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I believe you have a good letter but do consider that some people want less information rather than volumes of information in the form of a letter. With that said some want to hear you speak the words and I have found it best to give them less information then in closing tell them "I am the same person inside" along with telling them you are open to questions. You know these people best so try and figure out if they will be content with volumes of information or want to ask you questions. Consider where you intend to come out and the current mood of that person or persons. With me a few stood on their religion beliefs which can be touchy if not conveyed well back to them your beliefs on transitioning. Even if you stay with the original letter get out some paper, write down questions that might be asked of you then answer them out loud in front of a mirror, work on your hand gestures and facial expressions so that you are comfortable with responses as this could be awkward. Best of luck with this endeavor!!!

Lisa, I think your letter is excellent, really. My only suggestion is to add a short paragraph between paragraphs one and two where you explain what gender dysphoria is. I think that is something we here all understand intuitively but for most others it's new language. Other than that, it's perfect. Best wishes, Emma

Monica, thank you for the feedback. My mind is starting to emerge from the confused fog that it has been these last few months. I am now starting to have moments or periods of clarity. Thank God. Because I thought I was going crazy there for awhile. It just took me some time to find those marbles that I lost and pop them back into my head again! Lol! I am so thankful for this forum and opportunity to blog. This was something that did not exist just a few years ago. And thank you for shepherding us. You have been a wonderful moderator! Love, Lisa

Lisa, Can't improve on it! Please, everyone, weigh in on this! Monica

Hi Lisa, I couldn't stay asleep and was looking around the web and found this informative post by a therapist that may help you. It's also an excellent blog on transgender mental health issues: http://tgmentalhealth.com/2009/12/26/thoughts-on-coming-out-as-transgender-to-family/ Emma

I think Karen's suggestion bears repeating. Also, note new questions as they come out to add to your database, and refine your answers. I also agree that for some, perhaps those who are very emotionally attached to you, it's all too easy to overwhelm them with information. "Transgender" and "transitioning" are very unfamiliar to most. Perhaps as Karen advised, it's better to be prepared with answers and allow them to ask whatever comes to mind. Emma

Monica, Thank you for your response - it is very helpful! I'm not sure I'm entirely there yet as far as accepting that I'm a heterosexual woman, but I am starting to believe that that's where this journey is going to end up. I just have 40 or so years of clutter to push out of the way. Or I guess it would be better just to leave the clutter and find a new home :-) I just created a profile on the website you recommended, I'll take a look around there too and see what comes up. xoxo Christie

Thank you all for your help! It will take me a little time to absorb.

Friends, PLEASE click on Emma's link . . . and the link of links, as well as videos! Be patient, a few of the links are broken, but, I promise you, the effort is well worth it! MUST READING/VIEWING FOR EVERYONE! Monica

Dear Christie, In my opinion, you are a heterosexual woman, and should be with either a cisgender or transman heterosexual man. Easier said than done. Just because you are a woman with a penis does not make you a Gaymale. May I suggest you take your time and find an understanding heterosexual man or transman. Feel an excellent resource is http://www.TGPersonals.com In your ad, mention that you are pre-op but identify as a heterosexual female. Read the other ads to get an idea what you want to put in or not put in your ad. Hope this helps. Yours truly, Monica

I am indeed going through the mind mill! It's something I do way too often :-) I agree with you as far as the present goes - I think perhaps for me the bigger question (which possibly can't be answered, but I was hoping it could) is whether the entire idea of being gay was something my teenage mind came up with in response to the feeling of being trans.

Emma, I know the feeling about shopping in the stores, I did at some point make it a personal challenge though and now it feels perfectly natural! The first few times I just bought, but then I started trying things on too. I love Kohl's, and started suspecting that their employees might be trained to not comment on what people are buying (which would be an excellent business practice). I'm probably going to pause at this point for a little bit - I need to let my post-taxes finances settle down a bit before I start spending again - and I work at a school which is about to enter final exams and summer break, so my wardrobe will go more casual anyway, which means I can incorporate some clothes that I already have and then get my "business wardrobe" together over the summer. xoxo Christie

Hi Christie, I really hope things turn out well for you, a good dress sense is invaluable for workplace acceptance, I went for the classic business woman look such as protrayed in 1960's films, perhaps I could have played alongside C Grant etc..............LoL :-). Anyway it works really well. Yes, one step at a time is a good way to continue your journey, after a while you'll likely see your destination................. Cheers, Eve

