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I started making a couple minor updates. I am shortening the letter and intentionally pulled the fifth paragraph Everyone will understand that I am transgender or that I am having difficulty with my gender identity after reading this letter or me reading it to them. But I don't want to elaborate too much and give someone too many openings to not support or criticize me. It can become like a mob mentality, all that is required is a label which is defined in thousands of ways in the media, mostly wrong for the world to turn against me. I also started writing a letter for my children. My therapist gave me several suggests, but that link Emma has provided has a lot of good guidance on how to talk to loved ones in addition to this letter Thank you Karen and Emma for your help! I have read a lot of letters, but none of them seemed to fit me or communicate what I wanted communicated, in a direct, strong but loving and emotionally connected manner. Thus, I knew I would need to write this one myself. --Lisa

Gosh - when you think about it, my life will be full of little coming out letters. Probably for the rest of my life! Lol! It's like a barrage of rocking people's worlds over and over and over again. I just hope that I receive compassion when it is "my time". --Lisa

Thank you all for your help! It will take me a little time to absorb.

Friends, PLEASE click on Emma's link . . . and the link of links, as well as videos! Be patient, a few of the links are broken, but, I promise you, the effort is well worth it! MUST READING/VIEWING FOR EVERYONE! Monica

Hi, I echo the same as Christie has said, but I would add that when I look back on my life I can see that there were signs that all was not "normal" for me, perhaps I was too stupid to realise it at the time. Cheers, Eve

A very beautyful and heartfelt letter! It sounds perfect.

I believe you have a good letter but do consider that some people want less information rather than volumes of information in the form of a letter. With that said some want to hear you speak the words and I have found it best to give them less information then in closing tell them "I am the same person inside" along with telling them you are open to questions. You know these people best so try and figure out if they will be content with volumes of information or want to ask you questions. Consider where you intend to come out and the current mood of that person or persons. With me a few stood on their religion beliefs which can be touchy if not conveyed well back to them your beliefs on transitioning. Even if you stay with the original letter get out some paper, write down questions that might be asked of you then answer them out loud in front of a mirror, work on your hand gestures and facial expressions so that you are comfortable with responses as this could be awkward. Best of luck with this endeavor!!!

Lisa, Similar to Emma my first thought about "Hey beautiful" was very positive - but being earlier in the journey I'm just thrilled to be referenced as a female almost anytime, I do see your point about the problem with it and I look forward to being "enough of a woman" to react the same way :-) And certainly there's lots to be anxious about, I'd also suggest writing it down, whether it's here or just for yourself. I carry a little notebook with me everywhere I go just to write down any strong feelings I encounter through the day. xoxo Christie

All the Best Wishes Karen. Veronica.

Good Luck Karen, I hope it all goes well for you. Eve

Hi Lisa, Of course I wasn't there to hear his tone and delivery, but my first thought on reading that he said "Hey beautiful!" was that I was very pleased for you! I can also well imagine being very flustered and caught unprepared. Now, I don't go saying that phrase myself to pretty women. More and more I might say that they look pretty or nice, but I have trouble even saying that as I fear they will worry that I'm coming on to them or something. Anxiety is natural, especially now. My suggestion is to allow yourself to fully feel the anxiety. Don't try to suppress or fight it. Feel it, take a look at it, and give yourself permission to have it. It's a very human emotion that anyone would feel at a time like this. Have a great humpday tomorrow! Emma

Hi Lisa, I couldn't stay asleep and was looking around the web and found this informative post by a therapist that may help you. It's also an excellent blog on transgender mental health issues: http://tgmentalhealth.com/2009/12/26/thoughts-on-coming-out-as-transgender-to-family/ Emma

I think Karen's suggestion bears repeating. Also, note new questions as they come out to add to your database, and refine your answers. I also agree that for some, perhaps those who are very emotionally attached to you, it's all too easy to overwhelm them with information. "Transgender" and "transitioning" are very unfamiliar to most. Perhaps as Karen advised, it's better to be prepared with answers and allow them to ask whatever comes to mind. Emma

Lisa, I think your letter is excellent, really. My only suggestion is to add a short paragraph between paragraphs one and two where you explain what gender dysphoria is. I think that is something we here all understand intuitively but for most others it's new language. Other than that, it's perfect. Best wishes, Emma

Monica, thank you for the feedback. My mind is starting to emerge from the confused fog that it has been these last few months. I am now starting to have moments or periods of clarity. Thank God. Because I thought I was going crazy there for awhile. It just took me some time to find those marbles that I lost and pop them back into my head again! Lol! I am so thankful for this forum and opportunity to blog. This was something that did not exist just a few years ago. And thank you for shepherding us. You have been a wonderful moderator! Love, Lisa

Lisa, Can't improve on it! Please, everyone, weigh in on this! Monica

Crissie, First, welcome to TGGuide! I'm not sure if I saw your New Member entry (I need to look there more often). I also started blogging almost immediately here, and it's been very helpful both in terms of getting my thoughts out and getting feedback - there are a lot of very caring people here! As far as your background, I feel very much the same in that I don't have specific memories of feeling like I was in the wrong body as a child, but I also don't have a lot of strong memories about any feelings from that time. There are definitely people out there with Gender Dysphoria who don't have childhood memories (it's been referred to as "Indirect Gender Dysphoria" on a couple of sites I've seen). In any case, I don't think that you're crazy for having these thoughts :-) You just need to keep exploring, take some more steps and see how it feels. After all, if you're a "wannabee" then that could be because you want to be! Please keep sharing! xoxo Christie

Hi Emma, So sorry that you've been bullied by this person, it happens over here too, some of the full-time and fully transgendered, were quite "stand offish" with me when I made my first faltering steps as Trans, perhaps they needed to do this, to help convince themselves of their own "status" of being superior to me at that time. I remember thinking that it seemed to be hierarchical, something that I had not long left behind as a SCUBA Diver. Bluntly, it's distasteful, destructive, and saps what small amount of self confidence that someone starting out on their journey might possess........... Hugs, Eve