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General

Featured Entries

Transgender Bloggers Wanted: Share Your Journey

Create your own blog at TGGuide.com. It's FREE and you can start right now. Some people blog as a sort of journal to share our thoughts, feelings, experiences and insights. Others blog to express opinions on social and political issues. Others blog to share their knowledge and experience with others. Go ahead. Express yourself! Others may be grappling with issues you blog about and your words could provide useful insight or answers. Here are some blog topic ideas to get your creative juices f
  • Lori

The forms arrive with the snow

So my breasts arrived today. Well the breastforms. I ended up getting the 1800g Motawator Silicone Breast Forms as they fit the bras I have access to and they looked like they'd be a good size for my frame and they are really fantastic.I am a little worried that it looks like I have constantly erect nipples but I'm sure I can cover those later if I go out.  The weight is really good and while the water balloons I'd been using were ok, these are a lot better at giving me the feeling I was looking

Shaky morning.

Am having a really shaky morning.  It's hard when a friend has gone somewhere you can't follow.  I miss him so much already.  He was a beautiful person who readily opened the window for me to his part of the world and shared his culture and that soft Scottish brogue.  I felt better when Nikki was home, but alone it hits harder and there are no hugs.  Four more hours and I can get my hugs.  This really hurts.  And people saying internet friends shouldn't hurt this bad when they're gone piss me of

Mental Illnesses and Misunderstandings

I wanted to just vent a bit tonight if you do not mind. But I do want to add a "Trigger Warning" to those of you who are reading this. I will be adding these to my blog posts now, whenever I feel they are necessary. PLEASE do not hesitate to ask me to add them to posts that you feel need them. I know how important they are. TRIGGER WARNING: OCD, MPD, DID, Anxiety, Depression and Mental Illness   Mental Illnesses.....So drastically misunderstood by so many that it baffles your very soul to see ot

Update on Ren's Rampages

Wazzzzzzzzup!? I know, I know, it's been forever. I've been super busy here lately and havent gotten a ton of down time to do a blog post, I'm really sorry! Plus my darned computer keyboard is dying so typing for a long while gets very frustrating since about 5 keys dont work unless I beat the crap out of them lol Not too much to update on really. I'm boring like that  I've bitten the bullet and decided to finally go see a Chiropractor again and see if they could help out on my back pain. I've s

Sharing a kink and a few other thoughts

So while we were cleaning out the closet today so that Bri could hang up more of her clothes without my male clothes eating into her space and remove a lot of things and we went through some of her clothes since we're planning on sharing some of her clothes and mine.  Well that's when she mentioned her tights and if I wanted to try them as they were still too tight for her. I jumped at the chance. While dressing up in female mode I don't usually get physically excited, emotionally yes as I'm get

First post - Today, just rambling thoughts.

EmmaSweet suggested I start a blog, and I think she has a point.  And never ask people for advice if you're not willing to try it!  So here I am, sorting out a lot of changes in my life.  So today, it's time to tackle a joint issue we both share.  Hoarding.  We're not going to show up on a tv show or anything, it's not the dramatically bad.  However, it runs in my family on both sides.  My mother is a hoarder, and getting worse as she ages.  And my father's mother was nearly tv show ready except

and done...

Had started coming out a lil bit ago to a few people here a few there then to one job i knew would be supportive.  Slowly told some friends and then put it out publicly and just emailed my other job bosses to let them know so that they hopefully heard it from me first.  Now that that's done even though I am incredibly nervous about how it will all pan out i am happy that I have nothing to hide now.  No one to hide from.  Everybody knows ... if they judge me then that's not my problem.  I can exp
  • Luna

Wait for me

Wait for me Notions depraved want for your soul,every moment passes taking its toll.Remind me, I can not remember if it was lost or something they stole; Forgive me, forget me, do not weep.As I will only sink further drowning in the deep. With but a faint whisper, be quiet, be still. I just want to sleep.  There is only silence beyond the coldA throat that which sorrow took grasp, took  hold.  Cry out! Cry out! I can not breathe; Is there nothing I can do? nothing I can say? To implore you to ho

oh wait...

So i had this epiphany last night...  now keep in mind i have tried to convince myself for years i was male ... which led me to often date straight women.  Which meant they expected me to be a male.  That didnt work out in the long run.  So today i set up an account on some silly dating site that all my coworkers and friends recommend and gotta take some snazzy pictures which also means I'll put some up here.   However I can actually start dating women as a woman.  Might as well give it a shot.
  • Luna

...but this time...

