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TG Guide has been my "home away from home" also. It's very rare that I don't sign in. And yes, I feel bonds with people here too. It is comforting to know that I can come here and read posts and makes post knowing that most everyone here understands most everyone else. There is little judgementalness, and there is always someone with an encouraging word, or a sympathetic word. Ooh... and nail polish does not the woman make. That's in your heart. The polish is just so much window dressing -Michael

Another delightful thread. About Halloween and costumes, I have had the opportunity to wear several costumes lately, Green Lantern, Superman (Pink for Cancer Version), an elf and Avatar and of course as a woman(But not lately). In the last three years, I have been able to go to almost a dozen parties and face paint the kids. (I usually wear a costume/s) Besides doing the kids I usually face paint myself and paint additional examples of my work on my own arm. Rainbows, butterfly's, stars, animals and super heroes. I love to do this. It is my feminine arty nature coming out. I have now been requested at various fairs and I ask for donations. I give the money to children's programs. I too am in my 60's - still enjoying life, stretching myself and taking risks. About the first thoughts - To me being Transgender doesn't have to mean being female rather it means being closer to the attributes that are labeled as female. I now feel that my condition, who I am, is not a learned thing but rather in-bedded in my DNA. I have always been an explorer; this is my nature. Also, I visualize colors, experience touch sensations and sense sounds in a way that I believe is a female frame of mind. I remember when I found myself putting on my first feminine outfit at about six or seven years. It was a yellow sun suit with green flower embroidery on it. This along with my longer hair made me look like a girl. That was an image etched in my mind. I wore the sun suit and I wanted to show the world it was me inside it, wearing it. It was the little person, girl, me, and it was there before I ever put the item of clothing on. So the article of clothing/adornment brought out my nature and it was what is considered feminine. As I grew up took me forever to mature - most of my life my maleness consisted of being a Pixie or a Peter Pan. I also often masked some of my feelings about wanting a female body by being a clown. The clown gets to wear almost anything and can make people laugh. As a male I did not laugh. The closest I ever felt to being a male was in my Indian heritage. Wearing minimal clothing and being highly adorned. As a kid, I always felt more at home in my own skin when I was wearing feminine styled clothing. Going against the norm (Accepted by most) I am more female than most males. I have been hit on a lot - most want me because of some homosexual attraction. I am not homo. I too hate most of the base male characteristics. Dirty, unkempt, Cursing, corralling. So I am closer to female, but not female, transgender. Have a great day! Dawn

Hi Kitrah, Indeed, that's a pretty dress, and if I was your age or younger and single, it would be fun to wear. I'm happily married and sixty (but not too old looking! 😄) so I tend to want a little more conservative look. Emma

Dear Emma, Have always loved VELVET and VELOUR. Growing up, as a teen, I received a beautiful hand me down from the 1950's, a purple velvet skirt from a cousin. Presently I am thinking about buying a velour long sleeved blouse in Christmas colors from Woman Within or Roaman's. Have always been a fan of COLOR and TEXTURE! Your friend, Monica

Hi Kitrah, Thank you for your feedback. You make a lot of good points and I agree with you on the litmus (or any objective) test for what it means to think as a female. I just walked for a couple of hours to/from a coffee shop and thought about this a lot. It is fair to say that in my life I've spent a lot of energy considering "what I'm supposed to be/act" as a male in my career, friendships, and socially. I felt like a chameleon. But it often felt forced, insincere. Especially over the last couple of years I've made a conscious decision to just be me without so much filtering and supervision. And overall that's felt good. And in that and in consideration of my historical thinking and behavior I'd say it's a fair bet that I do in fact think in a more feminine way. As I consider men and women that I'm around it is apparent to me that there is a lot of overlap. Not outwardly so much but in thinking and behaviors. When I think about myself as female I think I would be at the more feminine end of the spectrum which is at least partly why I chose my last name to be Sweet. That's what I'd like to be. Earlier today I ordered this dress on Amazon: Urban CoCo Women long sleeve V-neck Velvet Stretchy Long Dress. As I considered it I thought about what I would wear with it, a slip, stockings, shoes. But mostly how it would feel. I realized that I can well imagine how a woman would contemplate the dress and I think that underscores what you're saying too. Emma

Thank you ladies. Loneliness does indeed touch us all at times...but it's a little easier to shoulder when there are people like you all around. Maybe if I had been here on TG Guide back then, that poem might never have been written. I've considered TG Guide like a haven online. I was "sheltered" so to speak by the woman who invited me here from another transgender site. Over time, she has faded into the background, but not before I learned from her how to moderate. She doesn't come around so often anymore...in fact, very rarely. Over time it's people like you all who have filled the void. As I'm sure you all know, acceptance means nearly everything, and for the most part, I have always felt accepted as the man that life outside of this forum doesn't even know exists. "Never had I seen such a touching poem about loneliness by a man!" -Monica LOL... I guess it doesn't matter if a guy is transgender or cisgender, too many of us have a tendancy to keep things bottled up. I never realized it, but my g/f has addressed this with me on several occasions, and even my own brother has expressed a concern about it. But I guess every once in a while if the moon and stars are lined up just right, that bottle gets opened up, and all kinds of stuff comes pouring out. Love all of ya's - Michael

Dawn, In my opinion, men don't want to be TOO good-looking, for fear of attracting Gaymale attention. They aspire to looking rugged, and they put their attention into excelling in sports, and, later, into making a good living, in order to attract beautiful women. Teamwork is emphasized with boys and men, while individualism (women competing with other women) as women want to be "chosen" by the man of her choice. As my dear mother, may God rest her soul, would say, "men think they choose the girl, but it is really the girl choosing the man, but letting him THINK he chose her!" Monica