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So where do I start? So many things have changed for me the last few months. So 3 weeks ago I came out to my massage therapist. She was so cool about. She ask lots of good questions and was over all very interested in it all. That was all cool in and of it self, but when I saw her the next time she talk to me as if we were girlfriends, I felt so accepted as a woman. It was fabulous. Then later that week I was having my second laser hair removal on my face, The woman who did the treatment I'd come out to her the first treatment. So when the treatment was over we were chatting, I commented on the necklace she had on how pretty it was. She asked if I wanted to try it on.When I put it on she said looks good on you keep it, it yours. Then yesterday I had my makeup done for the first time. Okay let me clarify I had my makeup done lots and lots of times. But that had always been when I thought I was a crossdresser. Yesterday was the first time I ever had my makeup done as women, meaning thinking of myself as woman. You may not think that's a big deal, but it was, to me at least. I always loved getting my makeup done. But yesterday it felt so much better.(I didn't have the feeling in the back of my head WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!?) It was wonderful. So the big that's changed for me, is how a feel. 1) that I have come to terms with the fact I am a transgender woman. 2) that gilt, and shame are a lot less, I no longer think I'm some sort of sick pervert. I am just a woman, doing things that women do. There a part of me that want to just come out and say this is me take it or leave it, if you don't want to be my friend any more, that's cool. I still need to be who I'm, if you change your mind you know where to find me. Hugs, DawnLynn

Agreed. A complete transition will probably take 5 years or so beyond surgery. There will still be issues that need to be worked out. In my own experience, they are easier to handle than the raging conflict pre-transition but everyone will be a bit different. It sounds like you are on the right track and we're always here if you need us.

I was on Facebook tonight where I mentioned taking my new laptop to California with me. I have about 146 friends where about 8 know what's going on. Well my brother's old girlfriend from back from a few years after graduating from High School back in Pennsylvania saw my post and said "we should hook up". So I wrote her a private message explaining what was going on, she still wants to meet Those were interesting times back then, she was dating my brother and I was dating her best friend. We spent many nights together with close smoking buddies at her house were her parents were fine with that. I would classify her as a hippy at heart and still that way from what I can tell, married with children living in San Francisco which as fate has it is where I will be for surgery. My 92 year old mother and her still exchange Christmas cards every year.

Sounds great! I'm still friends with my brother's ex. We visited recently and picked up where we left off 25 years ago. My transition was a minor topic of discussion. We were just happy to see each other again.

Sounds great, Karen. Something else to look forward to!

At my last therapist appointment, she learned that the printer was out of ink and would mail my letter out. She also mailed a copy down to Marci Bower, which I am grateful. I would have been okay if I never read the letter but just the same happy to read her assessment and fully agree with her assessment. Reading “This client is an attractive, bright 57-year old transsexual woman” made me smile. Sometime ago we discussed continual appointments after surgery. She had mentioned that some never come back after they get their letter. My thought is that anyone who goes through a life-changing event no matter how mentally stable they are needs to keep an open mind and continue their visits with their therapist. I made an appointment for 6 weeks after surgery and if all goes fine I will still make follow up appointments say three months out then assess how I am doing plus her assessment. I have read posts on the web from people who are post-op that they become depressed, unhappy or uneasy. My thoughts at this time, not me but you never know. I hope that others who follow the same path I am will take this to heart that we need support and do not take it upon themselves to say “I will get through this by myself”.

As Christmas gets closer it looks like I will not be spending time with any friends but will visit a friend on Christmas Eve. Why mention this? Because I am sure, there are many out there that may very well be depressed and that need not be. My decision is too keep busy so my plans are to a) setup my new laptop, which is scheduled for delivery tomorrow morning (I will turn it on tomorrow to make sure it functions) via two-day business delivery, have been tracking it, and is on time. b. Comcast is setting up XFINITY Entertainment package tomorrow, which will take time to setup c) play my favorite music that is uplifting while writing a technical article for Microsoft d) prepare a great meal for dinner e) chat with friends via phone to have interaction with others. Bottom line, I will be a happy girl. Side note, I upgraded my Comcast as my current DVR has limited space in that while in California it will get filled up before I get back so the new DVR has more space along with it can record 4 shows at once rather than the current one, 2 shows at once. It is costing me less than my current plan which is really a bonus. Happy Holidays to everyone :D

I completely echo Lisa's sentiment and commitment, Karen. Have a very Merry Christmas. Emma

Happy Holidays Karen :)

I just started a new blog on word press but can not paste the site address in from my new Windows 8 laptop so I will need to figure out how too

Hahaha! You and me, sister, we're sticking it out here on TG Guide! That's so weird, the problem with copy/paste. Seems to work fine for me, either with iPad or iMac. It's just ASCII text so it should be fine of course with anything. I'm glad you returned that laptop although I can't imagine what's going on with it. Best of luck to you, finding a decent Windows machine these days. Cheap, yes, but Windows is no fun. :-) Emma

First off I started the other blog because I could not copy-n-paste into this site. Thought I could provide the link to WordPress but that failed too. Soooo long story short I returned the laptop and got my money back. In regards to leaving here, not way, not how sister :-) was not even a remote thought. Well it's back to the drawing board for ways to communicate here while in California. Psst: Windows does support copy and paste but for some odd reason does not for this site along, tried it on several others, they all worked just fine. Psssssst: Did I mention the mouse was locking up, that was the final straw.

What a hassle that Windows 8 won't even support a ctrl-c (copy) and ctrl-v (paste) operation? I don't understand that at all. I suppose at worst case you could just type in your new blog's URL. Although I have to say: does this mean you'll no longer being hanging out here much? I suppose that's to be expected?

One can only come to terms with then self when one say this is Me and I am Myself.

Hi Dawn, My story parallels yours very closely. I had plenty of girlfriends growing up and in college but always knew I was hiding a powerful inner secret that had to remain hidden. So, while I loved them and enjoyed being with them I was unable to really be my self and despite their best efforts I would grow resentful and depressed, and break it off. I do wish I was born female, and have wished this since I was about three years old. And I'm coming to terms these days with my desires but uncertain about "what I really am." It's a tough place to be, isn't it? Anyway, thank you for writing your blog post and hope to see you writing more. Best, Emma