Chrissy

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Everything posted by Chrissy

  1. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry Next step...hair   

    A "pixie cut" seems to be a good option for those things ☺
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  2. Chrissy added a post in a topic NYT: "Is God Transgender?"   

    On the subject of the Supreme Court specifically, there is very good reason to be very pessimistic about the near and distant future. Although Goresuch didn't really change anything (he replaced Scalia, perhaps the worst bigot/sexist/homophobe/transphobe the court has ever seen). But Kennedy and Ginbsburg are both at an age where retirement could happen anytime, if Trump gets to nominate for one or both of them, the Court is lost for decades to come.
    After that bit of pessimism, I think that simply means having to put more effort into grassroots movements at the local and state level. And one thing that's been very encouraging in the past 6 months is the new level of activism in the country, triggered by Trump, and the intersectional nature of it! I increasingly see Black Lives Matter people, feminists, trans activists, etc. stepping up for each other's interests (in truth they're just realizing that there are so many shared interests). There will be set backs, especially at the federal level, but I still think the future will be better! Hopefully more and more cisgender, straight, white men will realize that there's a benefit to giving up their privilege and working to help everyone advance. (Hopefully Caitlyn Jenner will realize that too)
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  3. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry Healthier life style.   

    There's definitely no such thing as too late . We always have the rest of our lives.
    I def find it easier to live healthier being out and transitioned - nothing like living authentically to get you to care more about your health!
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  4. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry Letter   

    So sorry you had to experience that. I'm sure most of us live with the realization/fear of being rejected for our identity, and the actual experience of it, but to have it put to you so directly must be difficult.
    The closest I've come to this is with my sister - no letter, but a couple of phone calls and a text established that she didn't accept my gender identity, we don't speak anymore.
    I guess I would just try to remember that even though the person who sent you the letter referred to "others" being upset or offended, they were really only speaking for themselves. 
    Xoxo
    Chrissy
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  5. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry Providing my local community classes on self defense   

    I wish I was close enough to take your class :-)
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  6. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry 4th July   

    Charlotte,
    Good luck with your efforts! Very worthwhile. Is it a 2 year wait for anything specific, or is that for any medical transitioning?
    That is a long wait - on the other hand, it seems like it's probably more available than it is in the US to many. I'm not trying to one-up you, just to say that it seems neither country is quite getting it right yet. 
    Chrissy
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  7. Chrissy added a blog entry in On Being...Me   

    NY Pride - reflections
    Hi all,
    It took me a little to figure out how to get my pics on here (apparently I can't do it on my phone, it has to be on a computer so that I can resize the pics).  Below are three pics - two of them show the top that I wore for Pride - they gave us the t-shirts for marching with NYU, I modified mine, cuz ya know, boobs. It worked out nicely since the "Y" in "NYU" is centered so that I could cut the V into the top of it. One of these also shows the Trans pride flag that I had for the march :-)
    The march itself was fun, except for the beginning. We met at our staging area at 3:30 p.m. and didn't step off until 5:30 - it gets really hard standing around one area for 2 hours! But it was a lot of fun marching with NYU (this is the only year that I could do it as a current student, I didn't want to miss that). We had a couple of hundred people show up for our contingent (apparently about 1000 signed up, not all showed up of course).
    I broke off at around 7:00 (we were a little more than 1/2 way done with the march). Pattaya (my friend who does drag, who used to let me guest perform at her shows all the time) was doing a show at Le Singe Vert that ended at 8, so I didn't want to miss it. The last picture is of the two of us :-)
    So overall a good experience - I probably won't march again though, I'll just watch, it's more fun :-)  But this was the first Pride that I could do as physically a complete woman, so marching seemed right :-)  It also helped me overcome some of the ambivalence I have over identifying as transgender. When it came down to it, I marched carrying a trans pride flag, so clearly I'm ok identifying as such.
    xoxo
    Chrissy



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  8. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry A Wonderful Experience   

    This is such a great, concise way of summing up the experience of transitioning. I've said a number of times to friends that the past couple of years have been the most amazing, and the most terrifying years of my life - and neither term adequately expresses the actual feelings behind them.
    I hope that the "I'll be fine" part continues to outweigh the "but..." part!
    Xoxo
    Chrissy
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  9. Chrissy added a post in a topic Victoria Secrets   

