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Like the title of one of my favorite songs, "I'm Still Here" I havent forgotten anyone, and I havent fallen off the face of the planet either! This month has been rather hectic for me, in truth. December begs to be a difficult time for everyone, naturally, since everyone has SOMETHING going on for the holidays, no matter how much of a hermit you plead to be. For me this year, I was blessed with the company of my little sister for the month. For me, it's a huge thing, and I were doing my absolute best to make the most of every day. As her visit is slowly coming to a close (she leaves the 17th poo) things are starting to calm down a little, and I have unusually woken up rather early today. So why not post a quick blog?? We went to the movies, went out to dinner several times, shopping, etc. Spoiled her rotten, I dare say! As for my own personal moments, there havent been too many worth noting, to be honest. I cut my hair even shorter, and by god to I love it!! It's so much more comfortable and....well...me! I style it how I want it, and I've never been happier with...well my face I guess! XD Though I've noticed changes. Not in me, in particular, but those around me. The strangers that pass me by as I shop with my sister or boyfriend. The glances that repeat and the glares that persist. I thought the bathroom issues were troublesome before, boy I had no idea how easy it was back then. Now that I'm convincing the world of my manliness....bathroom situations have gotten that much more awkward. Of course I still cannot venture into the men's room as of yet. But the glares I get in the womens room....yikes. One woman went as far as to glare at me and mumble "f***ing f**s" I guess she wasnt wrong, really. As a Bisexual Transgender, in one way or another I guess I am a f**. I dont take that as insulting, because it sort of is the truth. I dont mind But the tone and choice of muttering is what got to me, really. I brushed it off and like any other day, just pretended I was the only one who’d notice my unusual awesomeness. I cant remember if I told you all about my experience with buying alcohol…..Either way, here’s a recap. A few months ago, I had gone in to buy a 6pack of my favorite Blood Orange from Mike’s Hard. Delicious, but seasonal, which is unfortunate. But anyway, I wanted to get some as it is seasonal and wouldn’t be out for very long. ANYWAY, I went up to the register and attempted to buy it, and so came the ‘carding’. But she wouldn’t accept my I.D. So she called in her manager, who also would not accept my I.D. because it “simply is not your I.D.” So…they called the cops too. An officer came, looked at my I.D. and shook his head. He said he could see ‘some’ resemblance but was yet convinced, so he asked for me to show to other forms of I.D. So after handing over my S.S. card and my library card, along with my work/campus I.D., he finally let me off the hook and I left with booze in hand. But with the recommendation that I get the photo on my I.D. changed as soon as I could. Especially in case I were to get pulled over for something! So….I DID!! It took a little convincing and again, I had to hand over other forms of I.D. to prove that it was my own. Which in a way made me feel good because my transition is convincing! I’ll add the photo soon On New Years I had a bit of a falling out with my boyfriend, which I sort of expected to happen anyway since things had begun to get so rough. In the moment when neither of us wanted to walk away, he finally stood up and demanded I stay and that we work this out, convinced that he’d be alone for the rest of his life if I left because he didn’t want anyone else. Honestly I cried so hard that my head hurt for three days afterwards, but we worked it out. Dare I say, and knock on wood, but our relationship has been better than ever since. We agreed that we’d talk about whatever is going on at the end of every single month, because we both have the habit of bottling up our emotions and keeping quiet until we explode. So hopefully, in that department, I’m better than ever As another plus, I went to the bank to cash in my unemployment check (laid off from Dec 19th till Jan 19th, and I get a whole whopping 48$ a week jeez, thanks.) and the woman had to actually stop and ask “Are you Justin or Kristy?” I wanted to hug her for even asking! It felt silly, but awesome. Even Justin chuckled at it, because he knew it made me happy to have my gender questioned. Then when trying on new pants at walmart, the woman assumed of my gender role and automatically sent me to the men’s dressing room instead of the women’s. It’s tiny little things like that, that make my day complete. It’s awesome, and though it seems silly to some people…it makes me a lot happier. I’m officially OFF the self-harm-watch-list by my therapist (Was one month cut-free up until a week ago, which was due to an imbalance of my medications. Noted: Don’t take Lexapro at the same time as Levothyroxin. They counterbalance eachother!) but I stopped just a little ways into the act and turned to using markers instead. I’ll show you the picture for that too, don’t worry. BUT I think I have dragged into this blog long enough, and I’ve music to go download and exercise to get back to. From 230pnds down to 211! I’m getting there! Best of love and hugs and all that lovey gooey mushy stuff, Warren

