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MichelleLea

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Blog Entries posted by MichelleLea

  2. MichelleLea

    Our Times

    By MichelleLea,

    These are certainly the times that try men’s and women’s and all of us in between’s souls. I am fully supportive of Black Lives Matter, and I finally “get it.” I need to do more to help end 400 years of oppression and injustice against black people. Enough is enough! I have started a modest contribution to BLM.
    Of course, then we have our “fearless” leader ending protections for LGBQT folks. He has to go, and everyone better be voting for Biden even if it were discovered he was a crack head. No third-party distracting candidates like the last time. It is a little encouraging that he is thinking about what he will do it he loses.
    So, what have I been up to? I made friends with the lady at the Goodwill store where I bought a dress and a skirt. Even signed up for their rewards program. I will be back. I also bought a bra since I lost all mine in the move. It is cute, but I could have bought a size bigger. I am not that little.
    My hair continues to grow, and I really need to get to a stylist soon to give it some shape. I am thinking about highlights too. I think I can get away with it. I want to look good, and it would not hurt to be a little more noticeable. I am through with blending in—no fun!
    I am as good as I have ever been. I am getting my hours in at work and continuing to make friends there. I stay pretty busy. The weather has been gorgeous. The news is somewhat depressing, but I remain optimistic. We are Americans, right. We can make democracy work if we want to. Like Churchill said, “Americans do the right thing after they have tried everything else.”
    More to come….
  3. MichelleLea
    I had dug myself in a financial whole and tried some debt relief programs that turned out to be unrealistic given my circumstances. So, I found a bankruptcy lawyer just down the street from me who had received favorable reviews. She agreed that bankruptcy was my best option. Her fees were not unreasonable, and I started the long and convoluted process. It took a couple of months to raise the money to pay for it and to complete the required financial management courses. I had hearing scheduled for March 17, but the COVID-19 lockdown intervened. I finally did complete it telephonically May 1.
    In the meanwhile, I continued to establish myself as a citizen of Indiana. I stopped doing Door Dash after I had a late-night single car crash—no injuries. I am able to make ends meet and put a little aside now with my social security and work at Meijer. Although I lost most of my worldly belongings and miss some things, I am in good shape overall. I am replacing a few things as I can. I seem to be getting along fine. My dogs could use a visit to the groomer, but I have been doing my on grooming until then. We are all healthy and have established a routine that works for us.
    The pandemic has really not affected me that much as I live a hermit’s existence for the most part, although this is changing. I have made some friends with my co-workers at Meijer and have spent some time with one young guy outside of work. I have also made friends with a neighbor in my building, a 78-year-old musician who gave me some weed. It has been at least 30 years since I smoked any. Quite a trip. I like it late at night after all my chores are done for the day. I find that I am more honest with myself, both the bad and the good, and I have had more than a few good laughs at my own foibles. I am writing more, reading more, and started drawing again. I feel that I am in a good place. Little by little my place is coming together.
    I have started growing my hair out a little and plan on finding a stylist to give me an androgynous look that will be more feminine but still be acceptable at work. This is a conservative area for sure, but I still want to come out more. I am not getting any younger, and I want to be me. As the Kinks sing, “I’m not like everybody else.” I have spent my life trying to blend in. Now I want to stand out a little. I am thinking getting some highlights when I can afford it, and the salons are open again.
    So, that is my story up to now. I deal with things as they come and keep looking forward. I make sure every day is a good day. I will do my best to keep you up to date and be part of the TG community again.
  4. MichelleLea
    Part of the deal with Reach Veterans Services was that I seek gainful employment, so that I would become independent again. I had been making food deliveries with Postmates and Door Dash since I hit the road, but now I needed something steadier. I was referred to the local veterans employment specialist and he gave me some ideas. Then someone told me to apply at Meijer (a regional mega grocery store like Walmart) or I got an email about it—I do not know. There was an opening for a greeter, I applied online, and was called in for an interview. I was offered the job at $11.15 an hour for a 25-hour week through the coming Holiday season. After that, who knows? I accepted.
    I continued to do Door Dash to make extra money to pay my bills and living expenses. I do not see well at night to drive, but I kept pushing myself later and later well after dark because that is when it is busy.
    In the meanwhile, Gunny continued his push to get me into an apartment. This required that I get letter from a medical professional attesting that I needed my two poodles for emotional support so that I could have them in my apartment. The nurse practitioner was unable to justify it from a physical standpoint, but the psychologist was sympathetic and understanding and gave me my letter.  Frankly, I think it is the dogs who need emotional support, but that is only my opinion.
    I started my job and moved into my own apartment on November 15, 2019. I was more than ready to have my own place again. The rent was reasonable, and the apartment, though spare, was adequate for my needs. My bills and credit card debt were crushing though, so I sought out a debt relief program.
    (more later)
  5. MichelleLea
    I am not religious, but I think the Bible says something about having to lose it all to find it. That about sums it up for me. I took off chasing fantasy relationships and get-rich-quick schemes—I know, I know, I should know better, right?—and lost virtually everything I owned and then some. So, I find myself in Terre Haute, Indiana, of all places and liking it—loving it might be too strong. I have been here since the end of August, and through continued folly, I reached the end of my finances at the end of September. Being a veteran, I turned to their services first.
    The admitting clerk was a retired Marine gunnery sergeant, nicest guy ever, who took me under his wing and set up a plan for me. The fact that I had my two toy poodles with me was a little bit of a glitch at this point, but he got me in one of the apartments for homeless vets with a young guy named Herman, Army, I do not know the rank, but not far up. I had my own small room for the dogs and me and it worked fine. I was so happy to have a roof over my head and be in a safe place. I had only a cot to sleep on—that was an experience—but I had brought enough blankets that I made it work until I could get my own apartment.
    While this was going on, I am still talking to my online Mistress/girlfriend who I had been warned time and again was bogus. Gunny said the same thing, but I persisted in believing in her. No fool like an old fool. I had no more money to send, and Gunny would not be so nice if I were to send her any more money. But I was involved in a scheme with her “cousin” who purportedly worked for Sprint. It worked as long as cousin Penny was paying my phone bill. In the end, it was another scam, and I was left holding the bag.
    Gunny was pressing me in the meanwhile to make some decisions, and I opted to take a one-bedroom apartment just down the hall from my current room. It would be so nice to have my own place again. Herman was okay but rather taciturn. He had a pregnant wife who would visit the apartment on occasion. I remember that he would burn the eggs when he fried them. Stunk up the apartment. I would also be able to have my wine with dinner. No drinking or drugs allowed in the homeless apartment—too many vets with substance issues.
    (to be continued)
     
