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today I'm actually trying to focus on what I have that I dont want or need anymore, and figuring out how to sell them for $ for my surgery. I've reached over 1k$ saved for my surgery, but thats a long way away from 8k lol so I'm working on that jewelry I talked about and sorting old figurines, and finally....THROWING AWAY ALL THAT MAKEUP!!!!

Pansexual P.S. If people on farcebook are gonna go all broke-brain at the possibility that a person might be bisexual... the heck with them. Why do they even need to know that you are, or might be, pansexual. Or for that matter... any sexuality. If none of them are attracted to you, and you are attracted to none of them, and there's no chance of any intimate relationships... it's none of their business.

Sounds as though the restrooms are pretty much the same as in the UK, mens are a lot worse than the ladies. But it reminds me of my very first shopping trip 3-4 years ago in a mall, I had to go to the loo for more than a pee, and largely due to my almost non-existant self confidence at that time, I darted into the first trap I came across. Anyway after doing what was needed, I found that there wasn't any toilet paper, my voice still isn't femme in my opinion, but it was a lot more male at that time, so I was petrified at the thought of there's a man in the ladies being shouted out and being accosted by security guards and police!, so no, I couldn't ask the trap next door for some toilet roll. Luckily I remembered that my wife had put 2 packs of paper honkeys in my handbag.........thank god for a womans experienced help! Cheers, Eve

Several years ago, I was watching one of those investigative-type news programs (20/20, for example). They had done a piece on bathrooms. Turns out, the most germ/bacteria-riddled area of the bathroom was the doorhandle/-knob on entry/exit door of the bathroom.

Dear Warren, Hearing from you often, as today, brings a smile to my face. I like your voice and your ideas. Like you, I accept and love all. I don't care about anyone's sexuality of gender. Recently, both of my therapists (yeah, I have two!) told me that they don't care for the term "transgender." I don't really know why and need to understand this better. I think we all want labels, as long as they are respectful, so we can communicate and understand each other. I'm told that younger people are coming up with all sorts of terms and word combinations for their gender feeling and expression. I wonder if the same thing is true for sexuality. I suspect that there is no perfect word for ones sexuality especially if it includes more than the opposite sex. Keep trying I say but then again don't stress over it. There are too many other things to worry about! Enjoy your vacation. Go have a tea or coffee, read a book, take a nap. You deserve it. Hugs, Emma

Well hopefully when I get my STP, I wont have to deal with those nasty toilets again XD which will be awesome lol Anything the STP cant handle, I'll just wait until I get home ROFL

Good question; they're often awful. I really wonder why so many men seem to take pleasure in making a mess. But I've heard that women's restrooms can be very gross as well.

I love it when there are discussions like this :-)

Veronica, I'm I may step in here... hopefully not barging in! I had some of this discussion with my gender therapist just last week. Here are her answers: 1. Absolutely, it's quite possible that a TG person will be perfectly content staying "in" their birth sex. She didn't have exact figures/percentages, but it's at least 50/50 that are happy without hormones or SRS. And some are happy only taking hormones, even if they could otherwise afford and medically handle SRS. 2. I suppose it depends if your breasts are the result of hormones (perhaps assisted with breast implants) or are only due to implants. The therapist reminded me of a transwoman in our support group who is only on hormones, lives full time as a woman, and that's where she's perfectly happy. My 2c, Emma

Karen "Now here is something I found interesting, she believes that transitioning is one of the most difficult paths a human take embark on. As we know many want to but do not because of monetary issues or physiological issues. Then there are some who manage to have GRS (Gender Reassignment Surgery) but in one way or another end up a failure which in some cases leads to death. I am fortunate to have many people help me along the way and it help that I had the mindset and the motivation to take the right path on my journey of life." Thank you for that very concise point. It begs I ask the question. maybe two First, are there or can there be people who are just "girly" between the ears, and can they muddle through the maelstrom of life and pass behind the veil with a smile on they're face? Second, and I beg pardon if my terminology is a little primitive. If I had a nice rack installed, what if that was the only thing that I FELT I needed to get me where I want to be? (I am working on my fitness. My waist matches what it was in my Junior year of High School and I weigh less ! Just got to condition my junk ! ) Does that make any sense? Again, thanks for helping me pick that out of the background of transition stuff that is churning around my brain. Your blog is fascinating. Veronica.

You go, Karen, but we knew that!

I'd add that I have said many times to my friends thaty being Trans is a hell of a lot more difficult than than being Lesbian, Bi or Gay, even if you don't take hormones or have breasts or don't want GRS, you have to live with two different identities. I found this to be ever increasingly difficult, you also look completely different from your CIS self, and others can notice it and make nasty comments etc. OK after a while on hormones your features do change to be more femme (or male as the case might be), but then you have to do something about beard growth (electrolysis in my case, and it hurts), also your voice needs to be different to your cis voice. You also need to acquire the confidence to be able to present in your Trans gender everyday, not just now and again, but every day and still be capable of doing nearly all of the things that you did in your cis gender, the list goes on and on. Some of us have a head start over others of us, when their cis gender and build is closely matched to their trans gender, (I had to really work at it, and it's still ongoing).......... So yes I agree with Karens doctor, it is in my opinion one of the hardest things that I could have done. Cheers Eve

I go NUTS in a dirty restroom!

Thanks Karen, I agree. Some say yes because it's easy, and allows them to shift their attention back to whatever they really want to focus on or do. Also, let's face it, it's very hard to say no, especially when the individual is in the midst of a crisis. But I believe that saying no teaches important life lessons.

I totally agree with you on this, too many people just say yes because it is easy to do so.

Hi Karen, Horrible thoughts, yes I had those, still get them at times but not about completion, more about oh my "God what am I doing" or "oh my God what have I done, I'll be an outcast / freak for the rest of my life, this is not reversible....." Strangely enough they occur whilst lying awake in bed. But I never give in to those thoughts, I have not appeared as male for over 3 months now, and I really do enjoy being "full-time" trans female. Thanks for the warnings about dilation, I have of course heard them from my friends over here, and I still can't wait to rid myself of my 'junk'. Please keep your blogs coming. Kind Regards, Eve

I think it's so nice that you and your wife are working so hard on your relationship and that she is working to understand and accept your gender identity. She must be an amazing woman:) Happy for you:)))

I kind of thought the same as Veronica. It's kind of cute pic, but nothing very sexy. I hope you are able to reassure her fears about it:)

Emma, I'm so happy for you! At some point, I hope to get my wife to go to therapy with me or one on one as well. It's good to hear that it helped you and your relationship with your wife. --Lisa