Non-binary option
Just an update on how things are going, it's been so long since I've been online here! I've been working through that book by Dara Hofmann-Fox, and it's been super helpful. It's gotten me to start exploring non-binary options, which may be a good place for me to be on the gender spectrum. I've been going out dressed as me a bit. Went to a coffee shop for the first time ever to meet up with a trans friend, and we both brought our spouses. It felt so good to be myself in public! But pretty nerve wrecking. It was wonderful to finally meet another trans person in real life. We had a good time chatting about our own issues and everything else. A few weeks later we went out to dinner in the same style. Funny thing is that both times I did not feel like wearing my breast forms, so I went without. To me that's an indication that maybe I'm not on the far female side of the spectrum. In the mean time though, I have nothing male left in my wardrobe, all my clothes were purchased in the women's section, but still it allows for a look that's not super feminine. I'm liking it, somewhere in the middle.
Right now I have some house guests for a few weeks, with their kids. And although they are super supportive, I still have less chance of expression like I usually do. It's forcing me to take a break though, which is not bad in itself because now I'm taking a step back and I can do a little observation and reflection. It's taken me to the point to try and stop taking estrogen, but stay on the testosterone blocker. My doc was supportive of this, as I'm exploring non-binary stuff. I'm only two weeks in, and I can't say that I feel any different. Unfortunately just after I stopped taking the pills I got rather sick (not-covid, just a stomach bug), so I still don't know if there were any changes in my mood in the beginning.
I really wonder how this will develop in the future. My journey started in 2019, and I was on the female side of the spectrum for a good year and a half, before things started to change somewhat and I started shifting more to the middle. Wonder where I'll be a year from now. The journey continues.
Otherwise there's nothing really new. The new house is still keeping us busy every minute, and if it doesn't then the kids keep us occupied.
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