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About Bonnie

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    Senior Moderator
  • Birthday 09/25/1952

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  • Gender Transgender
  • Location Ottawa - Canada

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Bonnie's Activity

  1. Bonnie added a post in a topic: Fantasia Fair   

    That would be great to attend.
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  2. Bonnie added a post in a topic: Name change question   

    I will tell you how I chose mine.  My full name is Bonnie Dawn Ryba - BDR.  My male name initials are also BDR.  My male first name is Scottish and so is Bonnie.  Bonnie was the first girl I liked as a friend when I was about 5 or 6.  She was the sister of one of the boys who I knew or one of my younger brothers knew.  I liked being with her.  It was on a military base in Germany so we weren't there for long (3 years).  When we moved back to Canada I never did see her again but I always remembered her and so I use her name.  I chose Dawn because it is the beginning of a new day.  Ryba was chosen from a list of names that came up after I entered Bonnie as a first name on the virtual reality site called Second Life.  Ryba began with R like my real name and it had 4 letters like my real name.  I found out later that it means 'fish' in Polish and that didn't bother me at all.
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  3. Bonnie added a post in a topic: Church sign saying 'Satan made gays' covered in black paint   

    This just shows how Hate can be placed upon whole groups of people no matter how those people really are.  There is evil everywhere in all groups and countries and races and the best place to look for it is at the top.  The people with power or the people behind that power.  I am not saying that all people with power are evil because they are not.  I am saying that is the best place to look for it.  So when someone is out there preaching hate then I would look very closely at them and question them.  It is easy to blanket a whole group of people by pointing at something in the Bible or the Koran or whatever Hitler used to convince the Germans that Jews should be exterminated.  Anyone who instills fear into the populace should seriously be questioned on their motives.  Look at all the horrible ways people have been put to death on behalf of Good!  How can good people do such things?  They can't unless they do it out of fear that that will happen to them if they don't go along.  If you question the power to be then you place yourself at risk of persecution.  The LGBT is challenging society by asking what is wrong with loving another of the same gender?  What is wrong with wanting to live as the gender you mentally are?  Just the questioning itself is scary for those in power.  They don't like being challenged.  It seems to me that is why these books were created in the first place and then everyone told they can't be questioned.  That is like saying that books of law can't be questioned or changed.  Tell people some god guided the person or persons to write the laws and then they can't ever be questioned or changed.
    ISIL is a perfect example of how Evil has gained control of a group on the justifications of being Good.  How can anyone Good be so cruel and vicious?
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  4. Bonnie added a post in a topic: Toronto Pride and Ottawa Pride 2016   

    This year Toronto Pride 2016 will be for a whole month.  June 1 to July 3.  I should have posted this earlier, however, the July 1-3 will be the best part of it.   July 1 is also Canada's birthday so there will be a whole lot of partying going on Friday.
    I had gone to the one in Toronto numerous times and was planning on going again this year but I am low on cash so will have to miss it this year.  I will go to the one where I live here in Ottawa in August.  August 15 - 21.  I had gone to this one last year for my first time.
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  5. Bonnie added a post in a topic: High Costs for Transgender Men and Women   

    Transition process full of surprising costs for transgender men and women
    Even in Canada, transitioning can cost as much as 'a house in a small town'
    Stef Sanjati is a 20-year-old Toronto-based makeup artist and YouTube star who is chronicling her male-to-female transition through candid, funny, and somewhat addictive short video updates. Within the next year, she hopes to travel to Boston for facial feminization surgery and expects expenses for the trip and procedure to reach $45,000. Because she only has $5,000 in savings, she has turned to the crowd-funding platform GoFundMe for the rest.
    On her GoFundMe page, Sanjati explains how the expensive procedures will change her life more than physically: “These surgeries are about feeling like you, every day, when you wake up in the morning - before cinching, pulling, and covering every inch of your body with body shapers, tape, and cosmetics. They're about recognizing yourself in the mirror, and feeling like living, going outside, is possible, and not something to dread.”
    She talks about the high cost of changing your wardrobe for transwomen and for makeup.  For me that is the cost of being a woman anyway.  The extra costs would be in the body shapers and the hair removal along with the non-covered surgeries if you decide to go that far.
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  6. Bonnie added a post in a topic: The First Transgender Cover Star of "Women's Running"   

    Meet Amelia Gapin The First Transgender Cover Star Of Women’s Running
    The cover of the July issue of Women’s Running magazine looks much like the other covers of the popular sports and fitness mag. But it’s unique for one pretty special reason: it features the magazine’s first-ever transgender cover star.
    Say hello to 33-year-old, Amelia Gapin. She’s pretty badass, not least for her sporting prowess that has seen her compete in eight marathons, but also because she beat 3,000 other cover star hopefuls to make history fronting The Body Issue of the running mag.
    “Being a transgender woman on the cover of a magazine dedicated to women says people like me are not just being seen, but being seen for who we are,” Gapin told the magazine in her cover interview. 
    “It’s a feeling of acceptance, inclusivity and being welcomed.”
    Congratulations Amelia!
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  7. Bonnie added a post in a topic: Listen to the Voice of Your Elders   

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  8. Bonnie added a post in a topic: Two spirit: gay, indigenous and out   

