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haha - nope - thank you ladies but that is not a conversation I am ready for. I have known her for years but we have not been close friends, just. While what I know about her tells me she would be accepting, I do not know if she could keep that information to herself yet. I have a niece, a sister and 2 friends (a cishet couple) who will all be about for the weekend, which is so far consisting of an evening and two full days of being Dee out and about. If I keep my nerve and if it feels right while I am out I will relax and just be me. If I don't or I bottle it part way through I have learnt a lesson about who I am. It's like a real life therapy session

Emma, it is very likely she is just reaching out to be friends now that our other friends are all couples, no sense putting all of my personal issues out there for someone who may not be looking for it, I have just been rejected and do not need more of that in my life right now until I am more confident in myself.

Yeah, I wondered if she was connected to other people in your life. I understand all too well that you can't share anything about your being trans with her at least for now. That kind of blowback was something I stressed over so much. Even in high school I had a great girlfriend. I kind of broached the subject about wearing girl's clothing; she was up for trying it out but I was just too shy and ashamed about the whole thing, and also terrified that my doing this would get out. So, asking her is all about when you're ready (or already have) come out. Good for you to wait.

"How would she feel if she knew that I was planning on going out and spending almost a full weekend as Dee at the end of this month, just to see how I feel about it? Which at the moment is equal parts wanting to squeal with excitement and terror! " Kind of ties in with the recent topic, "What advice would you give to your younger self?" …….ASK HER!!!! You may (probably) find out you have a real good (genuine) friendship or more ahead of you. If not it wasn't meant to be. On the other hand, she could become one of your best advocates. I think my first "full weekend" cemented things for me; it turned into a full 10 days. And, then spending Jess time with other human beings really opened my eyes quickly! Have a good time.😜🙋‍♀️

Dee, I'm so sorry for your loss especially at this time in your life. I'm not at all surprised that you handled all the mix-ups and confusion with grace. About beer vs. white wine: One thing to remember please is that it's perfectly okay to enjoy whatever you do regardless of your gender and presentation. Maybe you like to work on cars or have a hobby that men more typically enjoy. The key words are "more typically" because we all know of cis women who enjoy whatever you might think of. It's not as if we suddenly have to be delighted by quilting or sewing. Sure, having a beer was good for a lighthearted joke but I wish you won't add the stress of deciding what you "should and shouldn't" do (and want to do). "How would she feel if she knew that I was planning on going out and spending almost a full weekend as Dee at the end of this month, just to see how I feel about it? Which at the moment is equal parts wanting to squeal with excitement and terror!" Consider telling her and finding out! Regardless, I can't wait to read a full report of your weekend. Yes it's both exciting and terrifying. Remember, fear is kind of like a wall, and on the other side of the wall is a kind of freedom. Emma