Star date August 2014 So, I had my second trip out and about this weekend. We reprised our trip to the same trans friendly gay club/bar we went to last time as we both felt comfortable there and really enjoyed the vibe, the crowd and the venue. The weather has been a bit iffy so instead of the sleeveless cocktail dress I was going to wear I went with floral jeggings, a nude shoulder blouse and my closed high heels (first time I have worn closed heels for any length of time). I accessorized with some floral jewellery and a flower hair clip (it WAS a spring party and I felt the need to make an effort). We forgot to draw cash on Saturday morning, so on the way to the club we stopped at our local service station and I drew some cash from the ATM. Stepping out of the car in full sight of people who may or may not be sympathetic was a bit of a thing, but I felt I had to do it. It was all very new and a little nerve wracking. Especially when a car pulled up right behind me and the two guys didn’t get out but watched me going about my business. I got my cash, stuffed it into my bag and made a beeline for the car. We went to the club and danced, chatted, caught up and met some new people, had a drink, all the usual stuff. I was in a very festive mood and danced more than usual. It was a lot of fun and I was far more relaxed than the first time out. I realised that sandals are far easier to dance in than closed shoes but I didn’t let that minor detail get in my way. What a lot of fun! Then a very unexpected (well for naive little me anyway) thing happened. My wife said that she had overheard some of the men at the bar discussing me. I said she must have been mistaken. Anyway some time later one of the men wandered over from the bar and put a drink down in front of me and then put his hand on my back, asking if I wanted it. He rubbed my back in a friendly sort of way. I was so surprised! I mean intellectually I knew this could happen but I didn’t expect it to happen to me. Anyway I was literally speechless (which is rare for me). Fortunately one of the other girls came to my rescue and engaged him in conversation while I did my deer in the headlights impersonation (please note this is not the most effective way of dealing with these situations). He lost interest and left. I feel bad but it was just so unexpected (and ever so slightly flattering and disquieting all at the same time). So I have resolved to practice some polite, humorous but firm put downs just in case I need these in future. I kind of thought having my wife around as ‘bouncer’ would be sufficient deterrent but it seems I was wrong. Fortunately my wife was ok with it all and found it somewhat amusing. We met some lovely new people, had a nice conversation about shopping and stuff and then and then we left a little later. I was on a natural high and therefore asked my wife to drive us a round for a bit whilst we chatted. Sadly it seems the South African Police Services ‘Tranny Intelligence Division’ seem to be getting more on the ball as we saw a police roadblock in the distance. My wife diverted down some side roads and we got home without incident. I am still not ready to face a police officer and explain the situation to him or her. What a lovely night out.

New pics in my gallery ;)

Welcome back Warren! We've missed you. I'm glad to hear you had such a busy and positive month, and I love your new photo. You rock, kiddo. Keep your chin up and talking to your BF. Regarding lovey, gooey, mushy stuff: back at ya, double. Emma

Hey Warren! Glad to see you around. Yeah, December can sure get crazy-busy, but I'm glad you got to spend so much quality time with your sister. And things are looking better with your BF, and you got those awesome moments... sounds like a good month! And congratulations on the weight loss! I should be exercising right now, too, but instead I'm here! :D

I think I tend to agree with Emma and Michael on this one.

Truthfully, I've never understood this business of "reclaiming" something. It was never "ours" to begin with. In order to reclaim something, it had to have been yours from the start, then it was taken away. Instead, it (and all other slurs) belonged to the people who intended to hurt with such terms. For all those who prefer to use derrogatory terms and slurs in an effort to take the air out of the sails of those who mean them in a hurtful way... more power to ya's. I really don't think the people who mean it in a hurtful way give a good flip about any group allegedly "reclaiming" a word. The people who don't like any person belonging to any particular group are going to continue to use those terms whenever they want or feel they can get away with it. Personally, I don't believe any person belonging to any group should sink to using the very terms that others intend as demeaning, devaluing, discrediting and dehumanizing. But that's just my opinion. -Michael

You guys and your cars... Hair is kinda a big deal, isn't it? Although I'm still closeted, I made a decision a couple of years back that I wasn't going to keep cutting my hair like society insisted, and I've let it grow out. Right now it's about halfway down my back and I LOVE IT! <3 I'm not sure work is terribly happy with it, but at least they haven't called me on the carpet yet. And my parents hate it, but what do you expect? Anyway, I'm glad you were able to get it resolved to your satisfaction! Congrats on the no cutting! I hope things level out for you... we're all pulling for you! And I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have, but I will admit I LOL'ed at the "holidays were great, oh yeah, nearly burned down the house but otherwise they were great!" Glad everything turned out OK and no one was hurt and you could laugh about it after! I hope your holidays were good, and you are enjoying the time with your sister! -Sara