Emma

Hi Barbara,

I'm new here too and exploring the site. I'm surprised (and a bit dismayed, frankly) that I see that almost three hundred have viewed your posting but you have not received any replies.

You have a nice photo and I hope you're well up there in NY state. Probably starting to get cold there, no? I'm out in the SF Bay Area and it's getting a bit chilly here, but probably much milder overall.

Be well, Barbara, and enjoy. You're a good person.

Best,

Emma

Hi RichLisa,

I'm a little younger than you but not so much that it matters, so I think I can understand where you're coming from. I agree, too, that it seems late, and I often wonder where I'd be today (perhaps lots happier?) if I had taken MTF steps a few decades ago. But I didn't, and here I am today. My suggestion? Go find a therapist that you can connect with. They're not all the same, so talk to a few and see what you can find. And then, share your story with him/her, and see what turns up for you.

I'll leave you with another story that you might find interesting. A 55 year old woman was talking to a friend. She said, "I've always wanted to become a lawyer, but shoot, if I started college today I wouldn't be one until my early 60s." Her friend counseled, "So, when you're 60 you can either be a lawyer or not; the choice is up to you." And then the woman saw that it was indeed her choice, and started applying to schools.

I'm not saying you should start hormones, plan on surgeries, or anything. I'm just saying (and saying it to myself as well) that we owe it to ourselves to take each day as it comes and be ourselves. We all deserve love, respect, and acceptance.

Best,

Emma

Hi Dawn,

My story parallels yours very closely. I had plenty of girlfriends growing up and in college but always knew I was hiding a powerful inner secret that had to remain hidden. So, while I loved them and enjoyed being with them I was unable to really be my self and despite their best efforts I would grow resentful and depressed, and break it off.

I do wish I was born female, and have wished this since I was about three years old. And I'm coming to terms these days with my desires but uncertain about "what I really am." It's a tough place to be, isn't it?

Anyway, thank you for writing your blog post and hope to see you writing more.

Best,

Emma

Dear Eve,

Thank you for sharing your story. I think it's really helpful for me to hear your openness. I've wanted to be a girl since preschool but now, over a half-century later (OMG!) I wasn't able to do much about it due to the shame I carried. So many therapists and psychiatrists that I saw for depression and even behind those closed doors I was unable to fully express my deepest and truest feelings. But that's part of my story and I'm writing to congratulate you on being so brave and true to yourself. It takes an incredible amount of courage to be yourself.

Best,

Emma