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For almost a week now, I've been arguing with our IT service desk about how my company email address needs to change. They want to add my new name as an alias which isn't what I need. They also just want to change the name that is displayed to people. Both of those changes would leave my old, dead name visible for anyone to see. I don't want that. I want my dead name to disappear. That isn't unreasonable. I don't want someone to stumble across my dead name a couple of years from now. They don't get it. Someone has just changed my displayed name and if anyone clicks on it they can still see my dead name. I have explained to them FOUR times now that this is incorrect. They have tried to close the request on me four times and I keep reopening it because they still haven't got it right. The latest insult is that I could see the notes that someone had written against the request. "User is not happy. She wants her name to be changed everywhere." She? SHE? Ffs!!! I'm gonna cry before the week is over.

Liked your post out of solidarity. Went through my own name-change headaches. But when I finally got my ID book, I swear, it was one of the best days of my life. I know it's terrible, but hang in there. Love Charl

Good for you, Jay, stick up for yourself. Their response and lack of support is so ridiculous. Boy, do I HATE office politics and stuff like this. Don't they know that what goes around comes around? Good luck getting it fixed, once and for all.

Thanks guys I wasn't really thinking about crying yet. But I do want to punch a wall. They're just being lazy. They've done it before - I personally know two people who have already done this, albeit a few years ago, and no doubt there are other people I don't know in person who also work for the same company and who have done this before me. Basically, the IT guys are just doing the bare minimum that they think they can get away with but I won't let them get away with it. So they're annoyed with me. I'm going to escalate the issue tomorrow. My manager is on holiday for Christmas so he can't help but his manager is still around, and so is his manager, so it will be fixed. I just hope it doesn't drag on all the way into January.

Hi Jay, I don't know why I clicked like this, I don't, how could any understanding person like it, but it registers my having read it.......... Anyway have a cry, and then resolve to get HR to TELL your It dept to make the necessary changes, otherwise they are going down the road to losing a constructed dismissal case that you could bring about. See Marland versus P & O Ferries, it's a little more extreme granted, but the principles are the same. In the meantime think of what the initials IT could stand for..........such as Insensitive Twa*s, Insubordinate Testosterone Department, I'm sure you could think of others, it might help you to stop crying and get more attitude and determination. Do you belong to a Union, it's just the sort of thing that they love to belt employers with. And of course involve your line management too, it seems to me that your manager is supportive of you from your recent postings. I hope that this is resolved before Christmas, and you're not left with it fretting away inside your head, I had name change problems myself this time last year, but not with my work, so I know how distracting it is. Hugs, Eve

Jay, you add so much here, thank you for writing. All I can say is good on you that you're so bravely doing what you need to do, following through to ensure you get what you need, and also, joining others, like here and at your FTM meeting. I think your correct that it's not that the numbers of transgender people are increasing. It warms my heart as I become increasingly aware how large a community we are. Makes me feel very good. Emma

...Smashwords... because I just did... I just went on there to check on my story downloads - and they have almost doubled since I last looked at the stats. I've never uploaded a pic on here before so I hope it works. Knowing me, I've probably got it wrong. But this is some of that positive reinforcement we could all use now and then. I took a leaf out of someone else's book on here because, well, why not! It made me feel good, seeing those download stats. We all need to know we're loved, don't we?

Thanks for this Jay, My partner will be interested in this, if she isn't already aware of it, she loves writing.... Cheers, Eve

I just called the doctor's surgery to find out whether they have sent my test results to the GIC. I had a bunch of blood tests last week because the GIC asked for them. They won't accept my referral until they get the results and they gave a 4 week deadline to receive them, otherwise they would reject my referral. That was a little tight, given that it took two weeks for their letter to arrive at my GP practice, requesting the blood tests in the first place, because it's almost Christmas and I presume the letter got stuck in the backlog of Christmas mail. As soon as I received my copy of the letter (because they sent it to me too) I called the doc and made an appointment for the blood tests. My letter arrived two days before it arrived at the GP practice. So it's a good thing I called them otherwise we'd have lost another few days. I want that referral. I know that, even if they accept me, it will be months and months before I even get to see anyone at the clinic. The last time I checked, the waiting list was 8 months. It's probably longer now. And that's one of the shorter waiting lists - another clinic has a waiting list estimate of 3 years. The lists are growing daily. I've been looking at the stats. So, there are more people requesting referrals to Gender Identity Clinics all the time. Are there suddenly more of us around? I don't think so. I think we're just getting braver, or more desperate. I know that, in my case, it's a bit of both. I am braver than I was a few years ago. But I'm also definitely more desperate for something to be done. I went to my monthly FtM meeting last night and, while it was a good session, and the other guys are great, I kept looking at the people who have completely transitioned and I knew I was envious of them. The guys with the beards. The guys who don't have hips that are larger than their waists. The guys who don't have to wear binders. One bloke caught me looking at him and he smiled at me. I felt myself blushing but I smiled back. I don't know what he was thinking when he caught me. I don't know whether he thought I fancied him or something, but I don't care. I was definitely admiring his body. I want one of those.

It's a publishing site. People can upload their books and other people can either read them on the site (because there's a reading app on there) or download copies in various formats to other devices. There's hundreds of thousands of books on there, in all genres, fiction and non-fiction. Some you buy, others are available for free. From my point of view, it's where I publish my finished stories. Smashwords formats them for distribution to multiple resellers. I used to publish directly on Amazon but Smashwords is easier, I think. I use another site to upload stories that are unfinished, posting them a chapter at a time. But Smashwords is where I get a lot of my reading material too - there are many brilliant authors on there. Some of my favourite authors use the site. I'm always downloading books from there.

Yeah me neither, what's it's purpose?