    I'd suspect that not many stores are trans-unfriendly by policy, it depends more on whether they specifically have non-discrimination policies and enforce them from store to store.
    I've been to a VS in Jersey City and had no issues - don't buy much there because of prices :-(
    I've never encountered any direct hostility at any clothing stores, which is nice. Mist of my shopping is @ Kohl's and Loft, both of which are totally friendly :-)
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  10. Chrissy added a topic in Member Recommended Resources   

    Dr. Kathy Rumer - GRS in Philadelphia
    Hi all,
    I've probably mentioned her in blog posts, but I thought I should do a post here under recommendations - particularly now that I'm 6 months past my own GRS (6 months!!!!).
    Anyway - I had my surgery done by Dr. Kathy Rumer in Philadelphia (her office is in Ardmore, PA, a suburb of Philly, she does the surgery at Hahnemann University Hospital). I don't know how long she's been doing this but clearly she is very experienced. She also recently started a transgender health fellowship at Hahnemann (the hospital is affiliated with Drexel University in Philly).
    With only a couple of issues, my experience with her and her staff has been really good. The most important part, the surgery, went without incident. Apparently it took about 3 hours in total (maybe less - it's hard to tell since it takes a couple of hours to reorient from being under that long). But it was quick, and the work is really good, I'm very happy with the appearance.
    They asked me before we started if they could contact anyone for me when it's done, so I gave them my brother's number and they did reach out to him right after the surgery was completed (I called a little while later, when I was reoriented). I think he actually thought it was Dr. Rumer who called him, he hasn't worked with surgeons so much :-)  It recently occurred to me that I've probably only been awake in a room with Dr. Rumer herself for about 15 minutes - 10 minutes the first time I went to her office, then maybe 5 minutes in the OR. Otherwise it's always been her staff.
    Tomorrow is my 6-month check-up, which will be the 4th since surgery (they happened at 1 week, 1 month, and 3 months - the 3 months one I just sent pics and we talked on the phone). I'll have one more at 1 year, then I assume others only if needed. The staff has been great every time - and I realized after the fact that I'm glad her entire staff is female. When you're actually in the chair getting checked, it's a pretty vulnerable, exposed feeling, so I feel better that it's women doing the checking (really only 1 woman doing the checking, but another in the room with us). I'm not sure how I'd feel about a man doing that.
    I mentioned earlier that I had just a couple of issues: (1) they lost my "reservation" for a hospitality room at their office (she has several rooms upstairs that are available for the first week after surgery). In November I found out that I didn't have a room.  On the plus side, the hotel was very near the hospital and they had a deal with the hospital, so I didn't spend much more than I would have with the hospitality room, and it was probably a nicer room (being at a hotel) which was important since I was pretty much stuck there for a solid week. The other issue was (2) the "bed" in the hospital, where I had to stay for 2 solid days after the surgery (no getting up at all) was a glorified cot - I didn't really feel much pain from surgery, but my butt was seriously hurting from the bed (I think most of my morphine use was to compensate for that). That one is on the hospital, and I did report it to Dr. Rumer's office.
    So that's my experience - one of the reasons I went with her was that she is under contract with Cigna, which was my insurance at the time. But I have been really happy with her and her staff overall. For one thing, in the many times I emailed in the first couple of months after surgery (when you're sure that every little tingling sensation is something horrible happening), they were very quick and very friendly in responding, including over the weekend.
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  11. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry My Name   

    Welcome to TGGuide! I look forward to hearing about your transition :-)
    Xoxo
    Chrissy
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  12. Chrissy added a blog entry in On Being...Me   

    NY Pride
    Hi all,
    Sunday is NY Pride, it will be my first as a physical woman!!!  Last year I was presenting full-time, but no surgeries yet. The year before was more of a gender-bending year.
    I'll post pics - I'm marching with NYU, so I have the shirt they gave us - I altered it to make it a v-neck, I wanted cleavage 😛
    Xoxo
    Chrissy
     
     
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  13. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry New Medication: Day 1   

    If it is a side effect that will go away hopefully it will taper over time so that you won't have to wait 2 weeks to see :-(
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  14. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry New Medication Plus School   

