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Dear Emma, Your ex is grieving the loss of the man she married and the good marriage she had. She is fighting the feelings of loss and grieving that you have moved on. As much as we hope for a win - win scenario upon a breakup, the reality is that one person often finds a better life, and the other finds a less fulfilling life. Another thing your ex may be struggling with is that she is aging more quickly than you, and her health problems are emphasizing this. Rarely do both partners age at the same rate. An example is Barbara and George Bush. Apparently you have gotten counseling, and she has not. Would suggest she get counseling, work on getting her own circle of friends and make a plan to make the most of the rest of her life. Am very sorry to hear of both of your pain. Yours truly, Monica

It's a good roadmap to start formulating my plan! Thank you so much Monica, I'm really thrown by all this.