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I think you or on the right track and must know by now that the more you get out the easier it will be. Find something to do before getting out of house i.e. listen to up beat music, concentrate on the music and forget about what will happen when you leave the house, be your female self. When out and about remember when appropriate to look at people when talking to them, make eye contact and of course smile. Bottom line, don't let fear rule your life (yes it's easier said than done but I have been there).

Good morning everyone! I spent some time this past weekend thinking about my "next steps." I've exhausted (I think) most of the subtle steps that I can take, I get the feeling that whatever I do next in terms of transition will be quite noticeable, which prompted me to wonder how ready I am for that. Wondering how ready I am made me then wonder whether it was fear holding me back a little (answer = yes). It helped a little (a lot) that I sat down at one point and wrote out a list of what I see as all of the steps that would happen if I transitioned fully (including hormones and surgery), that helped me see what things I can be doing now (working on my voice leapt to the fore). But then the fear. What am I afraid of? One possibility is the fear that this isn't really the right thing for me (that's a fear that pops up from time to time). While that's a legitimate consideration, I also know that I fear the idea of continuing to live my life as a male. And I know that the only way to address that fear is to continue moving forward. If it's true that this isn't the right path for me that will eventually come through. More likely is that my fear is based on "looking silly." More specifically that I'll look like a man dressing as a woman. I've read much about the idea of "passing" and the pros and cons, and I fully understand and in principle agree with the idea that we shouldn't necessarily be going for that (that a "man" should be able to wear whatever they want), but for me, right now, I want people to accept me as a woman and so I consider it important that my appearance not contradict that. It's probably enough for now if my "look" (hair, face, etc.) is androgynous, that at least wouldn't contradict how I'm dressed. The problem with achieving that is that when I look in the mirror I just see me, I don't know if I can objectively tell if I look female, male, or androgynous. I was told by a couple of people at work last week that I definitely look more female than I used to, so that's a good start. Fear is the other thing, and that won't really be resolved until I do go out in public dressed clearly female (but without the wig and full make-up that I've done when cross-dressing). Over the past couple of years I went through a lengthy period when I found that if I kind of wanted to do something but it scared me, I had to do it (e.g., cross-dressing in public, taking an improv class, doing drag, taking a solo show class - which culminated in a 6-minute solo piece in front of an actual audience). I look at that period now as my way of building up to overcoming this fear - in this case not something that I "kind of want" to do, but something I must do. With my wardrobe almost fully in place, and final exams at work ending this week, I'm now committed to dressing full-time as a woman starting next Monday (it will also happen most of this week). Thanks for listening xoxo Christie

Hey Christie, it gets easier and easier the more you go out. There seems to be some confusion as to being yourself and being someone else! I had this too, but you really need to go out unconcerned, just getting on with whatever it is that you're doing, if you don't do this you won't look natural. Nothing wrong with wearing a wig, I have to (but a combination of Finasteride tabs and Decapeptyl injections are working wonders in the hair replacement dept!), and it's hell in the Summer, which keeps me moving for cooling purposes! Karen's advice is good, smiles are always helpful as well as keeping eyes wide open at the same time, but try to keep it natural, not like someone who's been startled. The clothes you wear are going to help a hell of a lot, try to dress your age, if you intend going in a leather mini skirt and thigh boots you will be instantly read as a "tranny tart" (sorry for anyone upset at my lack of political correctness). In my case I wear ankle boots with a 2-3 inch comboy boot style block heel, black trousers, a nice top and something long, e.g. a longline jacket or a knee length coat, these hide my lack of hips and also hide tucked junk to an extent. I try to keep tops long, typically down to the crotch/backside area, sometimes these are referred to as tunics, also for me sleeves are a must to hide my "bricklayer style" arms. Hair that can cover some of my broad shoulders is also helpful. But all that can be termed as "props", you just have to be as natural as you can be, so going out forgetting that you are in womens clothes etc is a good way to do this, I do do this now, but I had to go through all the unnatural nervous stuff, luckily I survived without any problems, I do remember feeling great after my first few outings. Eye contact when you are talking to someone is an absolute must, I've spoken to many and my voice is awful, but I get away with it, people believe what they see, not what they hear, unless on the phone of course. So, I've said this before a few entries ago, and here it is again; Believe in yourself, be who you really are. (that's yourself!) If you don't do this, you will soon be seen as false, or to state it in a way that most Trans people will recognise, you will be read or you won't pass!, so heed my message! Cheers, Eve x P.S. What are the O's in xoxoxo

I'm no expert either and agree with both Karen's and Charl's feedback. I'd say that I'm going through the same think as you, Crissie. I'm like the classic "chicken and egg problem": which came first, the chicken or the egg? I recall always wanting and wishing to be a girl. But I also had a very dominating and punishing mother, and an absent father, with no siblings. Perhaps one thing that threw my mother into a rage was my expressing my wish to be female? I'll never know since both are long gone. These days I'm achieving some peace by just trying to allow myself to be me. While in public I'm visible as male but sometimes wear feminine underthings. At least I have that awareness of that while I'm outside. At home I may or may not dress. I do what feels comfortable. It's hard to get this all figured out. As much as would all like to have it known and "done" right now, it doesn't happen that way. Patience with yourself is, I think very important. But that's hard to do too. emma

In regards to electrolysis on the upper lip, when mine was done they had me setup an appointment with a dentist so that I would go to the dentist, he would numb my upper lip then off to my electrolysis appointment where I usually feel asleep during a two hour session when first starting the upper lip. Personally I had heavy hairs on the upper lip from constantly shaving so when going out as a female it was pretty well hidden but sadly made those hairs heavier.