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Hi Michele, It seems to me that it's as if you're the like a rape victim, almost made to feel guilty for going after the rapist when after all you were doing nothing wrong. He did, you didn't. It's as simple as that. And fortunately your South African laws and your commander are supporting you. I agree that it's sad that this man may lose his pension. I'm sorry for him. But I'm not in the least condoning his behavior. That is inexcusable. He made his bed and now he gets to lie in it. But I also understand that all of this puts you into a horrible position. I'm sure your molester (which he is, after all) has friends and supporters who will automatically throw their support his way and perhaps snub you. And in your career that is especially scary let alone potentially career-limiting. I wonder if there is an alternative you can talk to your commander about. Do the have an ombudsman or third-party negotiator who could try to strike some balance? Maybe as you said they have no choice but to prosecute him in court. I find that surprising but maybe it is what it is. Then again, maybe your commander has his own agenda and wants to throw this guy under the bus. Anyway, I'd suggest exploring any alternatives to court. Then again, if it does go to court do they allow you to sue for damages? Perhaps like here in California once the crime has been adjudicated (and he is found guilty) in a court we can then sue in "civil court" for damages. Because I think you would have a case of need to be compensated for your own emotional distress as well as the very real chance that you will need to find an alternate career for your safety as well as long term satisfaction. You're young and it's so unfair that he put this into your life. I'm afraid I gave you more questions than anything else but I hope it helps you. Emma

Hiya Beautiful; Pretty Michele. Thank You for You Message Young Lady. ( I Am Glad that You liked the comment :- " So-and-So " !! I thought I would Keep Our Conversation's on TGGuide ",Clean " !! L.O.L. !! I have Got a Real Bucket-Mouth, But, I Can Also Be Cleanly Spoken ! Michele, that So-Called " Boss ", He Should Be " Demoted " I Am an Ex-Union Shop-Steward; and therefore, I Do NOT take Any rot, and I Do NOT Enjoy seeing My Friend's, like Yourself, taking any Rot. Michele Darling Girl, Hit that Cretin, Right Where It Hurts Him the most - In His Wallet. I suggest that You ask the Female Boss, to have Him demoted. Here's a nice job for Him, Make Him sweep the Main Road's, during the Peak Time's, in the Wrong Direction, with a worn-out Toothbrush. When He does Not do the job Properly, make Him repeat it, until He gets Fed-Up, and Leaves !! I Am a Devious Bitch, aren't I ? Michele You Gorgeous Young Lady, Do NOT take any Rot. You Darling Girl are Far Better Than That. Sweetheart, You Know that I Am here for You. Look After Yourself, Take Care, And My Very Best Wishes, Love Stephanie. xxxxxxxx

Hi Steph and V I liked the so and so, actually know what that means, so enjoyed someone with a sense of humor like mine. Can't I rather have petrol bomb control, it's the easiest bombs to make. I also don't know why people are so scared of a petrol bomb that isn't ignited. Fear I don't have for this guy, neither respect anymore. He stepped onto grounds to disrespect what he refuses to understand, and if had any inclination of actually wanting to learn, he would have asked in the right way. But that is also why I didn't tell my support head commander, because I knew she would attack like a mother with her child being attacked, and then someone told her. Ooooooh crap, Monday I will hear something that I don't want to hear. But I'm positive and if he pushes, I know how to withstand the push and make him fall on his own. Love, hugs, kisses Michele

Hi Jay, I identify with your experiences but it took a little longer for me. Only a few weeks though. I was also surprised how quickly my breasts responded but three months on now and they seem to have settled down to a more steady growth. I think from what I can feel the internal structure started as a small knot under each nipple and is now becoming flatter and wider like a small upside down saucer. I am also much more relaxed. My dysphoria was really driving me at first but now it feels like it has been released, like a spring that was under tension. I also feel hungry, especially in the evening. It's really hard but try and stay in control. Personally I feel so free and good about me. Love and best wishes. Chantel

I am so sorry that happened and know how brave you are to discuss it. I am not as strong as you. If you want to talk I would be honored. I am Ace, an FTM from Rochester, NY> Ace

Hiya Michele. Firstly My Darling Girl, You are no Pest !! You have Every Right to Your Personal, and Confidential Information being just that. Michele, You hit Him where it hurts - in His Wallet !! I Am Not going to Use Profane, or Insulting Language to describe Him. This Is out of sheer Love and Respect for You, and All Our Friend's on TGGuide. ( I Will Not lower Myself to His Gutter Standard's !! ). Michele, Don't let the So-and-So get You down. He Is an ignorant Good-for-Nothing. Michele, You on the other hand, are a Very Wonderful, and Very Decent Young Lady. Michele, wallop Him in the wallet, and You have the Last LaughLaugh !! Michele, Speak Soon Honey, Take Care, And My Very Best Wishes, Love Stephanie. xxxx

Dear Ace, Think that everyone is looking to the Internet to make friends, and then following up with face to face friends. Have friends in many different states (Internet, snail mail and telephone friends). Actually have one face to face friend who I met on an Internet dating service. Another friend I knew face to face in Brooklyn for ten years is now a weekly telephone friend since I moved to upstate New York from Brooklyn. Today demands people to be more flexible in making and keeping friends. Just be aware that someone can be very different on the Internet versus telephone versus face to face. They may not be trying to deceive you, it is just that each technology brings out different aspects of a person. For example, I tend to be much more formal when I send a snail mail letter than when I am on the telephone or in person. Please be aware that chemistry can NOT be judged on the Internet, Skype, snail mail, and most ALWAYS be evaluated face to face, and CAN'T be rushed. May I also suggest www.meetups.com, which are based more on common interests rather than gender or sexual orientation, although there ARE transgender and sexual orientation groups. Yours truly, Monica

Heya Jay Hope that your headaches are getting better and it's good having a few guys between the gals. Well, I know I'm not your typical lady's but I see me getting a few petrol heads, and weapons friends. Enjoy the changes. Mentally then physically. Enjoy the colder seasons, as I also love them more. All the best Michele

Dear Ace, Here at TGGuide you will make lots of friends. Also, when you attend Gender Conferences, you may meet many of the friends you made at TGGuide. Am assuming you live near Rochester Polytechnic Institute and other colleges. Many of them have LGBT organizations, and they are open to non-students. You may want to Google "LGBT Centers in Rochester, NY," as well as "Gender Conferences 2016," some of which may be relatively near you. You should be no more than a couple of hours drive from a transgender support group. Take your time as TGGuide is very information rich, and I would start at reading the Forums and Blogs. Glad to see you are writing your own blog. Find it very therapeutic writing my own, and I enjoy reading readers' responses. Remember, TGGuide is a very emotionally safe place! Yours truly, Monica