    Accusing you of lying was very unprofessional. I'm sorry that you had to experience that. Unfortunately psychiatrists are more medically trained so sometimes they aren't as good at actual therapy.
    I agree with Emma about speaking with the psychiatrist privately but realize that your age and guardianship status might make that impossible. If it's not possible then I just encourage you to remember that you will reach a point when you can act by yourself for yourself! It might seem far off, but it will happen.
    In the meantime at least you have some outlet for personal expression at school and you have this community here 😀
    Xoxo
    Chrissy
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  15. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry Therapy   

    I know you said you can't afford to change, and I don't know all of what your therapy involves, but if there is any way to make a change I would do it. Not respecting your gender and name is simply unacceptable. What kind of professional background does she have? I can't speak to other professions, but if she is a social worker she's violating professional ethics.
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  16. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry Introduction   

    Welcome to TGGuide! It sounds like you have some real challenges, I'm sure you'll find a lot of support here
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  17. Chrissy added a blog entry in On Being...Me   

    Socializing Steps
    Hi everyone,
    Since I took another step in socializing today, I thought I'd post something about that topic generally.
    Before coming out and transitioning, I had identified as a gay man. As such, my social life was largely built around the "gay community." I hadn't thought too much about that initially, since coming out and transitioning are pretty time-consuming for a while, and it was generally easier to do that while staying within a familiar social environment. But I knew it was going to have to change - although I admit to having some thoughts in the past about seeing it being Lesbian could work for me, I knew it wasn't right (I was leaning that way because (1) I have a little bi-sexual tendency, and (2) I thought it would be easier to meet a woman who would accept me as a woman in a romantic relationship than a straight man).
    Anyway - since I would like to date at some point, and even be in a relationship, I knew that I was going to have to break out of the LGBTQ "bubble" that I was in, and I have taken some steps. It helped that I did have a couple of straight female friends. And then of course I started school so I started meeting new people, many of them straight. Then, for after-school relaxation I started going to a little jazz bar in the Village.
    Today I took an even bigger step - at least in my head - I had joined a new tennis league (I had already belonged to an LGBT tennis group), and today I had my first match with someone from that group. I'm in a women's division, so initially that's who I'm going to meet, but that's a good starting place. It made me a little anxious since she had no way of knowing that I'm transgender going in, and not knowing how she might react. Well, she didn't. There was absolutely no awkwardness, it was great - and it was a really good tennis match (we had to play all 3 sets, and we were going point for point most of the way).
    There are still temptations to reach back and cling to the social world that I knew - but I have to give up some of that (not all of it, I'm not just ditching all of my friends!)
    xoxo
     
    Chrissy
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  18. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry Missed resources   

    When I did my legal name change last year I had a count of 50+ places that I had to make the update (then I stopped counting, it was too stressful), but you're right, it does keep coming up. I haven't even thought as much about who has records of my gender! (Aside from the obvious ones, drivers license, birth certificate, etc.).
    When I contacted North Carolina State Univ. (where I did my undergrad) to change my name they actually asked if I wanted to update my gender as well - it hadn't occurred to me that they would even have that, but it makes sense. I throw that story in partly to show that even in North Carolina not everyone is transphobic :-)  (Of course my sister lives there now, and she is transphobic, oh well)
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  19. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry Trying It All On For Size   

    That all sounds great :-)
    I can definitely relate to the fear and exhilaration- personally I didn't consider it to be a line between the two, I just saw it as both things happening at the same time. There is a lot to be excited about, and a lot to be afraid of - but overall living authentically is worth it all!!!
    What is Gender Odyssey?  I'm planning to go to the Trans Health Conference in Philadelphia again this year, this time on the professional track (since i'm a social work student it seemed right)
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  20. Chrissy added a blog entry in On Being...Me   

    "Wonder Woman"
    I cannot believe I haven't written about this yet!  Last Friday I saw "Wonder Woman," and it was truly amazing.
    There are things I could be critical of (the messaging in a few spots was a little heavy handed and the effects in a couple of areas a little cheesy), but overall I think it's a truly great movie (and I'm not really into superhero movies).
    I won't say much about the movie because I don't want to do any spoilers - but there were moments when I was moved to tears, and moments when I felt more like a woman than I ever had before. I don't know if I can explain what that second one is about, but it happened.
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  21. Chrissy added a blog entry in On Being...Me   

