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Hey, Dad...I am very glad to see you return. I was just about to give up on ya when I signed in this evening and discovered all the activity on your blog entry. I can only imagine how difficult this might be for you. Keep in mind it may also be just as difficult for your child - it may not have occurred to you, but your pain is no doubt affecting [her] and making things difficult for [her] too, and may even be blaming [her]self. Bad part about that is, [she's] done nothing wrong to take the blame for. No one has - meaning, not even you and your wife as parents. Has nothing to do with your parenting. We are, what we are. NOTE: In case you are wondering -- I've chosen to not refer to your child as male (out of respect for you for now), but if your child IS trans, I don't want to blantantly refer to [her] as if [she] were a cisgender female, and is why I have been putting terms like "she" and "her" in brackets []. I use the bracketed terms as, "for lack of a better term." "While I understand that you believe you are transgender..." Just as you know in your heart, your very soul, what you are, so do trans people. While we know no other existence, the discord is stressful and affects nearly every aspect of our lives. "...has this decision to live this way really made your lives better?" There are many trans people who have successfully transitioned and live a happy life. But whether one transitions or not, s/he is still transgender. True enough that not all people are happy after they transition - the reasons are varied, and not always transition related. But it seems across the board, that no one is happy untransitioned. It's difficult to go thru life having to put on an act. Pretending to be something/someone you are not and to constantly have to tolerate being treated as something/someone you are not. "If I am coming across as callous or unfeeling I don't mean to. I am asking serious questions." Part of the reason for the existence of this board is not only to have a place to support each other, but to support people like you, too. We realize that this is difficult. Callous and unfeeling comes into play when a person flatly refuses to even try to understand, or to accept - whether they understand or not. 'Cause, let's be honest, unless you yourself harbour some issue with gender, a cisgender person can NEVER fully understand what it's like to be trans - just like we can never know what it's really like to be cisgender. But you can learn to accept. You can realize that male or female, this is your child... and learning that your child is not the gender you expected does not make that child suddenly a different person. Believe me, we can tell the difference in intentional callousness borne of bigotry or hate, and the mis-steps and grappling of someone looking for help and answers, someone who wants to learn. As for binding...I recommend extreme caution in using anything adhesive-backed. Also, avoid Ace bandage at all costs - it can cause irreversible damage and injury not only externally, but also internally. If you are going to allow your child to start binding now, and especially in light of the fact that you have indicated that [she] is exhibiting distress in development, I highly suggest you look into a proper binder. I personally use this one, but there are several models and it may take trying a couple before your child finds one that is suitable and performs satisfactorily. -Mike

Being a kid is hard. Some kids can be mean and as you a parent must understand a child being transgender or not will have bad days and good days. The school must have rules implemented for no bullying. Bullying is have gone out of control. Please make sure all of your kids are open about how their day was and share things with you. If one child is being bullied will be hard to know if no one speak up and say something. You can talk to the school administrators now before school starts about your child. Always ask what rules and policy they have to address issues. When I was growing up schools really didn’t address or handle the issues that occur properly. You must know school for you is different now cause the kids say and do and posting it on social media. You are a wonderful parent and getting the help for your child now and being part of his (her) life. It can be hard not know what the future hold for him (her) when it comes to friendship. Those who stick around to be his (her) friend and being supporting show they have a good heart. I hope other parents of the kids are understanding and respectful toward your family. Remember you talking about things is good.

Wow. I am shocked and somewhat amazed by all of the positive comments and advice I am receiving here. I guess I expected to receive comments attacking my feelings and views and being told off honestly. I really am trying to help my child to grow up into a happy healthy individual. I am just having a very hard time believing that living as a different gender is going to be a positive experience. Where is my child going to find love? My child just turned 11. Over the next few years as kids start going to dances... who is she going to be with? Girls in my area (northern NJ) tend to be girly. Nails done by a manicurist, hair done, makeup, dresses etc. Boys tend to be boys. Where is my child going to fit in? Right now a number of kids are accepting of her, playing with her etc but this is pre puberty stuff. I fear that the day is coming when girls peel off into girl group stuff and boys do the same and my child is going to be alone. I may not have stated this previously but she does go to therapy with a therapist that has a practice with transgender kids. My child is going into middle school in September. She will be the only kid in the school (6th to 8th grade) that is known at this time to believe they are transgender. I feel this situation will be horrible. Most if not all of you here transitioned as an adult. You may have wished that you could've done this much earlier but I don't know if you realize what that really would've meant. You may have been living as a gender that you didn't believe conformed with what you were feeling but you were living having friends, dating and in many cases here.... even got married and had children. Maybe you don't realize that even cis kids have issues fitting in, worrying what group they will be accepted in, dating, etc. Most of us as kids had issues figuring out where we fit in, but in most cases we did fit in somewhere with some group. My daughter choosing to go down this path will be in a group of 1------ her. She is not a very social kid to begin with. I so want to be proven wrong about these things and my views of her future, but I really fear that I will be proven right.

JeffDad and All, I am a happy person most of the time and I have not transitioned. I am recognized as female often without trying to go out of my way to dress and look female. Still I do fully understand Usernameoptional and for many/ maybe most the transition will help. See https://www.thesun.co.uk/archives/reallife/888347/two-years-ago-arin-was-a-girl-called-emerald-and-girlfriend-katie-was-a-boy-named-luke/ Arin Andrews is the example I most often think of as a good example with the most positive results when I think of female to male changes. But of course life is not simply made of gender. So many aspects. Really love is the main thing - go's so far beyond the sex we are or have been born with. One of my cousins took the courage to transition to being a male. He seems very happy now and we are becoming friends again now that I have learned of his change (Friends first). Yes, I was surprised and at first did not know how to take it/respond. This does make it easier to let him know I too am transgendered; just in the opposite direction. let me know if I can clarify anything - I definitely do not think changing sex will solve everything and in fact it could make things worse, as other underlining issues may be part of what is occurring. In my life role I have been a scientist/analyst. Dawn