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Welcome! Best wishes to you for 2019 too!

Jess, I am so sorry for your loss. It is such a big hole in your heart. All I can say is that time does help. I'm glad you have so many good memories. Like you, when my wife died, it did free me to go more to my feminine side. Still mostly in the closet myself, but that may change slowly but surely.

Happy New Year! What makes it new? To me I recently spent some time reflecting on what has happened in 2018 and a lot of major things in my life have! Several "life changing events", some foreseen and some unforeseen. I believe I made it through them better than I was, at least slightly, so that makes me happy for 2018. My wife recently passed away from cancer, and have been crying more than I have my entire life....but focusing on the many, many, many good memories and times we had quickly brings me out of the sadness of life. She always had my back and I hers and will now need to watch my own back more. Next for me is re-evaluating and planning for 2019. I questioned very seriously whether or not I would move with transitioning and the good news is I didn't purge anything this year and in fact have added many really nice things to my wardrobe recently, which I just love.💜 I pondered whether I could just remain in the closet and live in public as male. I really don't like that idea but it's not off the table yet. 2019 will resolve that issue for me. Some definite tasks for me to take on....First Event is a go👉. Therapist is a go👉. Facial Electrolysis is a go👉, FFS is highly probable👀. HRT is very likely, and hope to start within the month of February, if not sooner. Financially, I just wish to spend a little less than I'm taking in and that's gonna take up a lot of my time and planning to accomplish, All, in all, I am looking forward to the NEW YEAR. Jessica