  6. MichelleLea

    Moving On 2

    By MichelleLea,

    This is going to be a fluid blog as my plans seem to be updated on a daily basis. My lady friend has resumed contact in earnest. and she now expects to fly to Miami on or before July 17 so that we can drive together to he home in Eugene, OR. I am using PODS for moving and storage, and I am scheduled to be completely packed up on Saturday, July 13. I don't have to be out of my place until July 15, and I may just camp out here until then or go stay with my old neighbors in Sunrise. I have my own doctor's appointment and vet appointments for my puppies to work into this schedule, but it looks like it will work. I am trying not to get too far ahead of myself with the packing, so that I don't pack something I need right now. It's really getting down to the wire. I am also wrapping up my business with Aflac. My district coordinator and I have become good friends, and I know he will miss me. I have no doubt that he will keep my updated on the latest drama in the office. I will attend one last Monday Morning Meeting tomorrow, and be handing over my accounts to another agent.  I'm not sure I will be doing anymore Aflac for a while anyway. I appreciate all the support you all have given me, and I will let you know more as the week progresses.
  7. MichelleLea

    Moving on

    By MichelleLea,

    Hello everyone,
    It has been a long time since I have been here. I have been engaged in an on-again/off-again online relationship with a Mistress for the past several months. The plan has been for me to move in with her, but several incidents have prevented this from happening. It appeared that this would be the week we finally got together in person, but now I'm not sure that is a reality. I have sold my trailer in anticipation of the move and will be on the road next Saturday--to where, I'm not sure. All my stuff, which could easily furnish a two-bedroom apartment or small home, is going into storage with PODS. I am going to be traveling with my two toy poodles and plan to visit family members to start with, but being close to family is not an ideal situation for me. I have been living like a semi-recluse since my wife died, and I am ready to be more social within the trans community. I am open to any suggestions from fellow bloggers. Is there such a thing as house that several trans folk could live together and share expenses and take care of one another? I'll update things as I go. Thanks.
     
