On again/off again- In and OUT
By Jessicatoyou
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The next several, haha, fifty plus years, were rather routine and uneventful. My female identity surfaced again at college, and I enjoyed sleeping in lingerie. That lasted a while until I graduated, got a job and married and divorced. That was a tough relationship; can honestly say I don't believe that had any thing to do with my female tendency. Put that on hold again until the very end. I think I rationalized that I was born cisgender male and proceeded to work to succeed in my biologically given role. Off again until I travelled for work and got a small wardrobe just the basics, for when I stayed overnight in Hotels. Only went out dressed rarely and always at night so as night to be seen. Still loved the feeling and freedom of it, but still didn't commit due to my perceived lack of professional opportunities for woman at the time. Only half a dozen times more during those years on again, off again, on again, off again. Always purged my female possessions, each time telling myself this is crazy! But I always came back to being me, the girl, the woman. If I could have earned the same income as a woman back then, I would have transitioned much earlier without a doubt! Today, things are changing rapidly. As more people transition, acceptance is increasing although far from where it needs to be! I can actually imagine sometime in the future, although not in my lifetime, gender choice being a routine part of adolescence. Employment appears to be more open too. I don't need much income anymore although I will need some, and am in the final stages of phasing out my business . Well that brings me to now and I'm on again for over a year and I don't believe I will ever go off again. As I step out, too I don't think I'll ever stay in again either!
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