    Two spirit: gay, indigenous and out
    Massey Whiteknife recalls having to go to the bathroom during classes as a kid growing up in northern Alberta and not during breaks at school to avoid the bullies.
    “It was horrible. I was very feminine. I would get beat up if I went during the break,” the 37-year-old businessman from Fort McMurray told Yahoo Canada News.
    Whiteknife and other indigenous Canadians have come a long way. They have embraced their two-spiritedness despite the challenges. Whiteknife, from the Fort McKay First Nation reserve, runs a multimillion-dollar occupational training and safety business: he is out of the closet to everyone and is sometimes in public as Iceis Rain — a drag queen and recording artist.
    As an adult, Whiteknife came to understand the indigenous term of two-spiritedness, which has helped him embrace all his facets. His 2014 record, The Queen, garnered six nominations at the Aboriginal Peoples Choice Music Awards. He was the first two-spirited person to perform in drag.
    “[Iceis Rain] has become a leader and mentor in her own community.”
    It’s a bitter and rough road for many indigenous youth who are two-spirited, says Alex Wilson who’s from the Opaskwayak Cree Nation in northern Manitoba. Wilson heads the Aboriginal Education Research Centre at the University of Saskatchewan. Her focus of study is two-spirit identity development.
    “I used to perform on my own in the basement when I was a kid,” he explained. “She was reborn when I was 18. She does her own thing and I do mine.”
    “We use the two-spirit term [to refer] both to sexual orientation and gender identity,” Wilson, who is also lesbian, told Yahoo Canada News.
    “In our language it makes sense because we have roles and places for various gender and sexual identities.”
    Another example of how life can appear to be so bleak with no future and then things turn for the better.  Education and assistance can go a long way.
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  9. Bonnie added a post in a topic: Every 36 hours a trans person is reported murdered   

    Brazil is quite bad too.
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  10. Bonnie added a post in a topic: Transgender man forced into clothes and jail for women   

    Transgender man forced into clothes and jail for women settles with Toronto police
    Toronto Police Services and correctional officers must revamp their policies on interacting with transgender inmates — especially at the point of arrest — after a historic settlement with a man who was stripped of men's clothing, forced into women's underwear and put into a holding cell for women.
    Boyd Kodak was arrested on Dec. 6, 2012, on harassment charges that were soon dropped by the Crown.
    "I really don't even believe at this point that the other side really understands the real impact of what they've done to my life," Kodak said in an interview Tuesday. "And I felt like this could never, never happen again to anyone else."
    I am happy to see that corrections have been made, training for police officers have taken place and policies amended.  A lot has happened to better these types of situations since 2012 here in Canada.
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  11. Bonnie added a post in a topic: Airbnb under fire after trans woman's discrimination complaint goes viral   

    Airbnb under fire after trans woman's discrimination complaint goes viral
    Airbnb is facing a backlash for failing to take immediate action after a transgender woman was denied accommodation by a host because of her gender identity. It took a tweet by the customer to go viral before Airbnb took action against the host, who was eventually blacklisted from the website.
    Host said she was worried her 13-year-old-son would be uncomfortable with Petrosky in the house, but thanked her for her "honesty".
    If you open your place to the public then you open it to the public.  If you are worried about your son then you will have to use other means to rent your room.  The mother should have talked to her son first for one thing.  Who else does the mother think her son might be uncomfortable with?  This would have been a perfect opportunity to learn more about transgender people.  If fact making your place available for a Bed n Breakfast is a wonderful way to find out about all sorts of cultures, lifestyles, other places, and people in general.
    Missed opportunity and now the host has been removed from the listings.  She had high recommendations from other guests.  I am sure she will miss the extra money.  It is too bad all around.  I would like to give her a second chance if she learned more about transgender people and understood her mistake.  However, if she still could not understand her prejudice was wrong then so be it.
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  12. Bonnie added a post in a topic: Is the chatroom down?   

    I just tried it and I got in.
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  13. Bonnie added a post in a topic: Canadian Poll on Bathrooms and Gay Rights   

    Here is more on the poll;
    Experience bears out Ipsos/Yahoo Canada poll on LGBTQ, advocates say
    A new Ipsos poll that suggests LGBTQ Canadians, particularly transgender people, feel less safe, more discrimination and less support in their communities than their straight counterparts comes as no surprise to those who advocate for them.
    More supports exist for LGBTQ people in cities such as Toronto, said Hudler, but overt prejudice is still evident in some smaller communities, especially directed at young people. Many flee to the city to escape it and fall into poverty and homelessness, he said.
    Rights for trans people way behind
    The problem apparently is even worse for transgender people. The poll found even wider gaps when it came to feelings of safety, discrimination and support. Ipsos noted only 25 Canadians who identified themselves as transgender were polled, not statistically significant but enough to indicate their experience differs from other Canadians.
    Absolutely true, said Rebecca Rose, chairwoman of the Nova Scotia Rainbow Action Project.
    “Rights for transgender people are about 20 years behind rights for other lesbian, gay, bisexual folks in regards to legal rights,” she said in an interview.
    After legal protections education is key!
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  14. Bonnie added a post in a topic: Woman Harassed in Bathroom   

    I was wondering when this was going to happen!  Men and women who don't look quite masculine or feminine being told they are in the wrong bathroom.  I have often seen women in public who I question to myself whether or not they are a transwoman.  I will not approach them to ask for two reasons; if she is not a transwoman then I have just insulted her; or, if she is then I have just told her she does not pass as a woman.  My thoughts then went on to wonder if she has bathroom issues?  What about butch women?  What about transmen who can't use a urinal and can be heard peeing from the next stall, will they fear having to be questioned when they leave the stall?  I don't understand where the threat is?
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  15. Bonnie added a post in a topic: Canadian Poll on Bathrooms and Gay Rights   

    Canadians have little interest in battling over bathrooms and gay rights:
    On the issue of transgender access to bathrooms and locker rooms of their choice, most Canadians are either supportive or indifferent. And that indifference shouldn’t be misinterpreted. Indeed, when asked how important LGBTQ issues were to them, a majority of Canadians said “somewhat” or “very.”  
    Furthermore, on the question of Canada as a world leader in this area, and whether their quality of life had improved over the past 20 years, 83 per cent of LGBTQ Canadians agree.
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