     
  8. MichelleLea
    A while back, I ordered a pair of ladies' palazzo pants from Amazon, and, as you may know, they ask for a review. I sent them a favorable one since I like the pants. They look, fit, and feel great. Then a few days ago, a lady Amazon customer writes to ask me if the inseam would work for her "curvy 5"10" figure." So, I dutifully measured the inseam and sent her the measurements along with the comment that I thought the pants would work fine for her. I did have to add that they work for my 6' non-curvy male body. Now she has written back to tell me that my comments were helpful. I am finding this whole episode somewhat amusing. Now,I wonder if I'll be asked to give any more advice. LOL
  9. MichelleLea

    Ironing Sheets

    By MichelleLea,

    I used to wonder why my wife would take the time and trouble to iron pillow cases and sheets. Sure, they looked nice when folded in the closet and when first put on the bed. But in two seconds, they would be wrinkled again, and no one would know. But yesterday, I bought a new mattress and today it is being delivered, so I had to strip my old bed to get ready for the new one. Well. I might as well wash my sheets. I tried to use the wrinkle free setting on the dryer which seemed to work pretty well the last time I used it, but no so much this time. The sheets were pretty wrinkly. Not good. I decided it was time that maybe I ironed the sheets. As I did, several thoughts occurred to me. First of all, this was my wife’s “rice bowl” as it were. She had a very creased, tailored, button-down personality, and this was her way of expressing herself. It was her job to make sure that I left the house neat and sharp looking, and the household had to be the same. The second notion was that this was somewhat therapeutic, sort of like mowing the lawn. A sheet is a large expanse of fabric, but it is flat for the most part—contour sheets a little different—and pretty easy to do, unlike shirts which require more skill. I also found it to be very womanly and felt more feminine doing it for some reason. I enjoyed that. This is another step in my progression to live the last years of my life in an increasingly feminine fashion.
  10. MichelleLea

    Happy New Year

    By MichelleLea,

    I don't have anything special to write about. I only wanted to let you all know how special you are and how much I have enjoyed conversing with you. You have certainly enriched my life and I look forward to sharing more of our stories as we travel along. I resolve to have more fun this year and hope you all can do the same. We can celebrate the wonderful beings that we are. I wouldn't have it any other way. Big Hugs to all of you.

  11. MichelleLea
    I don’t know what it is. Could be the season, Christmas and all. Maybe I feel the need for presents. I did get a couple of gift cards which I will put to good use, but there were a few things that I wanted. So, while I was doing my weekly grocery shopping at Walmart, I took a spin through the Ladies section. I have some things that a belt would go nicely with. Along the way, I came across a cami that I could use. Price wasn’t bad, and I found one in my size. Next, I spied some leggings and ended up buying a couple of pair—one velour. I almost bought three—can’t have too many leggings, and it is winter, you know, even here in sunny Florida. I finally did find the belts and saw a set of three that looked nice, but I couldn’t find large size. So, I was pawing my way through the display, when a nice black lady asked if I could use help and tried to steer me to the men’s section. I told her that no, I wanted a lady’s belt, so she worked her way through the belts and finally found a large set. I thanked her for being so helpful and was on my way. I was happy with my personal gifts to myself and wore a set of leggings and the camisole all day.
    One other note about Christmas. One of my lady friends with whom I used to work at PACE Center for Girls sent me a nice Christmas card and used “Michelle” as her greeting. That made me feel good. She is very thoughtful that way.
    Hope everyone has a great holiday. I seem to be having a good one all on my own.
  12. MichelleLea