This is basically part 2 of my previous entry about work issues. I totally agree with everyone who followed-up suggesting holding out until surgeries are done, I can't imagine starting a new job and then telling them I'm going to be out for X weeks, so better to do it now, which also lets me get more experience. The problem is that that's an "exit strategy," but it doesn't address how to cope on a daily basis with a job situation that I find basically humiliating.  I don't like the idea of tryin

Conversation at work today

To start off I take a break every hour at work, walk down three stories, head outside for a few minutes then back to work. Although we have three elevators many uses the stairs and with that I pass several people that I don't know (we have over 1,000 employees). This one lady stopped me several weeks ago whom I have never spoken to before were the conversation was everyday stuff. This morning she stopped me again and at one point said she never said anything before to me when I was male was beca

Depressed with HM Government

I like many others, some not even in the UK, face changes of responsibility, although in my case not of demotion. Public sector employment in the UK is being decimated by the Conservative (tory) government, they are giving public service jobs to their private contractor mates, so far my job hasn't been privatised, but the implication of privatisation is that I have less to look after, due to whole sections leaving local government employment, thus making the Council that I work for smaller.  I'm

It's happening again...

I could almost think it's something about me, but it's not. In my previous position with the school I provided administrative support to the Law Review (a student publication).  Under the original faculty publisher I had a lot of responsibility, and it grew over time.  Then a new faculty publisher came in and suddenly I found my position gradually (though not slowly) being diminished.  She never bothered to even learn what I did and started giving the students more and more responsibility which

Coming out

So one beautiful thing about being openly female is all the ways i get to express myself.  The really amazing thing is shifting from fear of "omg what if they find out" to "omg they are okay with this... omg its gonna be okay."  I know that this is  not everyone's experience and it breaks my heart.  I know  I am super privilaged to live and work in western mass USA where lgbtq respect is one of the best in the country.  I just am so grateful that this is not just where  I came to but also where
  • Luna

My Secret Surgery

I am having chest surgery in four weeks. I am super excited, and a little terrified. Nobody in my family knows. They're not supportive, and I don't want any passive-aggressive comments to bring me down. I'm sad that I feel I can't share this milestone with them.

New Buisness Cards

So i just got word today that my boss is changing my email and buisness cards to reflect my preffered name.  I am really excited and very grateful for this.  My work has been incredibly supportive during my transistion so far and I cannot thank them enough.  I am really excited to see a card with the name Luna on it in the near future.  To me having my name reflect me is both a sign of respect to my needs as well as very kind and understanding.  I am really psyched and I just wanted to share.
  • Luna

Gender Dysphoria - a year later (almost)

It's been almost a year since I first openly acknowledged to myself, and then my therapist, that I am transgender (it was sometime in February).  That got me to thinking last night about gender dysphoria. Early on I had read many accounts of people's experiences with GD, and I was having a hard time relating - most included comments about "knowing from early childhood that I was a girl trapped in a boy's body," etc., and I didn't really have those memories (I also recognized that at 48 years old

I should not feel the way I feel

"You're too sensitive." I've heard that so many times in my life. Worse, I believe it.  I should not be hurt by rude people at work. I seem to be the only one who gets hurt. So no, I shouldn't be affected. I should not like how I feel when I wear my dresses. After all, it's just cloth. A fabric of threads. And I'm not supposed to like them. I should not be scared. Scared that people will discover how scared I am. Of being hurt.  I should not even write this here. After all, I'm a mod; mods don't
  • Emma

Things that make me smile

Things that make me smile… Seeing the leaves appearing on the trees in spring. Watching winter give way to spring always makes me happy. The leaves are bright and vibrant and fresh. It seems that, suddenly, everywhere appears to be more alive. People smile more and I guess it’s because they are more hopeful and filled with expectation now that the darkness and cold of winter is becoming a memory. Blue sky. Don’t get me wrong, I love clouds (I’m even a paid-up member of the Cloud Appreciation S
  • JayM

Anxiety, Doubt, Friend problems and Dysphoria

I havent blogged in a little bit...Mostly due to being sick, really. I took on several extra shifts for my boss because she came down with a flu-like sickness (which is sadly going around.) and now it seems like I got it. Thankfully it's gotten better over the past few days with some help from bedrest and Ginger Ale. And of course, binge watching Supernatural. Almost 2 seasons in the course of 3 days   But with the new year starting out and my new insurance starting in Feburary, on comes a new(e

Top Surgery

On February 8 I have an appointment with a surgeon to discuss top surgery  I'd have to wait until August for insurance to cover, but I wanted to start seeing what's involved.  He's in Albany, but that's not too far and he's in-Network for insurance.   Unrelated - today in Jersey City  

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