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Hi Warren, Like UsernameOptional (Mike) advises, bang on your keyboard writing your blog and other things. Of course it won't fix it for you but it may help you emotionally. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way and wish I could offer more. Did your therapist give you an emergency number to call if you have a crisis? Perhaps that would be good to do. Or, what about the Transgender Suicide number? I'm not sure if it's only good for US residents. Okay, maybe you're not suicidal (I hope not) but you sound very very upset and need someone to talk to. I hope you feel better soon. Regardless, keep writing. Don't worry about what you're writing, just keep it coming. Hugs, Emma

Everybody has their own story to tell, and you never know when your story will be the one that makes a profound difference in the life of someone searching for answers.

Veronica, thank you for your comment. I don't know what to think. But I know how I feel. I love him very much! He is my baby. He had a problem talking as well. We prayed that he would talk and now he won't stop. It's so funny. My wife sometimes wants him to shut the hell up and I remind her that her prayers were answered! Lol! --Lisa

Hope it's a nominal event and you heal up quick ! Will be thinking of you. Fair winds as you go ! Veronica.

Hey Lisa, I was wondering if you'd be posting again soon. And I'm in luck this morning to see this! I also have tried to control so many things in my life, mostly by analyzing and study - as if knowledge will do it. But as you and I well know at some point we have to trust our gut feel. Regarding your TS roadmap I wonder if you've visited Lynn Conway's website: http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/conway.html She's a remarkable woman in many ways and offers a lot of information about transition that is erudite and articulate. I'd be surprised if you don't find some nuggets of wisdom there to help you. I'm sorry about your father's passing and I know exactly what you mean about wishing for his advice. My father died 10 years ago this coming September and it's rare day that I don't think of something I wish we could talk about. Hugs, Emma