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Showing content with the highest reputation on 02/15/2015 in Blog Comments
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Unfortunately, there is no logical argument or scientific fact that can be used to substantiate how someone is trans* or goes through this. Thus, there must be acceptance without this. That is hard for a lot of people to do. Yet, if they do not accept us, and do not seek to understand us, we cannot dwell on that.3 points
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Lisa, thank you for sharing this. It does sound like you are dealing with a lot right now. Have you looked into resources specifically for transitioning in your area as far as counseling, therapy, support,etc? I don't know much about your therapist, but is the person experienced with people thinking about transitioning or who have begun the journey? In my city there is an amazing center that offers all types of things from counseling, doctor referrals to legal. Maybe there is one in your area too. In the end, the only thing that matters is that you are happy. I don't want to come off as "preachy," but there is no reason to rush into transition. People transition at all stages of life. I recently read an article by a therapist who was counseling a woman who transitioned at 70+ yrs, so it will be there when you are ready. I want to wish you the best with whatever decision you make and for you to know that there is a lot of love and support out there. KM<32 points
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When of the things I learned early on when in sales about Bloomingdales was too always present angry/frustrated customers with a smile, sympathize with them. Currently as a moderator for one of the largest programmer forums at Microsoft for a language known as C# I deal with similar things and do the same in posting back to them. It is always better to not fight them but instead see their point and educate them. There will always be a small amount that never will see eye to eye but I think you and your mother have the right attitude and will be just fine. The sad thing is when a trans* person must contend with people in public, seldom we have the time to educate and must resort to different methods to walk away safely. I teach various forms of self-defense and always tell my students that the first thing is to ask yourself "Can I walk away from this" and combine this with "Should I had been there is the first place". I am the same way with were I elect to write about trans issues and if a site has bashers I think "should I really be here knowing full well there are those haters here?" So instead find places such as this site and similar sites to post information as I truly have better things to do then educate haters which may not sound like a good thing but life is too short for this. Any ways thanks for sharing your thoughts and wish you all the best in your life ahead.2 points
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I understand and respect people who don't believe in carrying a weapon but I like to be able to up the anty with a impact tool such as a specially made pen or flashlight. I would say a well trained person without tools/weapons and good de-escalation skills will be fine in most cases but there are times when that is not enough. If an average built man clobbers an average built female "game over" in most cases. And the nice thing here is we can (if you are in the right) use disparity of force in these situations. What I DO NOT believe is something to count on is OC or pepper-spray as this can go against you in many ways and many push OC and pepper-spray and don't get me started on tasers.1 point
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Karen, I would LOVE to take your class, as I don't believe in carrying any kind of weapons!1 point
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Don't let them scare you too much but look at things I wrote about and understand they do happen so knowing so ahead of time should make it easier.1 point
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Dear Lisa, Of course, you have not "put a lot" on me or anyone here. I felt what you wrote is very reasonable and understandable. I feel like I'm also new to this but here's my opinion. "Understanding" our trans-gender (intentional hyphen) is very personal. There is no objective test that I'm aware of. For whatever reason and that may not really matter, we don't feel "right." With the right therapists and support such as here and in groups we can explore ourselves further and figure it out. The unfortunate truth is that at bottom we have to be the ones to make our choices, such as where we are or need to be under the TG umbrella, living full or part time as a Transwoman, transition or not, etc. So, I think it's terrific that you had this epiphany. As hard as I know it can be to wrestle with these emotions and anxieties I am not sure there is another way. Maybe that's the bad news, if you will. The good news is that you have this awareness. You have reached out here and elsewhere. You are exploring yourself. You are courageously figuring out who you are. There is no wrong answer! That is a truth and a beauty that I think we must hold on to. However and wherever you go is perfect. I often wish I'd been born a girl and I still wish that. That said, though, I was not, and for me I'm thinking these days (and I may change!) that that's okay. If I can learn to be and accept myself for who I am, and depend less on what others think of me, maybe I'll be fine just the way I am. I do like pretty things and I know I'm much more emotional and feeling that stereotypical men. But that makes me, me. I'm not sure I made much sense here, but I hope so. Of courselves your journey may be much different than mine. I just wanted to show you that you are not alone. Be well, Lisa, and keep writing. Hugs, Emma1 point
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Karen, I have been reading your posts. And they are wonderful!! They scare me tremendously, but are wonderful! Thank you so much for sharing such personal information. -LIsa1 point
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Yes I am dealing with a lot. Today I solved the problem by shopping at Macy's and Victoria's Secrets :-)1 point
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Well you have had quite a shock to the system, physical and emotional. Sounds like your healing and dealing!!!! All the best wishes Karen. Thank You for telling us about your experience. Hugs Veronica1 point
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Thank you Karen. I hope to hear more from you about your post srs experiences:) KM1 point
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There are four that can be used but Marci skips the first one which is from my understanding very narrow in diameter and would guess it is only for those who have a small vagina. During my after surgery visit they showed me how to use the dilators and started with the middle one which went in 6.5 inches and was a tad sore. I then used the first one for a week then transitioned to the middle one which was painful so next time I used the small one for five minutes, not as bad but still hurt. Then after two days I was perfectly fine with the middle one. I am going to start the largest one sometime next week, it is very large in diameter and not looking forward to it but must be done if I ever want to be penetrated which I do want to experience but I am more into women so I am not so concerned. Bottom line is you must dilate three times a day for three months then two times a day till 12 months then thereafter once a day for the rest of my life.1 point
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I never had any issues with anesthesia. Was under for about 5 to 6 hours. I've had major surgery before and did take naps on that one too several years ago now that I think about it. Everyday is better than the day before so I am thinking all should be well soon. The important thing here is they say six weeks for a full recovery.1 point
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Excellent blog, I don't come across haters very often, but when I do, I must remember and quote your phrase, "I hope that you find peace and happiness in life. If you do, you won't feel the need to harm others or want them to feel bad about themselves." A real dinosaur killer!1 point
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I will fully transition after graduation. I understand that there are four dilators, increasing in size. This is kind of scaring me a little1 point