Rough week.
So last week sucked, lost our Yuriko. The day of her vet appointment she was having seizure after seizure and we knew we were definitely taking her to the Final Visit, no hail mary last minute outs for my little kitty girl. The offspring met us at the vet's to say goodbye and be with her as she went. Horribly painful thing to do, but watching her the way she was was worse. Nikki has been incredibly down and not much I do can help until time does it's work here.
Talked with Nikki about my stresses about going back to housewife, and he calmed my freakout that he secretly hated me and the lifestyle changes we have to make to support it. A lot of them will actually be supportive of getting healthier in general, so he's perfectly happy with it and having access to me at all times he's not at work. I believe he's lookiing forward to having full weekends with me again instead of just one day a week where he has to get up early the next day so sleeps part of it away.
I'm getting excited as the appointment for the antidepressants gets closer. I have no firm expectations, but there is a hope that my happy bouncy Nikki will come back a little bit. Depression can be contagious, and I'm working hard to keep my own self internally healthy so that we don't have two big Depression issues going on at the same time.
Things between us are almost back to where they used to be. I have adjusted to the changes in our life, and the only thing standing in the way now is his depression. Oh, the corset is on the chair. I think I'm about to be squeezed into his corset, he wants to see what it dose for my hernia if it's better support for the hernia than the girdles. Obviously if it is good and works, I will pretty much only be doing that when he's going to be home to both get me in and get me out. I am aware that people DO manage to get into and out of these things alone, however, I also know I am inherently clumsy with hand-brain issues and I can't even tie a simple bow behind my back for my jumper dress, let alone pull and tie a corset on.
Relief, no, my turn in that thing is soon but not today, as I already expressed some abdominal irritation to him. It's going on him. Isn't that silly that I'm scared of corsets? I think I still have a Victorian crazy image in my subconscious that I'll be laced in so tight I can't breath, and I know rationally Nikki would never do that, but rooting out subconscious stuff isn't a simple thing. I might have agreed to let him order me a decorative one for intimate use like an idiot, but he tries to make all my wishes happen, so I can wear one for that without fainting for him. I'm not entirely convinced the second surgery, when I decide it's a good time to have, is going to completely fix my issue so supportive garments are probably going to be a lifelong choice.
Excuse me, I have to go assure my dog the mailman STILL is not here to murder us all and she can stop barking now please.
Wouldn't I be surprised if he ever did?
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