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I'm not sure how people see me either. I can only guess based on how they do or don't look (stare) at me. I think I've mentioned recently that it seems men don't even notice me for the most part. I dunno if it's because in passing they just see (or think me to be) another guy, or if they see me as a female that's "not much to look at." Women, on the other hand, do notice me. There is an age group that has no problem in just straight up staring at me in a disapproving manner - the look on their faces bordering on disgust. But every once in a while, there will be a woman cut me a glance that clearly indicates she likes what she sees. Most often though, that happens when I am in a vehicle... I did try to be like women. Make-up, jewelry, curls and smells. Until I just couldn't do it anymore. I was always nervous. And of course being nervous made me sweat more than I already did. After I started wearing men's clothes from shoes to shirts and everything in between outerwear to underwear, I realized that the female trappings are what caused me to always feel nervous - I was uncomfortable, self-conscious, unsure of myself, never felt like I measured up. I always felt like people could see my vulnerability. I'm sure that added to making me nervous. I hated going to salons, and so I too often cut my own hair. In salons, I felt naked. I felt like the women around me were able to visually completely strip me of the facade I presented, and then glare at me because they knew I wasn't supposed to be there, and I was invading one of their sacred places of womanhood. As for the binder and STP... I have to agree that those two items might cater to the psychological. I only know that I feel better in a binder and packing. When not packing, my jeans don't feel like they fit right. And then of course, that feeling of something missing is distressing. That feeling is reminiscent of when I tried to dress and act like women do, and because of that, I rarely go out without it even though I'm the only one knows that it's there. -Michael

Karen, THANK YOU for your generous gift of time, effort and money in reaching out to someone who needed it the most!

Hiya Michael. If other People cannot accept You for You, then Young Man, They are the One's who have got the Problem's. Being MtoF Myself, if other People cannot accept Me, that is Their Problem. I Am Fully; Full-Time; Female Living; and Dressing; as I have been Now, for over 15 Month's. Michael, as long as You are comfortable as Yourself Young Man, that is what matters ! Michael, Be Happy Young Man, Take Care, And My Very Best Wishes, Big Hugs, Love Stephanie. xxxxxxxx

Lisa, Congrats on taking this step :-) It's great that you seem to have a supportive work environment, I know from my own experience how valuable that is. Xoxo Chrissy

Emma, Congrats on the milestone! I'm trying to conceptualize 100 miles, but can't! I guess it's like going from here to the Jersey Shore, that's very impressive! Xoxo Chrissy

Dear Stephanie, I'm sorry to hear about your arthritis. It's such a debilitating disease. Yes, I have rested today, took a nap. But really, I'm fine. Thank you so much for your kind words both here and to everyone else on TGGuide. You always have such nice things to say and you're very appreciated. Thank you, Stephanie. Emma

Hiya " Sweet " Emma Sweet. Honey, Congratulations on Your Cycle of over 100 Miles. Because of Osteo-Arthritis, I Am no longer able to cycle, or walk for any type of distance. But, when A Friend, such as You Emma, achieves a Great Distance like over 100 Miles, It makes Me feel Very Proud of You. Emma, Well Done. Now, You need to rest a bit. Emma, Take Care, And My Very Best Wishes, Big Hugs, Love Stephanie. xxxxxxxx

Hi Michele, we are all rooting for you and wishing you well. I'll not advise that you take care of yourself but I am certainly thinking it. Let us know how it all turns out. Best wishes, Emma

Hey Jay, "And I'm not trying to be a 'typical male' - because there is no such thing." I seem to be in a quoting mood today (see my comment to Lisa a moment ago). But anyway, I think you're right on in all of your comments and how you present yourself: you are just yourself, simple as that. I think that's how we'd all like to be, just ourselves, take it or leave it. That takes a bravery that I don't have at least outside of our home, and I commend you. Bravo! Emma

Dear Lisa, "I will deal with it like I always have, with grace, love and kindness." I have no doubt of that, you're terrific, and I'm very happy to hear of your progress. Emma

Thank you all so much!! I will be posting more. It's been a lot to tackle. I knew that July would be extremely stressful and emotionally challenging for me. But I feel so much better and finally free to be me!

Hiya Michele. You Young Lady, are Definitely NOT UGLY. You are a Very Beautiful; Pretty; Young Lady, and You are Definitely Cute ! You are far more Lovely than Me ! Mind You, I Am getting Old !! Michele, I understand Your concern's over Chemotherapy, I have had So Many Friend's, and Relatives who have gone through it. I Did Not Know, that You have gone through Cancer before. Young Lady, You I Know, are very independent, and I Am very similar in that sense. I Am very independent, and used to doing thing's for Myself. I do Not make for being a very patient Patient !! L.O.L. Michele, I Sincerely hope, that You have NOT got cancer. However, You Know, that I Am routeing for You Honey. Michele, having Your Mother visiting, and Not wanting to tell Her - Very Hard ! Michele, Good Luck, Take Care Sweetheart, Big Hugs, And My Very Best Wishes, Love Stephanie. xxxxxxxx

Hi there Steph No my mom is visiting. I worked in an oncology ward when I was a nurse. Operative word was. I also have cancer in my family, and would prefer the worst part of work to be over before finding out that chemo is the next step. That is the part freaking me out. My luscious locks will be effected and I definitely will be crying once the diagnoses starts. Not my first cancer scare, and the part where death becomes me, isnt the scary part. Made peace with that millennia ago. Okay, here my vanity comes in, even though I don't view myself as super model hot, I don't think I'm unsightly ugly just naturally more to the proportional side of average to beautiful, make that cuteish. The thing that will surprise most people are: 1. I've alwys been the caretaker when someone fell ill 2. Even when I fell ill, no one was supposed or still are suppose to touch me, as I will and can take care of myself 3. I'm not the best person to treat at home, because I'll make myself comfortable and expect worying eyes to just buzz off. 4. If I need help I will give specific instructions just for that instance. So I know people mean good when assisting me, but it irritates me more the you could imagine. Tha​nks for the well wishes, will work it out in time when where and how I'll be immobile. Hugs Michele

Hiya Michele. I Am Sorry My Darling, that You have found a lump, where a lump Did Not ought to be. Because there is Cancer in My Own Family, ( Big-Time ), if I find a lump, it has to be checked out by the Doctor's immediately. Michele, I Am going to make a suggestion. How about measuring the size of the lump, writing it down in a notepad, then, maybe 3 Day's later, re-checking the size, to see if it has altered, but, still making a note, and doing this, until You are able to get it Properly checked-out. Sweetheart, It Is Only Natural, that You are going to be Worried, and Apprehensive. You Would Not bebHuman, and Female to go with It, so You are bound to Worry. Michele Honey, We Know that You are a Very Hard Worker, but, Please get it Checked-Out, WHEN You Can. If You Need to Talk, or Anything Else, You Know Where I Am. I Know You have got Your Mother staying with You as well, and that Can be Stressful, when You are So Busy At Work, and then having the Lump as well. Michele, Good Luck Sweetheart. Take Care Honey, Because I Care !! And My Very Best Wishes Michele, to You, and Your Family. Big Hugs, and Love, Stephanie. xxxxxxxx

Hi Lisa I love the way you tackling the world. Sounds like I can take some hints from you when I need to get some fuel to continue. Stay strong ma'am, your supporters are routing for you. Hugs Michele