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Hiya Christie Anne. I Am so glad that You are doing.so well. I Am also so Pleased that You are going to be able to Officially change Your name, in just a few day's time. I want to do that very soon Myself. The name's I will change to are Stephanie Jayne Susan. Christie, the fact that You are enjoying Your new position at work, is Great. Christie Anne, You are a Brilliant Lady, and the fact that the Hormones are helping is great as well. Christie, Continuing Good Luck to You, Take Care, With Very Best Wishes, Stephanie. xoxo

I'd always wanted a pair of nice boobs for as long as I could remember, I used to imagine what it'd be like to have boobs, what it'd feel like with my nipples placed out much further from my ribs than they used to be. Then when I came out as transvestite, dressing part-time, I used to long to be more feminine, and that really started me off with hormones, way before any sane person would have advised anybody to, so yes I self medded. I wanted as much feminisation as possible, to enable me to "pass" and act as a female, so that I could convincingly wear tight skirts, leggings, make-up, tight tops, and wait a minute isn't this sounding what a man's idea of what a woman is? It was mine. Point is that I knew that HRT would feminise me, that I'd grow boobs if I was lucky, that I'd loose upper body strength (I didn't realise just how much I'd lose though!), my facial features would soften, and that weight re-distribution would happen. This has happened, and over the last 14 months or so my tastes in female clothing have also changed, they started to become much more what a real woman would wear, same is true for make-up too. It's gradually started to dawn on me after all this time, that I'm becoming a woman, not just a more feminine version of the previous me, as I had previously been thinking of. HRT for trans women is not just about Hormone Replacement Therapy, I'd been taking oestrogen for 18 months or so before I became a patient of Charing Cross Gender Identity Clinic, and during that time I had developed as a more feminine male - the more feminine version of the previous me. HRT for trans women is as much about Hormone Removal Therapy, taking away testosterone has in my opinion, been responsible for my becoming a woman - not sure if there's still a way to go yet, I can only hope so. So it was a bit of a revelation to realise that I'm becoming a woman, but one that I wouldn't want to miss for the world. Maybe those in our community who have known from birth that they were born in the wrong body may already know that they are a woman, but there are many like me who did not posess those feelings or have that knowledge. So to those who are treading, or contemplating treading a similar HRT path, beware that you'll become a woman not just a feminine version of yourself. Cheers, Eve

About the only things I was covered for were doctor visits and drugs, everything else was out of pocket for me. There is better insurance which even covers surgery for those who make little to nothing while I am at the opposite end of the scale.

Last night I was informed that the one I'm dating is going away for a month or more. I'm not the dependent type of person, but it's giving me the sensation of sadness and that my boo is way too far to touch. And me vocalizing this feeling made him stress about it too. What I know for certain is, his family decided on him to go help out at family and the ones that decided aren't aware of our relationship or at least not aware of how I look. Make that his whole mom's side of the family, as I've been exposed to his dad's side and the battle of me winning them over or proving that we are a good couple was won on first impressions, one side down, another to go. What's bothering me is he'll be away and about seven to eight hours worth of drive if not more. I first need to find out if they are talking about 120km/h (75mph) or at a greater speed then the legal speed limit. Which is almost giving me a sense of anxiety. But we grew closer in the last few months of knowing each other and we will just have to see what this family obligation will hold in store for us. Why are relationships so complicated??? I also know the saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder.". But the more we had this discussion the more reluctant he is seeming to go help his family, which I don't want. Maybe he is fearing me dumping him for being so far away. The thing I'm worried about, it will be his first birthday together with me and will he truly be back by then. No I didn't change my leave planning for him as yet, as we still have to gel more according to me, and then we can start planning our life together. And family does come first especially if they are the supportive kind, and he is supper attached to his family. Where I am the one only attached to some of my family, especially my oldest sister (even though we have an age gap of 16 years, she was the first to know I never identified as male, but we've been open about most of our feelingsfeelings as we have been open since before I was four years when we discussed me not being a boy), and then my sister in law and her oldest daughter I call my child. I'm actually closer to my brother's in laws then my own family, weird. So getting back to my feelings. I would love to have him to myself, but I know I'm sharing him with his family and he doesn't give any two or even how million F#@ks about anybody disapproving of our relationship. Still I'm getting a sense his mom was the deciding factor in this matter, because we never met and we don't have a relationship as yet. Well I worry about the whole thing, or if anything is about to happen, as all relationships need a time apart to see if it will work. Now that is my 2cents worth of thoughts on this. Live life, love yourself, and be who you've always been. I'm out Michele