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I agree with you completely, Michael. I can't imagine a therapist today suggesting Warren's going through a phase, but if that happens, he needs to get the heck out of there and find a new one. Emma

If you express to a therapist how long you have felt like you belong in the boys camp, and s/he tries to suggest, at your age (and before s/he even gets to know you a little), that it is just a phase, I would say that therapist is a left-over from the old school, and that you need to find another one. No doubt going to a therapist for the first time is scarey. Or at least enough to make one slightly nervous, but I think you are anticipating a nightmare where there is no reason to believe there will be one. You've named every reason in the world to keep that appointment. -Michael

I've had my fair share of nervous smiles, glares, stares, frowns, and gasps of exasperation or indignation. I've endured the indiscernible twitterings of which I am the topic, obvious by the unapproving sideways glances in my direction. I've watched some step back in horror as we meet in the doorway. It's clear in that fleeting moment that they believe one of us is entering or leaving the wrong place. I love those incidents... funnier than hell... I came out of a multi-stall bathroom once (I was the only one in there at the time), only to find a woman waiting outside. She briefly made eye contact then breezed past me and into the bathroom as I cleared the doorway. Interaction between this woman, her companion and the wait staff indicated she was a regular, so she knew the bathroom had several stalls, and the main door did not have a lock on it. So I wondered, why was she waiting for me to come out of the bathroom before she went in? Quite often, the bathroom is the last stop before I walk out my door in hopes that I will not have to pee again before returning home. I look for single-use restrooms. If there are none, I note the times when the bathrooms appear to be less likely crammed with women, and I will go to a stall that is as far back as possible. Or I will go to a bathroom that is somewhat out of the way - the ones that no one wants to walk so far to. When travelling alone... because my STP is "always ready," I usually just find an out of the way place to pull over, and water the grass.

Dear Michael, I, for one, refuse to attend the MichFest. It is another sad example of people who were victimized by the predominant culture, only, to turn around and, instead of helping those behind them, trash them. There are other Lesbian organizations who also exhibit transphobia, and I rejoice that the leading TLGB organizations are calling them on it. Not that long ago, because I was one of the few Lesbians working for a TLGB Hotline (the Lesbian hotline failed due to lack of interest in the Lesbian community), I was the victim of a hate campaign by the local Lesbian community. I followed my mother's advice, may God rest her soul, "be kind and civil to everyone, but choose your friends carefully." I thank the Gaymale and Transgender community for being there for me and being my friend. Yours truly, Monica

OR....Hear me out, We could just have a big anti-Gender binary Music festival.

I have been struggling with the bathroom issue as well. At work, I have no problem using the mens room. I feel safe and comfortable there. But I haven't been able to use a public mens room yet. I make sure I use my bathroom before I head out for dinner or any other activity and I try to monitor what i drink so the urge to pee never gets urgent enough to HAVE to go. My trans buddies say I should do it. Use the mens room. It is so scary though. I know one day I will have to actually go into a public mens room. Just not any day soon.