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Hi Chrissy, what a wonderful post! I will return to it as there is so much wisdom there. I really feel similar about taking one's time, taking baby steps. I've not transitioned as yet but I see it on the hazy horizon. Some weeks ago I'd made plans to accelerate, to work on so many things at once, so I would present publicly by the end of August. A couple of weeks ago while driving back toward Seattle I found my anxiety increasing, almost to a panic. And then I had an epiphany: it's okay to downshift and go slow and as you said, it's probably for the best at least for you and me. So that's what I'm doing and am enjoying myself a lot more. It feels right, like today I am wearing skinny jeans, a shirt that is pretty androgynous (but is male), and athletic women's pumps. Because of the skinny jeans I can't put my wallet and keys into the pants pockets so I'm bringing a bag that here again can go either way: it's a canvas messenger bag. I'm still a little nervous but it's more like excitement, as I will be meeting with my real estate agent, and later, attending a large party for the Obliteride bicycle ride that I'll be riding on Sunday. Please keep sharing your experiences and advice. You have so much to offer. Best wishes, Emma

when i went shopping a while back with my androgynous ex-girlfriend/fashion consultant, she chose very slim/tight fitting buffalo jeans with spandex for me after i tried on several different ones. the pockets have just enough room for keys and wallet but the keys are a little uncomfortable. the jeans seem very androgynous in style to me, but most people think in binary gender terms and allow little leeway in male clothes so anything not definitely masculine seems feminine to them.

Emma, It's funny you mentioned that about the jeans - recently I was having lunch with a male friend who said that a girl he dated pointed out that he had women's jeans on. He seemed ok with that idea, but wasn't positive - the first question I asked about them (he wasn't wearing them at that moment) was "do they have essentially useless pockets?" (they did, so yes, they were women's jeans). I learned that it's both that the pockets are smaller, and the jeans are partly made of spandex, so they pull in (which means if your keys will fit, they'll hurt because they're being pulled into your leg). Something else re timing that I didn't think about before - I was kind of ready to start transitioning around April or May of that year (2015), but I was working at a school and I did a lot of exam proctoring. Since exams were about to happen, I didn't want the first time students (at least the ones who knew me) seeing me as a woman to be when they're about to take a final exam, so I waited until the semester and exams were done. The nice part was that meant that the students were gone, faculty was gone, and staff were on and off vacation - so I had a couple of months to get used to presenting as a woman at a pretty empty school. So by late August when classes started again I was much more comfortable. xoxo Chrissy

Hi Bree, it's great to hear from you but I'm sorry that you're feeling poorly and also, confronting such insurance isssues. I'm fine but will soon also be talking to insurance folks and I am very apprehensive. I'm seeing other specialists now (about trans transition stuff) and am asking them to avoid documenting my preexisting condition. I know you know what I mean. I really hope your pillow and diet control helps you past this. That has to be so worrisome. Just please be careful that you don't wait so long that the issue gets to be so big that, well, it gets too big. The most important thing is your health. XOXO Emma

Dear Christie, In my opinion, it is not what a person says, but HOW they say it. The transgender community is so diverse and changing so fast, that it can be overwhelming to learn about or question it. My suggestion is for people to study from REPUTABLE sources on the Internet and elsewhere, and start with where they resonate the most. Have a Happy Holiday! Yours truly, Monica