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Like most everyone here, I didn’t “become” a woman. I just quit pretending to be a man. Mike didn’t “become” a man. He quit pretending to be a woman. I’m just scared that some of the things that are happening to us are on my head simply because I’m a transgender woman. I feel like those things are ruining Adrianne’s life because she’s with me. While I have to carry a diamond shield and armor, she doesn’t have any reason to need the same. If she was with a real man, her life would be immensely better. At least that’s what I think. She tells me I’m crazy when I say that, but the majority of the time, I think she’s just telling me what she thinks I want to hear. Depression is a major bitch. I’m manic as hell, a lot more these days. My medication doesn’t seem to be working like it used to.

No. there is nothing wrong with you. It's been a pretty tough year not only for trans people, but also for all human rights in general, as I see it. Religion has become a powerful political force in forcing their own dogma upon the populace and is furthering to entrench their exclusionary views of right and wrong, normal and abnormal, morality and immorality. I feel like we are being forced back to a time around the civil war era and everyone should be concerned, women, children, any marginalized groups, Blacks, Asians; you can go on and on. I AM DEEPLY SADDENED THAT AFTER MY 68 YEARS ON EARTH, SO MANY LAWS ARE SUCCESSFULLY BEING PASSED THAT ARE ATTEMPTING TO WIPE OUT THE ABILILITY OF SO MANY PEOPLE TO SURVIVE, MUCH LESS SURVIVE WITH DIGNITY. Would I ever de-transition, though? Never. At this point in life, I have never been more happy, comfortable and confident in being who I genuinely am. And I have no doubt that society is far better served by my being out, too! Whether they like it or not. I believe this will pass someday. Trans has been a part of society throughout the ages and will always be.

Growing up as a male, you are expected to do male things such as the clothes you wear, your friends, your occupation, military service, drinking beer, hunting, fishing etc. It's not the activities for the most part, but the pressure to do them to conform. Why can't I wear women's underwear. Why can't I cry. Why can't I be accepted for who I am. Many years I went deer hunting, and underneath the blaze orange outerwear I wore a nice bra and panty set while in the deer blind. Talk about the perfect example what we should be able to do without the pressure of "being a man". Reminds me of the Lumberjack Song! -30-

I too love Bambi. So hard to see me shooting a deer except with my camera. - I wear a bra all the time now except when I swim. Most of the time, I don't care if the bra straps are seen but I also have some bras that show more like a tank undershirt would. Yes - I am all for you - wear what you want and be who you are.

Most schools are and have signage that states that they are a gun free zone. This is an open invitation for any wingnut to come in blasting knowing there won't be any resistance. It's sad that it's come to this but schools should have armed security on site. All of our government officials have armed security so why not our most vulnerable. Our children. A zillion gun control laws can be passed but it won't stop a determined maniac who wouldn't abide by any gun law anyway. MaryEllen

"Reminds me of the Lumberjack Song!" YEAH!!! I think you were pretty courageous to wear women's underwear while hunting. I know I'd be fearful of having some kind of emergency or failure of my clothing and then being found out. And, I never wore a bra beneath a shirt or anything out in public. Too much chance of someone noticing the telltale bumps of straps!

Where did we go wrong? How did we devolve into such a state that simple education is threatened by bigots? History and science are all but gone from the entire curriculum. Kids today will have no clue what a chromosome is, or what the civil war was. This is one of the most sickening times in recent American memory. There was even a man who wanted to eliminate math for being “woke”, whatever that is. When I was a kid, they didn’t hold back. They told us what American history was like. And they didn’t use any tact. Now the mere mention of slavery and the civil war is cause for immediate firing and huge fines. It seems that we’re the only ones that are ruled by cowards that are so fragile that they will completely collapse over anything that could possibly make them uncomfortable. I don’t see this kind of fascist 🤬 happening anywhere else. At least not in the civilized world. I want to puke up stuff I ate when I was 6. This 🤬 enrages me so 🤬 bad that I want to throw out the most vicious vulgarities imaginable. At some point I’m sure I would even end up creating a few new ones. They want us to be both ignorant and stupid. This is what the “greatest country on earth” is doing to its citizens. This is the freedom we brag so heavily about. I’m ready to move to a shack in Saudi Arabia or North Korea where at least I know that I hold no value. Not somewhere that tries to cover it up with lies and full on deception.

I’m having a hell of a time getting my ex out of my mind. I don’t know why, but she’s in my mind constantly. I can’t get her out. We broke up more than 20 years ago. But she is invading my mind and thoughts all the time. I ended things because I caught her cheating on me. I was in love with her. She broke my heart. But the memories are like locusts. They violate my thoughts every day. I think “What if….” all the time. I don’t know how to get rid of her. Adrianne isn’t happy about it, but says she understands. The thing is that until a few years ago, she NEVER crossed my mind. She and I were engaged. But all of a sudden, I was thinking about her all the time. I have no clue why. Help?

