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You hear about men and woman as they grow old have less desire for making love or masterbastion, one day it's all we can think about then it's gone for the most part. Then there are others who never go down this path. Nothing wrong to be in either camp. When still a male I was pretty much a sexual creature until around 2007 where I was repulsed using my penis. I became asexual, would masterbate while tucked, never looking down. It was not easy to come to orgasm with everything tucked away but after ten to twenty minutes was done and very satisfied. I did this once a week where before 2007 I was having sex several times a week, I think more than anything else was more interested in how hormones were affecting me as I heard that in some cases the sex drive goes away or is less than prior to hormones. After GRS I have been with several partners but other than one man and two woman not much there is regards to orgasm. I heard that it takes six to eight months to be able to obtain orgasm which is my current time frame. Last night I got simulating thoughts going through my brain, ended up very excited for roughly an hour until it was to the point I felt like I need a partner which I called on one and was great. This morning I was thinking about last night and ended up pleasuring myself and before I knew it two hours had passed and had to forcefully stop myself. Took a shower and got onto the computer. As I am writing this paragraph the tingling is there again but must refrain because I have an appointment for hair coloring in another hour. Okay, with all the above out, there have been times between January and now that I could not get aroused and thought I was getting to be one of those who lost it from not using it enough, using it, by that I mean the brain not what is below the belt. I get so busy sometimes that I ignore my sexual desires and that is not wise so now I am not going to let this happen anymore. Hopefully for those who will be transitioning via surgery both before and after surgery will not let your sex appetite be lost.

Thank you all for your feedback Today I even ventured to my local grocery store, got a nice compliment from my favorite cashier! (She was my favorite before that) Eve, here's a pic of the band

Thanks Veronica x

Hiya Eve. I Noticed on Your Profile, that You are From Birmingham. With Me being in Aylesbury, it is West Midlands, and South Midlands, so We are Not far away from each other. Sorry, I thought You were Post-Op. I Do Hope I Haven't Offended You Sweetie. That was Not Something I would want to do. Enjoy the Weekend Eve, and I hope We Speak Soon Love. Thanks for replying to Me . Take Care Eve, and Best Wishes, Stephanie. xoxo

I agree with Monica on the reply about sex drive. Three years ago compare to today my sex drive has totally changed. For years an erect penis was validation and now it's an entire body "event". Thinking of BAD SELF (hey Veronica), oh if I could describe my bad-self since say two months after GRS what stories I might tell, perhaps nasty girl is a more suitable description for me. There are times when I don;t think about sex for days on end then there are days that the train stop for my body event with a man or woman that usually last much, much longer than in my old physical self, a man (yuk). Christie, I believe going in to this will bring much joy and revelations. Some one notable once said (not the exact words) something like, each day we are born again, make the most of it. I do so, especially that I missed out on so much as a female I embrace it all and hope you will too, take nothing for granted.

WELL THATS DONE IT ! The paint that I used to trap myself in a corner seems to have dried! I'll post in the next couple of days. Stephanie, thanks for your comment, however I am not post-op yet. Cheers, Eve, oxo

Thanks Christie.

When I hit the age of 30 years old I went from a night person who was totally into playing in a rock band playing in clubs or jamming with various musicians and getting up late to going to bed early and getting up when others were falling asleep. I then get up and be on the computer figuring out complex problems or putting on headphones creating music. The family sleeping soundly and me doing this dressed gave me the little peace of mind I needed to keep sanity in the male body. I was afforded this luxury because I created a (hate to say it) man cave or should I say woman cave??? The majority of people in my position at that time in my life most likely did not have the luxury to dress and be free of worries of being caught so I am grateful for that. This morning I got up at my usual time, 2AM (yeah that's right), go pee, get on the computer, check out what is transpiring on the developer's forums at Microsoft where I am a moderator. After scanning a few of the forums make coffee, sat back down in my boyshorts and tank top, check out Facebook and today note who is going to a pride event that I am going too. All the while the television is on with Led Zeppelin's Song remains the same. I then check out what's going on here then will shortly visit an exclusive web site cult (in a good way) devoted to like minded people that centers around edge weapons. I could take volumes about this place but will refrain but if you love all things shape it's a haven. By 3:30AM I will be ready to dilate, this morning watch a show recorded called "Edge of Alaska" which I really like, by 5AM more coffee and breakfast then take a drive to see about parking at the pride event, back home by 6:30AM, take a morning walk, take a nap, heck look what I have done and the sun has barely risen. Oh, I forgot to mention answering email messages from friends or Skype with one or two friends that are kind of similar to me or are in totally different time zones. You don't need to get up like me but do challenge those reading this to get up and do stuff in the morning.