    Sewing Class

    By MichelleLea,

    As I have written earlier, I had my first sewing class yesterday at Cynthia's Fine Fabrics in Margate, Florida. My late wife bought her machine there a few years ago, and introductory classes are free to machine owners. It was a small gathering--only myself and three other ladies, all quilters. I sat across from a snowbird from New Jersey, who had just purchased a pretty fancy BabyLock sewing machine. She asked me what I sew, and I told her that I wanted to learn women's fashion sewing. She didn't pursue it any further and was cordial and friendly for the remainder of the class. I really needed this class as it covered a lot of machine basics as well as some beginning sewing techniques. The new machines are pretty advanced and do more and more of the work for you. It's good to know what they are capable of. Cynthia feels that I could benefit from taking the course over before moving on to the next level and I agree. We have a homework assignment to practice our machine stitches. It was fun, and I'm anxious to keep going. I have so many fun things in my head to make when I develop some proficiency, like jumpsuits and rompers, as well as dresses and tops and pants. It will be nice to make things that fit my body type. I will be better at altering the ladies' clothing that I already have too. I'll keep everyone up to date. 

  13. MichelleLea

    Sewing Anyone?

    By MichelleLea,

    Black Friday or Viernes Negro as they say here. Interesting day.  Aren’t they all from here on in.
    I hadn’t planned on going out today. I did my second coat of Kilz II in the bathroom and front door. Then, I got to sewing or at least altering. I managed to get the machine working again and hemmed up one t-shirt. I also got halfway through a nightshirt that I am making into a dress when my thread got hung up in the machine. I tried to fix it myself and only ended up removing a button from the side of the machine which didn’t help. So, I didn’t want to damage the expensive Pfaff and did the best thing which was to take it to Cynthia’s for cleaning and repair. Cynthia was conducting a class, so she was unable to work with me, but another lady named Susan was more than helpful. She showed me several things about the machine and wrote up my ticket for cleaning. She actually got the thread out, and the button turned out to be a thread cutter on which she cut her finger. I casually mentioned that I needed to take a class myself, and on the way out she gave me the information. I also mentioned it to Cynthia who was enthusiastic about me joining. So, now it looks like I am going to take a sewing class which I desperately need. I just don’t know what I tell Cynthia and the other ladies. Why am I learning how to sew? Well, you see I am a transgender person and I want to make ladies’ clothing that will fit my male body. Duh!  Not sure how that will fly. First class is on December 8. I’ll think of something.
  14. MichelleLea

    A Lot About Nothing

    By MichelleLea,

    So, a while back I get this store credit from Ashley Furniture for $219. I think it was for a damaged sofa cushion that was long ago taken care of, but whatever. With a lot going on, I put it aside and almost forget about it. When I do look at it to see if it’s the real deal, it says that it expires on December 8, so if I’m going to use it, I better get busy. I could use a new area rug and maybe a runner. I don’t know where I got this in my head, but I was thinking it was for Rooms-to-Go, and I locate a store close to me. It’s a Friday afternoon, and RTG is in an area of town that I have never been. I figure I’ll check it out, and do a little more prospecting while I’m at it. It took a little doing—I drove right past it the first time—but I did find the store. I wanted to double check the credit letter before going in, and lo and behold, it said Ashley Furniture Home Store, not Rooms-to-Go! For dumb.! (Glad I didn’t go in.)
    It turns out that the nearest Ashley store is in Boca Raton. Well, that’s really not too far from me, and I was already out, so I decided to go for it. I get to the store and ask about runners—don’t have—and the rugs are on the floor. I think then that I could use a couple of new table lamps as mine seem to work intermittently despite my best efforts to replace the bulb sockets. After some looking, I find a modern looking lamp that I like and buy two of them. I go over my credit by $55, but what the hey. I figure I’ll pick them up in the morning as the warehouse is close to my dog groomer, and I have an appointment for the boys. When I get home, I try to find places to fit my new purchases and am not happy with what I am trying to figure out. When morning comes, I decide that it was not such a great deal after all, and I decide to cancel the whole thing. Not so easy.
    I did call and cancel, but since I combined the store credit with my credit card purchase, I had to go back to the store to get my credit card money back—not sure about this, but I went along. On the way to the store, I decided that if I am going to buy something, what I really need is a new mattress. This was way more than I had planned on spending, but it was something I did need—mine is over 25 years old, and I have been napping a lot lately. Maybe it was time. I got my same sales guy. I lay down on one mattress and thought it was okay. He said, not so fast. Take your time with a mattress purchase. Lie on each one for several minutes to let it adjust to your body. I must have spent at least 45 minutes doing just that, and I finally found a mattress that was in my price range that worked. It will be delivered tomorrow on Sunday of all things. I just got a text confirming the times. I am excited about getting a new bed. Oh, and I bought a pillow too. In for a penny, in for a pound. We’ll see if my sleep improves.
  15. MichelleLea

