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"And even though I know it’s something I’m supposed to fully understand, I’ve yet to uncover that fine line between transGENDER and transSEXUAL." Transgender is simply a "catch-all" term that puts transsexuals, crossdressers, and anyone else with any kind of gender differences or non-conformity into one big happy family. A transsexual is anyone who who has "demonstrated at least two years of continuous interest in removing their sexual anatomy and transforming their bodies and social roles," and unless things have changed, such a diagnoses does not hinge on whether one transitions or not, or is able to or not. In other words, just because someone has transitioned to include genital surgery, does not make him/her transsexual, and you "only transgender." The two terms are not meant to differentiate between one who has transitioned and one who has not (or cannot). I think a good majority of the people here (not including crossdressers and those who identify as both male and female, or neither male or female - just to simplify things), have had feelings of being "in the wrong body," or have identified with the opposite gender from a very young age. That in and of itself, makes us transsexual. You are a transsexual member of the transgender community. "I don’t feel like answering questions about my sex life regarding my transgender “lifestyle”. That’s like me walking up to a complete stranger and going “Hey, hows it going? You have blonde hair, cool! That’s so fascinating! Tell me, how exactly do you **** your boy/girlfriend?" I've never thought of this before, but it came to mind reading this blog entry. This just might stop people in their tracks. The next time somone starts questioning you, tell them, "I'll tell you all about mine, if you tell me all about your." Might work. Perhaps it will shock them to the point of not knowing what to say, and maybe cause them to be embarassed, too. -Michael

Welcome to the forums Christie. Something that might be of interest when questioning yourself is looking at the chart below and perhaps find some clarity.

Hey Christie, my story mirrors yours except as it turned out my preschool friend was a boy who grew up into a gay man. He and I spent a lot of fun times playing with little characters, making up stories for them to be together, things that are more often ascribed to girls. Thank you for your blog post; I hope to keep hearing more from you! Emma

Best of Luck Karen ! :)

Hey Warren, As always, man, you rock. You bring a smile to my face. In fact, I'd say you're... Fascinating!!!! :-) Emma

Lauren Aquilina's song "King"

But of course :-)

Perhaps you will also suggest she check out and join our community!

Oh good, I'm glad you're reading it that way. I brought it to my first meeting with a gender therapist. She was very familiar with it and showed me where it originated in (I think I recall this correctly) Harry Benjamin's very famous and groundbreaking book. She advised that I approach it the way you are. About the on-line quizzes: they are fun in their way but, really, they are crap! We all would like simple answers but if there was a way to objectively identify one as transgender and/or their placement (as it were) under the TG umbrella I'm sure that we would find it in more professional venues. Indeed, my gender therapist who has over forty years experience with >2000 TG clients doesn't have such a thing! I wish she did, though... :-)

I agree, it's helpful but I know it won't resolve everything for me (as much as I love spreadsheets!). A quick reading of it suggests that I'm somewhere between Types III and IV - but a year ago I probably would have said I and II - so the evolution continues! I find something similar with the various on-line quizzes - none can or should be taken too seriously, but occasionally they'll throw in a question which in itself gives me something to think about.

I'd like to express some thoughts about the table Karen provided. Indeed, it's helpful in that it shows some of the range and variety of transgender people, as well as an introduction to some vocabulary and other aspects, such as sexuality. However, my impression (subject always to further learning!) is that, for example, it is quite possible that one may find dressing to be erotic and yet still be a transsexual who may or may not transition. This is an important point since some years back it was thought that if one did find dressing to be erotic then they must be a sort of fetishistic crossdresser. That had some logic (however flawed). So I suggest that the chart be used as a bridge or stepping stone in ones learning but not taken too literally.

Thanks!

Hi Christie, It's great to see your new blog; like everyone here, I encourage you to keep writing. It's wonderful to have new members! I'm also trying to figure out where I'll end up in my transgender journey, and also fairly shy about what I show to the outside world. A month ago when I attended a local (monthly) therapist-led transgender support group I wore a new pair of flats (black) that I'd ordered on Amazon. Woo hoo! They liked them fine, but I chickened out when, after the meeting, several of us went out for dinner. In the car, I changed my shoes. This Thursday is the next meeting and I intend to wear the flats again, and this time, wear them to dinner too. Also, I have a new rather androgynous long-sleeved top that I'm going to wear. Why not? I am what I am, which happens to be transgender. I'm a nice person and deserve to feel good about myself especially when out with friends. See you! Emma

Dear Michael, I, for one, refuse to attend the MichFest. It is another sad example of people who were victimized by the predominant culture, only, to turn around and, instead of helping those behind them, trash them. There are other Lesbian organizations who also exhibit transphobia, and I rejoice that the leading TLGB organizations are calling them on it. Not that long ago, because I was one of the few Lesbians working for a TLGB Hotline (the Lesbian hotline failed due to lack of interest in the Lesbian community), I was the victim of a hate campaign by the local Lesbian community. I followed my mother's advice, may God rest her soul, "be kind and civil to everyone, but choose your friends carefully." I thank the Gaymale and Transgender community for being there for me and being my friend. Yours truly, Monica