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Horns of a Dilemma



Yesterday afternoon a rental RV pulled in to the campground space adjacent to mine. I didn't take much notice of it. I glanced there occasionally and was surprised to find that the couple were sitting in the cab of the truck. Kind of odd since the first thing one does is connect up the water, electricity, and waste disposal. I made my dinner and while cooking my pork chop decided to ask them if all was alright. Maybe they were unfamiliar with what to do and embarrassed to ask? 

After eating my chop (which was delicious!) I headed over there. The man was in the cab, the woman no where to be seen. He popped out and I explained that I noticed them in the cab and was just checking to see if they needed any help. He was very friendly, in his 60s I think, and said it was just a comfortable place to sit and update his Facebook while keeping an eye on his own BBQ. His girlfriend then came out too, very big blond hair, friendly. I learned that they are from North Carolina, very small towns (about 2,000 people) near Raleigh, heading to Frisco (please, please, don't ever say that. It's San Francisco) today I think. We separated back to our RVs and the evening.

Last night I considered which side of the bathroom bill they are on. My guess is that they are on the trans-phobic side as they also made a small sleight about a minority. So now I'm wondering if I should venture there again this morning and ask them about the bathroom bill. And if they are for the discrimination ask them what concerns them. And regardless, then tell them that I'm transgender, and assure them that while in male mode (which they see me now) neither I or anyone I know who is trans would even consider entering a women's washroom. I could do it, sure. But I'm scared to think what might happen. Probably nothing physical, but emotional? Do I want to deal with that?

Anyway, I left my copy of Janet Mock's book "Redefining Realness" in the campground book exchange area. Maybe someone will read it and learn something. I hope so.

P.S. That couple left the park while I was in the laundry room, so they were unaware of their neighbor, the transwoman. I suppose I'll always wish I'd gone ahead and broached the subject with them. Who knows, we might have had a nice chat over a glass of wine. Given the same circumstances that's what I plan to do the next time. Live and learn.


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In my own personal dilemnas of this sort, I always ask myself "Would I be open and okay with these strangers coming over to me on vacation and bringing up this topic on the opposite side of my viewpoint?"  and then usually go with my intenral response to the thought (and it's generally no, I don't want someone coming up to me on hot topics like religion or abortion for example on my vacation time wanting to educate me to their viewpoint).  Things like this come up on a lot on the vacations Nikki and I like, large groups of people with varied veiwpoints and commentary, so I know why you want to. 

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Excellent point, Bree - thank you. I agree that I'd not be pleased to have someone come on strong about anything, pretty much anytime. And maybe that's the issue, to ask if they'd like to talk about it. If not that would be perfectly okay with me - and it really would be. I'll certainly keep your advice in mind.

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Dear Emma,

Tend to agree with Bree.  Feel it is potentially dangerous.  

It is sad we have to filter our thoughts to control what comes out of our mouths according to a situation.

Please remember that as a woman you must take greater care.  

Your friend,


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