I didn't plan on it. From what I hear, she's pretty much gone insane in the last few years. I also heard she has 3 kids and no clue who the father is. So apparently she sleeps around quite a bit. That's drama that I neither need nor want in my life. I have my own baggage to deal with, I don't want to be a bellhop for people I don't give half a rat's *** about.

The freaky thing is that she lives with her parents who only live about 2 miles from me. We're practically in the same neighborhood. I know this because I drive by their house all the time when I have to go out, and see her a lot, thought she thankfully doesn't seem to notice me. Taking that route is unavoidable unless I want to add extra miles. And with the price of gas, I can't afford that. Still I just want to know why I'm thinking about her so much, and how to get her out of my head.

The sad fact of the matter is that a lot of people will start throwing around complaints like "police state" or "detention centers". I replied to a YouTube video last year, offering ideas about things that could be tried to protect our children, such as armed security and bulletproof glass. Apparently that means I was trying to imprison children the same as the Nazis did in WW2. I never knew that I was a Nazi. Without our children, there is not hope for the future of this country. Dust won't give you back the Colosseum. New gun reform is more crucial today than ever. I'm a gun owner, and have a permit. I go to a shooting range and clean my guns regularly. I carry, only for the fact that I'm scared for my safety when I'm forced to go out. It's not a fashion statement. At least not one I would choose. I look around, and I see people losing their minds whining about their "second amendment rights" when they haven't even read the second amendment. If they had, they would have known that it only applies to a militia that is needed to protect and defend the country. It doesn't give citizens the right to own thirty AR-15's and have your children each holding one for a picture to send as a xmas card. You can thank Lyin' Boebert for that one. Despite being a gun owner, it should be a lot more difficult to obtain a firearm, and just as difficult to acquire the ammunition. The background checks should go deeper, and take more time to more thoroughly go through a persons background. If they farted on a ham sandwich when they were 6, that should be something they should know as that implies malicious behaviour from said 6 year old. (I was the 6 year old. Don't ask.) But then again, put 20 monkeys in a room, they won't give you Shakespeare.

What exactly am I looking for if, God forbid, I'm single again. Being 79 years old, my time is precious on this earth, but that does not mean I can't experience what I've wanted my whole life. Being a man has ment that I fought the battles, lead the charge, protected the family, was the bread winner and all of that. I would love a women that is 100% vested in our relationship and my transformation. A women that takes the lead in all aspects from day to day, to sex, to my transformation. We need to have a 50/50 relationship except her 50% is worth more than mine..lol. Throw out my mens underwear and replace it with women's bras, panties, etc.. Replace.my clothes with more feminine attire. Teach me how to use makeup. Teach me how to be a women. In return she will have my love, affection and respect. She will feel safe. She will be nurtured. We will sleep next to each other feeling the warmth of our bodies and smelling the essence of each other. Hold hands, kiss, caress... two women in love! - 30-

Why do I have this desire to become a women, I don't know. My father died when I was six, my mother was an unhappy alcoholic and married a weak useless man. Did these affect me, don't really care. I am living and dealing with this. When I was a freshman in high school I had my first and only homosexual experience with my best friend. Had no idea what I was doing but enjoyed pleasuring him. I dated two women that could have encouraged me to fulfill my needs, but I was such a fool I did not recognize the possibility. My dream would be to be with a women that would support me 100%; To help me become the women I want to be. -30-

Girls, a lot of women like to hunt. As for me, I have a "Bambi Complex"! LOL!!

I’m laying here in bed with Adrianne. We were talking, and I asked her what I’m going to ask here. Is it wrong of me to wish I had never come out, and just continued to live as a man? It would be so incredibly much easier, but a lot more miserable too. I just don’t know what to think. So is it wrong of me to wish I had kept it to myself. That would be easier…… right? I guess I’m just scared to death about all the 🤬 that is happening against us. I fear for our lives just checking the mail. We have a court date this week, and I’m scared they’re going to rule against us simply because I’m trans. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I can be who I really am, or pretend to be someone I’m not.

My pitbull Lady had to be put down today. It still hasn’t fully sunk in yet, despite the fact that I’ve been bawling my eyes out all day. I wish it had been me who died today instead of her. I want to die. Life’s not worth living without her. She was my goddess. My heart and soul. I fell in love with her the instant I saw her picture online all those years ago. It’s been more than 10 years, but that was still not enough time. I’m going to find the best portrait artist in the country, and get her tattooed on me, with some of her ashes mixed into the ink. I know how to make jailhouse ink, so I’m thinking of giving myself a couple tats. I also know how to build a tattoo machine. I wish I knew exactly how old she was, but being that she was a rescue, and full grown when I got her, I honestly don’t know how old she was. I wrote something today, but at the moment I’m on my phone, which means I’ve probably made 40 typos and other screwups by now. If I can remember to, I’ll post what I wrote. It’s swear free, but like all my writings, dark. Depending on how you look at it.