Dear Veronica and Karen, Heard that our soldiers in the Middle East are allowed to obtain tomahawks (that they pay for themselves) because the people in the Middle East respect those who know how to use edge weapons. Yours truly, Monica

Dear diary, so I appear to have been marooned on to this island somewhere in the Southern Hemisphere. Although there are tracks from other people it appears that I am still alone here. OK so a slightly dramatic entrance to the world of blogging, but I have been asked to try and avoid the self deprecation and trans-angst which is all too apparent in our own lives. So to help with my own therapy, and to avoid triggering depressive thoughts to others I will try and avoid getting in to myself too much. Of course there will be times when I am seriously, those times when I can't look in to the mirror and see me, or when I pass a window reflection and get confused at the 'other' person looking back, but I promise to try and keep it light and interesting when I can. My aim is to write on a weekly basis, talking about some of the things I have seen whilst making my way through a life which won't involve full transition or GRS; a kind of half life if you wish. Anyway, that's enough of an introduction. Read more as the week's progress and you'll probably get an idea about who I am and what my interests are. If you've dropped by and clicked to read, then thank you. I hope I have pricked some interest and I am honoured you have taken the time to read this far. Take care and be safe C.xoxo

Veronica, I don't teach Tomahawks but have skill with them and funny that you asked because I keep a firearm, flashlight and Tomahawk next to my bed for protection. Check out the model I have here. I hear yea about breaking nails which is why I get shellac nail polish which is super strong, never in one and a half years as a nail broke. Had to forgo shellac for GRS and no less then four nails broke in one week.

You're showing true determination Christie! Well-done girl. Please, provide a link to the head band that you mention, it seems worthwhile investigating. Cheers, Eve

Eve, Hiya. Steph53 here. I Am in the UK, and used the old Chat-Room, but Moved, over here just a Few Week's Ago. I have read some of Your Posts, even though, (with 3 Special Needs Children), I sadly, have Not had a Chance to comment, on Your Posts. I Came-Out, as Transsexual, just over 15 Week's Ago, and I Am Going down the route of MtoF Transitioning. I Started Fully, Full-Time, Female-Dressing, the Day after I Came-Out ! I can tell You Eve, that I Do Not see things becoming any easier, under the Conservative Government, for Us Transsexual's; Transgender's; Etc. I Hope that Life is Good for You, as a Post-Op. TS. Good on You Sweetheart. If You Do leave TGGuide, I think it Would be Very Sad. You are A Very Interesting, and Lovely Lady. (By the way, I Am in Aylesbury, in Buckinghamshire, in the UK) ! Eve, I Hope that the Future is Great for You,,and May You Be Truly Happy, Honey. Take Care, and Best Wishes, Stephanie. xoxo

Maybe I'll have to edit and change the title to good night instead of good bye. Anyway it's late here, I've had too much cote du rhone, and so I'll bid you all good night my friends or bon nuit, mes amis. Eve

Christie you're a gem! who'd have believed (outside of the US) an American saying that! To be honest it's dawned on me over the last 18 months or so that capitalism is failing. To my mind it's because it's gone too far, it seems as if we need to go back or forward to a mixed economy, but one that is in synch with other countries in the "western world", no single country can do it alone (however I suppose one must try and lead). Mixed economy? one where the infrastructure of a nation supports both free enterprise and society at large. Infrastructure? public transport, utilities, defence, legal system*, health, & social services. Free Enterprise? the rest, surely there's enough scope there for those who want follow free enterprise, and progress society with technological advances, I'd hate to stop people from doing that, in fact although I'm somewhat democractic socialist in my beliefs, I admire free enterprise when it's not spoon fed with easy government contracts for public services. Take care my friend, Eve x