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Over two weeks on hormones. Had my second laser treatment. Had my sixth electrolysis appoint. Sounds good, doesn't it? Well .... this is a long road I have picked to travel. I feel as though I am in limbo. I have scheduled weekly electrolysis appointments and finally after about 9 weeks, I am getting a little regrowth. Not so much that it is discouraging. I had a long talk with my sister recently about the fact that I was on hormones. The one thing that I keep going back to is that I feel sooo much better. It is amazing. My focus is better. I have much less anxiety and I don't sweat a lot of things as much. It's a process. I am slowing changing. I look forward to those changes, yet I and others around me need to get used to it as well (such as my increasingly long hair). Anyways, I am going to just live, go to my appointments and see what happen. Change is gradual. My hope is that the changes in my body will dictate the clothes I need to wear, etc. We shall see. I recently traveled back to visit with my mom to help her around the house. She has been incredibly supportive. I hope that continues! Anyways, I hope that everyone has been doing well this week. Love, Lisa

Yes changes will be small but are cumulative over time they add up to big changes that one day you will look at old pictures and see two different people, a male in one, a female in the other

Karen, that is great news. It is so good to hear that you are doing great!

I went to a TG support group at the LGBT Center here in Manhattan last night. They meet the first Wednesday of each month (there are 2 groups, 1 for transwomen and 1 for transmen). I'm hoping that the way it went last night is not typical of the group. We (actually "they," I was pretty quiet) spent the entire 90 minutes talking about Caitlyn Jenner. I'm hoping it's just because it was such a big story, and that the group isn't just a current events discussion group. I was really hoping for an actual "support" group after all. I'll definitely go again next month, and in the meantime there was 1 person there who I already knew (from the Thursday night Stonewall group), so I might get together with her sometime and can find out more about the group (she's been going for about a year). On another front - I'm meeting today with the Dean and Associate Dean of the school where I work, they wanted to meet to talk about how they can help with my transition. I obviously have nothing to compare to, but I feel really great about the support that I've been getting here! It almost makes me feel bad that I was looking for a new job .

Suggest that a person attend a support group about six times before deciding if it is right for them. Making a decision based on one visit is not fair to them (for what you may be able to bring to the group) or for you (for what you may get out of it). Every person and group have their 'off' days. It takes a while to see the big picture . . .

So True Karen........

I think people get wrapped up in the fact that she is financially independent and well off. That she does not face the same struggles as the rest of us. But while most of us are able to transition in relative anonymity, Bruce now Caitlyn cannot. I'll bet, if she wasn't so famous and an Olympic hero to many, she would have transitioned years ago. But she did not. She lived in a personal prison. Not wanting to disappoint millions of Americans and people around the world. Can you imagine that? Here I am worried about disappointing my mom, sister, wife ... and she has this burden her whole life that none of us could imagine. I am proud of her! Growing up, Bruce Jenner was a hero to me. Caitlyn Jenner still is that Olympic hero. That being said, some of the Vanity Fair shots were highly sexualized. Maybe I am sensitive to it because I am trans* or because Caitlyn (and I) am older. I just worry for other older trans* women, like myself, that the "bar" has been set high. I am a very self-critical person, but I worry that I and others will be measured by cisgender people who see this. We don't have infinite amounts of money or free time to look that good. (Lol! Don't we wish!) So it is somewhat a false reality. Though, it is no different then the reality that women face who see advertising "pump out" sexualized images on a daily basis. Anyways, I am "net-positive" about all of this. When I saw the pictures, I had the same reaction, "WOW! I cannot believe that used to be Bruce Jenner. She looks incredible!"

Eve, There is a group that meets every Thursday night at the Stonewall Bar. It's for trans people, cross-dressers, etc. It's a great group, but it is purely social so there isn't much deep discussion. xoxo Christie

You know come to think of it after reading Brigsby's comment (which must have been posted whilst I was typing), the first time I went to Outskirts I came away dissapointed, and yes, after the 3rd visit I went every Monday it was on it was great !.................

The description of the group does make it clear that it's a support group, so I do think this was probably an exception. They still could have limited that part of the discussion, there was a lot of repetition. My job search was mostly based on money, but that's gotten a little better recently thanks to a mortgage refinancing. (Of course electrolysis is taking up most of that saving)

Hi Christie, Is that the only TG support group / meeting place in New York? Are there any Trans freindly bars / restaurants where Trans people go to? I ask because here in Birmingham we have something called Outskirts which is a group where people across the Trans spectrum meet every 1st and 3rd Monday evening per month, at a bar called the Equater Bar in Hurst Street. It' sort of starts 7:30 ish and continues through to late (sort of after 23:00 ish). Theres usually 20 to 30 of us who meet and talk and help newcomers who are mostly fresh out of the closet, or cross dressers who want to transition and want advice. I'd be amazed if B'ham UK is the only place where this happens, please let me know if there isn't a place like this in New York somewhere. Ask your friend. Going to Outskirts helped me so much to get where I am now with my transition, in fact I'm pretty sure I couldn't have done it at all without going there....... Glad that all is going well at work for you. Eve

I feel bad that the support group you went to wasn't what you thought it might be. I really know that feeling, and the disappointment! But I would keep going for at least two - three more times to get a real feel for the atmosphere. It really isn't often that someone famous shocks the world with their new (to the world) look and name. It's great to hear that your work is being supportive. I didn't know you were looking for another job, but I hope you don't have to anymore!

Last week was my first post surgery operation appointment for breast augmentation where I was told there would be several more appointments over the next several months. Today I was examined and asked about pain or discomfort. I told them what little pain was still present was almost completely gone on Monday of this week. Both the surgeon and his assistant (a female) agreed that my recovery was better than the average person after breast augmentation and said even with heavy muscles I was doing fantastic. During the examination I was placed into various positions to ensure the forms were in the proper position which is what the elastic strap was for which I had been wearing for the past two weeks. So now no more wrap but was told to be careful with things like lifting heavy objects for the next two week. They said I was doing so well that my next appointment will not be for five months unless I had concerns. This morning I thought that they might toss the wrap and decided to bring a bra with me so once the appointment was concluded I went right to the restroom and put on the bra I brought with me. Comparing the old breast forms to my new breast, there is very little difference in projection which made me happy. Speaking of bras, I plan on visiting Victoria's Secrets Friday afternoon for a bra fitting. My wish is to get one for everyday and one fancy bra. I will work with the everyday bra during the weekend and if it suits me will purchase more on Monday after work.

Thank you for your thoughtful observation Brigsby. I agree there isn't as much conversation about trans men. I suspect that is because the men are less visible, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't talk about FtM issues. It reinforces in my mind that we were right, during the early development of TGGuide, when we decided to be open to all transgender people including FtM. In fact, during our recent upgrades, I am attempting to make the site more neutral so it feels welcoming for both the guys and gals regardless of where they fit on the transgender continuum.

Years ago, a heavy butch Lesbian invited me to her home to watch a video, and, even though I am a mid-butch Lesbian, I cried my eyes out. My friend told me that she was glad she invited no one else, especially from the Lesbian community, to join us, because, frankly, she was embarrassed! LOL! Luckily, my beloved never put such pressure on me! We cried together, IN PUBLIC, at many movie theaters! LOL! Monica