    Shoes and Stockings

    By MichelleLea,

    In the midst of getting ready for the onslaught of Hurricane Irma and getting used to working again, lo and behold, my four inch pumps arrived. I had ordered them ages ago, and it seemed as if they would never arrive, but they did, and I'm thrilled. The size 13 fits perfectly, and they look gorgeous--white patent leather. I am getting used to walking in them, but I have to laugh. I look like the teenage girls I used to teach when they were wearing heels for their first times--a little teeter-tottery. But with practice, I should be fine. Well, you can't have new shoes without stockings, and my thigh high black sheers arrived today--Amazon is much faster. They are so sexy, and the two together are a knockout. I have bought thight highs before, but have never been able to wear them as freely as now. I am loving it. Now I need a black, sexy bra. That will be next on the list. So the transformation continues. A little effort and expense, but so worth it.
  16. MichelleLea

    Baby Steps

    By MichelleLea,

    It has been a while since I have been here, so I need to bring this blog up-to-date. I think I was in the process of selling my house when I last wrote. We went to closing on October 2, so that is a done deal. In the meanwhile, I bought an older mobile home in a 55+ senior park and am completing my second month here. At this writing, all is going well, and I am happy with my decisions. The park is safe and quiet. Well, I am somewhat near the railroad tracks, but I have gotten used to the trains. The bed does rumble a little when the trains go by, but it's like having a vibrating bed, and I have gotten used to it. The neighbours are nice, and pretty much keep to themselves which I appreciate being somewhat of a recluse. I actually feel more comfortable wearing more feminine clothing in my early morning outings with my puppies. I do run into an occasional fellow dog walker, but it's dark and early and nobody seems to mind at that hour. 
    So, this brings me to my news for the day. As I may have mentioned, I have been a secret cross-dresser, transgender sissy for all my life. During this past year since my wife died, I have been able to express myself more fully at home which has been good, but I still present male to the outside world. That will probably be the case for the foreseeable future as I would have a hard time at t his point working as a female. I'm just not ready. But, I do have some female friends from my previous work at PACE Center for Girls. I had lunch with two of them last year, and today, we met again for lunch. I made up my mind, that I would let them know that I had a feminine side and was transgender. I was somewhat nervous and apprehensive about doing it, but I needed to be open and honest with them about my true self. As it turned out, they were very accepting and sympathetic, and I felt so relieved to finally open up to the outside world. We hope to meet again soon as we all had a good time. Next time, I will officially be one of the "girls." Maybe even do a little dressing. They already want to call me Michelle. What fun!
  17. MichelleLea

    Opening Up

    By MichelleLea,

    Although I have shared my coming out over the past week, I wanted to write a little more about it here. It has been almost a year and a half since my wife died, and I became free to express my feminine side, albeit secretly. In the process, I have been able to share my evolution with the online community of sisters and have received much-needed support and encouragement along the way. Thank you. Recently, however, I have increasingly felt that I need to open up about my secret life to some of the people close to me. It began a week ago with lunch with my lady friends from my previous employment and continued yesterday when I opened up to my sister. Both instances were very positive and encouraging. I truly feel like a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders, and I feel like a new person with a new life. I have no immediate plans to come out to any additional family members at this point. If they find out, that's okay. I'll deal with it. I don't have anything to hide, and I'm happy with who I am. The journey continues.

