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​I opened Pandora's box (in a mythological sense) a few years back. I can't unsee it, but it did help me a lot in unearthing my real identity which was also the time I discovered that this journey was essential to my survival. My mom got me that necklace in Hawaii! I really like it. I also have one with a purple flower and a shell string, I like it a lot too but this one goes with more of my outfits. My brother has had that necklace for as long as I can remember. He's the musician in the family

Mikah, Love the necklaces you and your brother are wearing. Are they handmade? Did you make them? You are a beautiful lady and your brother is a handsome man. Monica

I am not the type to attend a trans parade at all but felt the need to see what is was all about. Well for a while there it seemed like we would not make it as my friend's husband got intoxicated and did some really stupid stuff to his wife and young daughter, When I got to her place her daughter clung onto me for safety and the husband immediately settled down to some extent as even though he is much bigger than me he knows what I am capable of. I could write an entire entry of this but decline too. So we headed off to the march/parade getting there about 15 minutes before a bunch of speeches began. In some ways I was surprised that there was a woman walking around with no top acting like a male and after sometime realized they were looking for a reaction from people but people in Portland are not going to react for the most part thus zero gained. I noticed a transman standing by themselves and told my friend I believe they are by themselves and look like they could use some company. Next thing I see if my friend moving next to him and starting a conversation along with introducing ourselves and after that he was happy Overall there were segments of each part of LGBT community there and for the majority acting normal yet as you might guess there were some that were there in my opinion to stand out and be seen. Some of them IMHO were a negative to how others view trans people. One thing I want to point out that there was a fair amount of transmen at the event and would say they were well represented in numbers and also outward appearance and attitude. Would I go next year? Nope, as indicated above, this is not me but would support the community in other ways which I plan on doing, just not a march/parade. The two blondes in the lower right corner, one is cisgender and the other in transition. I spoke to both of them and can honestly say they make a great couple with a positive attitude. Think the green sunglasses suit me just fine.

My mother called last night to chat about photographs I had sent her of me (which I mentioned in a recent entry). She first asked who had done the packaging. I told her UPS and was hoping that all had arrived intact. She says, it took my bother a long time to open the package as it was packaged very well. She then studied the three framed pictures and came back with “you are right, I would not had recognized you” and that if you were to walk up to me and said nothing I would not recognize you. The next part gave me a smile when she said “I bet you get heads turning when you walk into a room” and I said I get some heads turning which I had not noticed but my best female friend tells me about men checking me out with a look that appears to be not about gender issues but that they are interested in me. Vanity, guess I have some hidden away laugh out loud. With that in mind I noticed on my Facebook page there are 14 men following me and one recently wanting to date me. This man was first floored that I was once male but in his words could not live without me and girls that is a sign to stop this before it goes any farther. Somehow the conversation went into sex, not from me, by my mother. I am still getting use to conversing with my mother about sex which has come up several times since I transitioned. I remember once finding a picture of my mother when she was in her early twenties and wow, she was a knock out for sure. So at one point she mentioned having sex with several men over the years and one think I thought was funny when she said “is that all there is” where the man entered her and pretty much was done in seconds. When I hear about things like this I go back to when I was male. In my early years I could last a long time but was criminal in that I was not good at pleasing a woman fully meaning exciting her entire body. After separating from my former wife things changed and I was working woman’s bodies in loving making. Of course years later I realized I was performing more as a female, not using my penis so much. In the last two or three years I had issues keeping it up and believe it was not from not physically being able to but mentally was repulsed so much by my penis that it would not stay in play even with Viagra. My next to last girlfriend told me that she had eight good O’s (orgasms) from me. Fast forward to a year and a half ago when I told her about my transition she went back to that night and said, now I understand, it makes sense as you were in the role of a female not male. Any ways I told my mother about the above in another phone chat and she told me about some of her dealings in bed with men. The last thing we talked about was having me stay with her when I go out and visit this coming April. The jury is still out if I will stay in a hotel or her place. I think staying in a hotel is best and can be with her three-quarters of the time but will wait and see. I do have to say that I am amazed that my mother, 92 years old so much enjoys chatting with me and throughout the chat kept bringing up how happy I appeared in the photographs.

Monica, it took my mother this long, at 58 she talks to me about sex. In regards to my mother's experience, she was a teenager at the time with another teenager.

Dear Karen, My mother never talked to me about sex, but about some of her experiences in dating. What your mother described might have been "premature ejaculation," often caused by a man having been with prostitutes in the past. The prostitute would rush the man, thus unintentionally teaching him bad sexual habits. Would like to warn the ladies here that men that had sex with prostitutes or were into pornography, especially video or computer pornography, have unrealistic expectations about sex and relationships. Your friend, Monica

Dear Sara, Suspect the Canadian Blood Service confuses transwomen with Gaymales. Bottom line, transwomen ARE women, and there are Gaymales who are in happy, monogamous relationships, and everyone is an INDIVIDUAL, and should be evaluated as such! Your friend, Monica

I was a bit worried when I read the title of this post, but was relieved when I found out you meant Pandora in the bracelet sense, rather than Pandora in the mythological sense! Happy (belated) birthday!