KittenNikki

​I can hardly blame you for that. Plus I'm still suffering sticker shock from the pricing on that.

With all our bills right now unfortunately electrolysis will be a long way off if ever.

​Not to derail this, but I wanted to share the forms I got. I ended up getting the Motowatar forms and got them for the sale price of $65, which I felt was a really good deal. I didn't want to spend a lot on them because I am trying to lose a significant amount of weight and would want to invest in another pair that's better sized for wherever I'm at that point.

Spent most of my afternoon lounging with Bree both in our computer room and spent some time upstairs. Worked on trying to figure out a few things in my 3D program without success and am now just enjoying raid night with the guild. Today has just been a t-shirt, gym pants and the bra and breastforms kind of day. I did use the nair this morning to remove my chest and stomach hair. If I'm ambitious I'll get my legs tomorrow. Bree is absolutely right about the smooth skin having much more sensation to it. Should have done this a long time ago. Now if only we could get something that works better on my facial hair we'd be gold.

So my breasts arrived today. Well the breastforms. I ended up getting the 1800g Motawator Silicone Breast Forms as they fit the bras I have access to and they looked like they'd be a good size for my frame and they are really fantastic.I am a little worried that it looks like I have constantly erect nipples but I'm sure I can cover those later if I go out. The weight is really good and while the water balloons I'd been using were ok, these are a lot better at giving me the feeling I was looking for when I'd put on a bra and stuff it. My Bree really spoils me. So here I am sitting in the bra I fixed, my breastforms, a turtleneck and a jumper and feeling very much in girl mode. It's exciting and I'm riding an emotional high right now. There was a little bit of intimacy between Bree and I and I think she's a little weirded out by them at the moment but she was at least curious, so that could be fun later. Sitting here with my own breasts hanging off of me has me thinking again about what I was talking about with Bree this morning. Part of why this had been quiet for so long until my depression kicked it up again, which isn't Bree's fault at all, but she's always made me feel wanted and makes me look at myself differently than I feel. I think that's the big reason I"M so comfortable talking about this with her now and letting her see me in girl mode and working with me in girl mode. She makes it more ok in my mind to be whatever I am at the moment and just make me feel better about being me. When she and I spent so much time talking through my feelings and thoughts and what we both were kind of expecting ultimately out of all this, it really kind of solidified a number of things and while I do honestly feel like I need to be a girl/woman some days and back in boy mode on others, even if it's just a little bit of dress up Bree makes this whole situation feel perfectly fine in my head. I really do feel like this makes everything that was screaming in my head over this quiet. Bree and I worked through some of the scales out there and I definitely feel mostly fit within the TV side with a few things that drift here and there. The depression has been extremely quiet and I've been feeling better mentally and emotionally these past few days than I have in a very long time. I've definitely got a lot to talk about with the counselor when I finally get to see her. Still a lot to work through, but at least this feels headed in the right direction.

Big hugs to my Bree. I'm sorry you were hurty and I was stuck at work.

So while we were cleaning out the closet today so that Bri could hang up more of her clothes without my male clothes eating into her space and remove a lot of things and we went through some of her clothes since we're planning on sharing some of her clothes and mine. Well that's when she mentioned her tights and if I wanted to try them as they were still too tight for her. I jumped at the chance. While dressing up in female mode I don't usually get physically excited, emotionally yes as I'm getting to be what I fell at that moment, but one of my kinks in either mode has been stockings, tights or pantyhose, either on me or my partner. Bri noticed this when I tried them on and between the two of us hatched a plan. After cleaning out the closet she looked online and found a local place that had thigh high's in my size (those are also a big kink hit on top of that) and so we went out to get those for me. I was riding a pretty big emotional high through all of this, but then Bri snuck in a present for me while I was looking for compression hose at the same time. She picked out a necklace with a chain in my size and a really pretty clear gemstone in it. I loved the gesture and the necklace. It was a really sweet thing to do and really touching. When we got home things escalated quickly after I tried the new thigh-highs on along with the necklace and one of our shared baby dolls and we both had a blast. I really love that she did this for me and I do love sharing this little kink with her, I mean I had in the past but it didn't necessarily click, but well, we're all on board now. I guess the stockings are part emotional along with the kink as well as I really associate these with my female side and the fact that Bri was able to get into this with me so much really hit a lot of my buttons physically and emotionally and made me very happy and very satisfied. So overall this was an interesting day for all of this. Work was going well until a few snags really hit a few buttons. Stress at work usually isn't a trigger for me, but since I've been more open about it with Bri, it's been on my mind a bit more. I did get fidgety a bit at work while it was going on and a bit after, but talking to Bri about it settled it. I'd wanted to get into girl mode after work yesterday and especially after the doctor's office visit but it wasn't practical and there was too much going on. I made do and Bri really made letting my doctor know what was going on that much better. She's been a rock through this, well at least when she's been talking to me about it. I am really excited as my breast forms I ordered should be arriving tomorrow. I will definitely be going into girl mode when those arrive and letting Bri destroy the water balloons I've been keeping around since she found out about all of this. I imagine she'll have fun and it'll be fairly therapeutic as well.