  18. MichelleLea

    Feeling Gurly/Sissy

    By MichelleLea,

    After a lengthy hiatus, I'm back. My move into my 55+ mobile home park went well, and after being here for almost a month, it appears that my new living arrangement will work out fine. The neighbours are very quiet and keep to themselves. for the most part--I have a mentally disturbed lady living next to me who is a challenge on occasion, but more on that at another time. I have met several other residents when I am out walking my dogs, and again, they are friendly but not overly so. This is fine with me because I am more or less a recluse by nature. I like people, but I am fine being on my own.
    It has been a hectic couple of months what with selling the house and moving, and, oh yeah, work, so I haven't had much time to indulge my girly side. That is changing starting today. I have finally had some time to start going through all my dresser drawers and arranging and organizing them. I am finding all my feminine goodies along the way. it is a lot of fun--like Christmas. After a lifetime of semi-denial, I am admitting to myself that I am a sissy at heart. It is just who I am. I would have been happy with a dominant woman but through several wives and girlfriends either one of the other of us understood what it was all about. I am still learning myself. Anyway, it's helpful at this point to have a place to communicate my feelings to an empathetic audience. I will write more as the day progresses. It's pretty early in Florida right now.
  19. MichelleLea

    New Queen In Town

    By MichelleLea,

    After all these weeks and months, I finally made the move. My house actually was under contract by the end of August, and, as I wrote before, I found a mobile home for the princely sum of $15,000. I put $5,000 down to take possession and started moving in during September. I made the final move on October 1. The closing was October 2, and the money was in the bank--big sigh of relief. I have spent the past week unpacking an making a home for myself. So far, I couldn't be happier. I didn't realize how much I needed to make a break from the past and be my own man/woman. The mobile home park is a 55+ and quiet. I met one neighbor a couple of days ago when she came over to offer me dinner--I begged off. Her boyfriend is back now, so maybe I'm off the hook for now. I can't exactly parade around in my finery, at least not as yet. It's pretty quiet at 5 in the morning when I walk the dogs. I will get braver. Right now, I just feel good, and that's all that matters. Hope everyone is doing well. Hugs and Kisses.
  20. MichelleLea

    Leap of Faith

    By MichelleLea,

    This is yet another instalment in the continuing saga of Michelle Lea. As those of you who have been following along may know, I sold my house. It is now under contract with a closing date of October 2. I have had to jump through a few hoops in the matter of repairs to get the deal done, but now it looks like everything is on track--although my realtor tells me that it's not over until the money is in the bank. Nevertheless, I took the plunge, and last week I purchased a mobile home for the princely sum of $15,000. I was going to rent, but I wasn't finding anything that I was willing to afford, and this seemed like just what I was looking for at this point. My primary objective is to cut my overhead so that I can add to savings instead of taking out of savings to live. I will still have some monthly payments in the form of a lot fee, but it is $686, and I think I can swing that. It's cheap living for sure. Now we'll see how I like living in a 55+ community. Hopefully, my neighbours--I have a British spell check-- keep mostly to themselves. If it is awful, I can always sell or rent it and move on, but I think it will be fine. When I say, "leap of faith," what I mean is that I put $5000 down so that I can start moving my stuff during the month of September, and be totally moved in by the end of September. I will pay the balance with the proceeds of the sale of my house. That is the plan. We'll hope for the best.
  21. MichelleLea

    Almost Done

    By MichelleLea,

    My house is sold—sort of. I have a contract, but the lady—a judge—could back out over the inspection report which found some evidence of termites and roof leaks. I have not seen the final report yet, but it seems the repairs will come to around $3500. It could be worse. I have already sunk 3200 into remodelling the bathroom and fixing the damage to my patio. Anyway, you do what you have to do. I think it will go through. The closing date is October 2 which is good for me as it will give me time to find a place to live and get packed and ready to go. I have seen some manufactured homes for sale that are pretty inexpensive, but I am still being advised to rent at this point. I will see what I can do. So, that’s what’s happening on that front. I am still plugging away at AFLAC and opening little accounts—one last week and it looks good for one this week. I am waiting until I get moved to make any big decisions about new employment. I would like AFLAC to work, but I have to be realistic as well. We’ll see. My step-daughter arrives next Thursday to help me get packed. I’m going to give her a lot of her mom’s things, so we’ll get that ready to ship. I am packing away my feminine things while she is here—only three days—so no big hardship. I don’t want to deal with that issue now—or ever maybe. All in all, I seem to be holding my own. The adventure continues. For sure.
  22. MichelleLea

