AllyT2018

Jessica, Thank you for posting this topic. It speaks to something that I have been thinking about a lot. I appreciate your courage to share your feelings so openly. I think you are also on the right track about keeping an open mind. Although I am still in the early stages of transitioning, I have been in the LGBTQ community for sometime. For decades, I told people I was gay man, though it never felt right. One important turning point for me was when I was filling a questionnaire prior to taking an HIV test at the LGTBQ Center in San Diego. The questionnaire asked about sexual history and identify as well as gender. I put down my gender identity as female and my sexual orientation as straight. I can't describe how right this felt. When I handed it to the counselor I cried. It was such a cathartic moment. Since that time, I gradually involved myself in the trans community -- through the San Diego LGTBQ Center and a bar frequented by transwomen (the SRO). For what it's worth, I have found that there are many people whose sexuality and gender identity are fluid. This is just a long way of saying that I would not discount Cis women as not being potential partners. I have continually been pleasantly surprised in meeting CIS partners of transpeople in many different combinations -- including MTF and Cis women. I have met the following pairs: MTF & FTM FTM & Lesbian identified CIS woman FTM & straight CIS woman MTF & MTF identified as bisexuals MTF & straight-identified CIS man For myself, as I said, I want to date a CIS man. I am not sure if I ever will have bottom surgery. (I am tabling that issue for now.) However, I am sure that I would expect my male partner to consider me a female even in bed. I know that some people would call that relationship gay, but I really only think it matters to us. In any case, just sharing some thoughts. Thank you again. Ally