    Being "out" at school
    Hi all,
    On Saturday I had lunch with a friend from school - and then we hung out for a few hours. I know him well, we were at the same field placement during our first year and we share a love of Taco Bell :-)   A discussion we had along the way on Saturday was about being "out" in class. With me it's about my transgender identity, with him it's about being a military veteran. On the surface for both of us is a desire to not be "the ___ student" (me "the trans student"). For him that might really be it, for me I think it goes deeper, I think it's a real desire to maintain my identity as a woman and the fear that being open about being trans undermines that. Even deeper is that internally I still see being trans as somehow making me less of a woman.
    The result of all this was that during my entire first year I had never said anything about my gender identity in class. I had said things about it individually to other students, but never during class - and it is a social work program, so there were many, many opportunities where I could have - and should have - said something. We both agreed that not sharing is both bad for us individually (it's hiding something) and we miss the opportunity to add something to the educational process for others (leaving out a major part of our life perspectives).
    That changed on Tuesday. We did a quick in-class exercise where she gave us each a short scenario, something that was designed to generate a negative response (mine was that I had applied for an apartment, and although I was fully qualified and the only person who was applying for it, the landlord rejected me). My initial response was confusion and assuming that it was because of my gender identity. I had a minute or 2 to think of an alternative, but I didn't. So for the first time I openly acknowledged my gender identity in class :-)
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  22. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry Being "out" at school   

    I actually had more for my original post - but I was writing it at school and some other people came along so I decided to be social and cut the post off there.
    An observation I made later (after class) was that my initial thought ("I was rejected because I'm transgender") was paired with confusion. It seems like that's a move forward for me in that I think earlier it would have been hurt or anger that would have come up. And those would no doubt come up if this had really happened, but the initial response is confusion. I think that reflects that this has become a part of my identity that I'm more comfortable with, so my response when people reject it is to not understand why they would have a problem with it.
    As a quick follow-up - the professor in that class during the next session gave me contact information for a friend of hers who is prominent in the area of social work with LGBT individuals, particular dealing with trans issues. She's in Albany, so it's a little limited in terms of networking, but it is still a connection, and one that I probably wouldn't have made without coming out (I doubt any professor would risk suggesting that contact if I wasn't open about my gender identity)
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  23. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry Being "out" at school   

    I came across a quote today - it was the quote that Janet Mock got the name of her new book from:
    "And at last you'll know with surpassing certainty that only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth. And that is not speaking." Audre Lorde
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  24. Chrissy added a comment on a blog entry Charlotte Sometimes   

    Charlotte,
    That's a great start! And I like the detailed nature of your diary, it can help give others (me!) ideas :-)
    Emma - I use the Libra app (I have an Android) which does what you talk about as far as giving you a moving average for weight - it's definitely helpful!  Also use Myfitnesspal app to track calories.
    xoxo
    Chrissy
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  25. Chrissy added a blog entry in On Being...Me   

    Reflection on the past year
    Hi everyone,
    I recently finished my first year of school (I'm doing the 2-year MSW program at NYU) and decided that I needed a little get-away (emphasis on "little" - I don't really like traveling all that much, and can't afford much). So I decided on a day trip to the shore - my goal going into the day was to not think backwards or forward, just to try to be in the present. Of course, as I mentioned to a friend later, it was a little weird that I chose to go to a place that we used to go to all the time when I was a child if I didn't want to think backwards - but it still worked out.
    On the train ride down it occurred to me that through everything that's been going on in the past year I hadn't really taken any time to just reflect specifically on transitioning. It makes sense, I was in school  and recovery from GRS, while it wasn't ever particularly painful, is still distracting. But now, school is done for the year and the recovery is very well along - so I did reflect. In that moment I just felt really, really happy about all that had happened.
    But here's the bigger thing. Either that night or the next it was very warm - it got up to the 90s here and didn't cool off over night. Since I've been too lazy to put my a/c in and only had a fan, I ended up sleeping au naturel. With the lights out and a jazz radio station playing, I closed my eyes. Without really thinking about the fact that I was doing it, one hand came down from a stretch, landed on one of my breasts, and then down to my lower regions - nothing erotic going on, just a casual stroke if you will. But the sensation was wonderful! Again, not erotic, it was just that I actually felt a woman's body - my body was now a woman's body!
    Just wanted to share that :-)
    xoxo
    Chrissy
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