    Moving On Update

    By MichelleLea,

    We had two showings on the house yesterday, and the feedback was very positive. One party is still debating over my house and another one. At this point, I hope they pick the other one. There are still some finishing touches to be done, and my guy is starting tomorrow with them. It will also help us pass inspection when that time comes. Besides, I am not quite ready to move, although that is rapidly becoming out of my hands. I did talk to Ricki Barr who was introduced to me by Monica. She felt that I should definitely seek some financial advice when the house does sell so that I make the best use of the money and avoid tax issues. Not a bad idea at all. We could have chatted all night, but I am in somewhat of a time crunch and had things that needed doing. I started writing down the addresses of places I find on the internet, and as I'm out and about, I am going to check them out. They look good in the ads, but I have to see what the neighbourhood is like. I want to live where I don't have to fear for my life. I am pretty much of a recluse, so I don't think I'll have to worry too much about my future neighbours (my grammar/spelling checker must be British)--as long as they mind their own business. My stepdaughter, Jilly, is coming for a visit on the 24th to help me pack. I am giving a lot of dishes and knickknacks to her, and it will be helpful to have her here to select what she wants. What I don't keep or give to the kids is being donated or thrown. I am trying to purge. I have to pack all my feminine things before she gets here, though. She's pretty conservative, and I don't want the hassle. I feel it's best kept a secret for now. Later.
  23. MichelleLea

    Moving On

    By MichelleLea,

    It's been one year since my wife died--yesterday to be exact. It has certainly been a year of adjustment for me. I have had to deal with loss for sure, but it has also allowed me to come out and express myself and to be more honest about who and what I am. That has been very liberating, and the friends I have made on this site have been there with me with their sage advice and wisdom. It is much appreciated. Now today, I have made another big step in listing my house for sale. Initially, I had been hoping to keep it a while longer, but unfortunately, my income from AFLAC has not been enough to meet my expenses, and I need to downsize. Frankly,  I don't need this big a house--not that it's that big--but it has a fair size yard, and all my free time seems to be spent maintaining it. I still have a little left in savings, and I want to get out while I still have a cushion. I plan to rent a mobile home locally for a while to see how that goes and how I like it. I can move anywhere now, but would kind of like to stay in Florida. Anyway, I'll keep writing about the experience--I have a lot of stuff to get rid of for starters.
  24. MichelleLea

    New Beginnings

    By MichelleLea,

    After what seemed like a forever dry spell, I finally opened another account today and wrote some business. I had just come from a promising sales presentation with one company and thought I'd check up on an employer who had put me off the last time since she just didn't have the time. Today she was ready and we just did it. I wasn't expecting that, but I'll take it. I have been seriously considering doing something else, but I really would like this to work. I have some more promising things coming up. We'll see. Eventually, I will downsize, but I'm not ready yet if I can help it. I like my privacy and being able to do pretty much what I want--not that I do much. Just me and my puppies.
  25. MichelleLea

    Lying Low

    By MichelleLea,

    I've been sick this past couple of days--since Monday actually. Our training room at work has an ac vent that blows right down your neck, and I didn't have a jacket to ward off the chill. Funny to move from Minnesota to Florida to get out of the cold, only to freeze in air conditioning. Not sure that was the cause. Anyway, it started as a nasty cold Monday afternoon. I should have stayed home on Tuesday, but we have a new recruit that I was scheduled to train, so I did spend a couple hour with her. She even felt sorry for me and bought me some deli chicken soup to take home. The soup was good by no cure. I think it's flu since I have achy bones and am running a `100-degree temp. I've read several times what the difference is, but I don't remember. I did get my flu shot, but they are not 100% effective. 
    Note: I began this on Thursday and my computer decided to do its own thing, so I'm back again on Friday. For some reason, I didn't lose what I had written. Anyway, after sleeping my way through most of the week, I am back at it again. I'm not totally out of the woods, but I definitely feel better--more myself. Maybe Emma was right in that I needed a break, and I was going to get one whether I wanted to or not. Fortunately, my week was light. I did some follow-up today, and should,  be ready for next week. I am reading John Connolly's Every Dead Thing. I've read it before a long time ago. It's a somewhat grim tale but well-written. It's good to be reading fiction again. I like to keep up on the news, but most of it is so depressing. Hopefully, this country can be saved. My opinion.
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