Hi Christie, I really like on-line shopping at Amazon, especially with Amazon Prime. They ship for free to a local 7-11 store so I don't have to worry or be at home when the package arrives, and returns are super easy to do, also with free shipping. I know what you mean about the sizes. Last week I ordered a skirt from REI, and after very seriously studying the size guide, I selected XL. Well, it arrived and it was way too big! It's a tent! So then, I ordered three skirts from Amazon, two of them L and one L/XL. The two L's were still too big, but the L/XL fits perfectly, so that's the one I'm keeping of course. I'm s chicken when it comes to going into the stores to shop, so I bought a belt for the big REI skirt. I think and hope it will look okay with that. Take care, Emma

Brilliant blog Mikha, Being with someone else who you've known previously and then found out about each other is amazing, it happened to me. I think I told the story in my first blog.......... Cheers, Eve

I agree...it would be cool if you could get those suckers classified as medically detrimental. I just hope that if so, they will shave 'em all the way down. Too often, the most they will do is a "reduction." A shame the patient can't dictate how far to reduce. I guess if they reduce them enough though... then a good binder will work wonders. As far as that goes, a neoprene waist trimmer would work, and be a heck of a lot cooler. -Michael

Congratulations, and best wishes on your new journey! :)

Hey Warren, Best of luck getting your top surgery classified as a medical necessity... I really hope it works out for you! (And good luck with getting your medication issues worked out too.) But, um, "falling off a cliff"? Whoa. That's... intense. I'm glad you're still here to tell the tale. And hey, we already know the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. It's just the *question* that's giving us a spot of trouble. Best wishes to you... and watch out for those robots from the future. Especially if they look like 1980s Schwarzenegger. 1990s Schwarzenegger should be OK though. Just don't confuse the two! :lol:

Hey Ren! Great to hear from you and I'm delighted that you like the book. I hope it helps you, maybe something to look at and read when life throws crap at you. (I think crap is a fine and permissible word to use.) About the Ladies and Gents and Robotics of the Future... Sounds to me like you're talking about the Darwin Awards. These are awarded to people posthumously for their stupidity and success at removing themselves from the gene pool. Like the guy who figured he could electrocute fish in the lake as a much faster way to do it than with a pole and lures. Yep, he turned on the juice and was delighted to see dead fish floating to the surface. So, he waded out to collect them. Oops! He'd forgotten to first turn off the electricity... He joined the dead fish. I sure hope you will be able to get your top surgery. If it's prescribed as a medical necessity that would be fantastic and paid for by your insurance, right? I'll be thinking of you and sending whatever good vibes I can to help. It's always nice to hear from you. Don't be a stranger! Hugs, Emma

Sounds epic, Veronica And thanks! Christie, thanks it was a rather sudden and tragic start to my teen years but we all got through it alright In fact, the other night I had a very comforting dream about him and we talked about the transgender situation. It certainly made me feel much better, even if it was only a dream ^_^

Interesting - one of my wolf tattoos, on my leg, is a wolf drawn around the Cherokee word for wolf (My friend dre it). Sorry to hear about losing your father at such a young age, that has to be really difficult

I have a crow and wolf on my back, with a triqua in the center with "Abaachii k'eh" and "Eire go braugh" (apache way and ireland forever, i believe) and a wolf on my leg with wings that says "mathair m'aingael coimhdeachla" in gaelic. Meaning "my father, my guardian angel" for my father who passed away when I was 12

That sounds like a great idea for a tattoo! I have 4 tattoos already, I want another but i'm waiting until i'm done with laser hair removal. Mine are all wolf themed

My intentions were to get a hawthorne tree over my bicep, with just the end of the quote as wording beneath it. "Never regret anything that makes you smile"

The circle of life, you move away from the name and I move towards it! It was actually my middle name by birth, so it seemed a natural choice (it was my mother's maiden name) that is a great quote - it would make for a big tattoo :)

First off, what cracks me up was my birth name was Kristy G. Just a tidbit that I found humorous On another note, you were correct. And I've recently found a quote from Mark Twain that I'd like to one day get tattooed upon my scarred bicep from self harm, that you might also enjoy. "Life is short. Break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably; and NEVER regret anything that makes you SMILE" Mark Twain

RenRen, I'm pretty new here and don't really know you, but I read your post and i'm really sorry that your going through such difficulties that seems totally useless to say, but I doubt there's anything I could say that would help much. It is encouraging to see that you have help and are trying things - and that you're able to maintain some humor through it! If the "thoughts you aren't proud of" are what i'm thinking, then I do know a little about that, i'be had them too, a couple of times just in the last few weeks. I do manage to remember when they happen that as long as i'm here I still have a chance to be happy. If i'm wrong about what you meant then disregard what I just said Xoxo Christie