts than most men, *and many women... lol .. Mid-thigh shorts or higher, I prefer higher, the shorter the better for me... I am liking it a lot.. but makes for some "awkward" moments... I like it though... says I'm doing something right... I don't go out "en femme" really, anymore.. just more feminine. Tonight though, I think I will push it more with short jean skirt, pantyhose, lipstick, heels, and painted toes.. It is a meeting that I go to, that is T-girl or crossdresser friendly, an LGBT group, sort of... I like to dress like that, and it is one of the few opportunities I have available, without shocking all of my family and friends... Great Item - see response below - Dawn