Leaderboard

Yesterday I was once more sent to the psychiatrist for her thoughts on who I am and what medication would help my depression, anxiety, and autism. She also does not know I am trans since every session a guardian has to be present in case I am dangerous or if I lie about something.we discussed how my last medication made me basically a zombie, half asleep when awake and sleeping whenever I could, and how it increased my depression. She discussed either increasing the dosage or stopping it all together. She also discussed how she thought I was lying about the effects of the medication since I have been through 3 categories and none have helped. That shocked me since I've only been on four medications from her. Of course I'm not lying! I wanna get better as much as the next person! Anyway, that was all a hassle to get me to panic. I believe she wanted to see how it affected me which is plain ridiculous. I didn't really react externally, I remained stoic as always and stared at the floor. In the end, I got a new medication which I don't think it's necessary to say the name of. Another interesting thing has happened. As you should now from my previous posts, I am out at school and not at home. It's been easy so far, good for me. But now a new principal has been assigned and he is a friend of my parents. Hopefully, he never finds out since I look quite different from the last he saw me, new glasses, shorter hair, taller, skinnier. Plus the principals at my school hardly interact with specific students unless they get in trouble and I'm a goody two shoes so i shouldn't have to worry. The whole new principal fiasco is the only thing making me nervous for the new school year. I'm one of the odd children who enjoys school, not because seeing my friends, but because I get to learn and it gives me a routine. Being autistic a routine is very important. Sadly, I have several months until school starts again and between then and now I have a wedding where a dress is in order.

I'm sorry to read about your interactions and situation with your psychiatrist. Amazing that she would accuse you of lying, and would insist that you have anyone else present. My suggestion is to have another meeting with her and your guardian present, and calmly explain that you need to see her privately, that you don't feel comfortable having anyone else in the room. If she's uncomfortable with that maybe there is a way for the guardian to be just outside on call in case of need. That seems to be a reasonable request and hopefully she and your guardian will see it that way. After all, you do see your therapist privately. But then, if she does meet with you privately, you need to gain her commitment to keep your discussions private, that in fact, you are highly concerned about having any of your feelings known outside of the room. If she agrees, fine. If not, I think that here again and unfortunately, you need to see a different psychiatrist. Let me also add that I've been on a variety of psychological medications and none worked for me. To me that speaks more to my depression being less about some chemical imbalance and more about issues that needed to be brought out in therapy. Some psychiatrists are bought into the school of thought that chemicals are everything and here again if she feels that way then she's not a good psychiatrist. As for school and the wedding all I can say is take it a day at a time. I don't recall how old you are but I do remember for me that it seemed to take forever to turn 18, then 21, and so forth. But looking back on it now I can say that time really does pass, and you will make it.

Hi CTF, and welcome to TGG. I was about to toss out a barrage of questions and comments... but the ladies have pretty much covered everything. I would add a couple more things for you to consider - part of your therapist's job is to help you transition into society as the man you identify as. I would be curious to know how she is being helpful to you, when she herself is not recognizing you as a man. It seems to me, based on what you've related, she is just flat ignoring your identity. I don't know what it means when you say your therapist is a contractural therapist, but I would think there would be some guidelines and ethics she is bound to follow and uphold. If your therapist can't start using your preferred pronouns and chosen name... you should definitely find another. I realize the number of sessions you are allowed is limited, but I would think a limited time with a decent therapist would far out-weigh a full course with one who could potentially be damaging to your self-confidence, self-esteem, and identity by her refusal to respect you. -Michael

Accusing you of lying was very unprofessional. I'm sorry that you had to experience that. Unfortunately psychiatrists are more medically trained so sometimes they aren't as good at actual therapy. I agree with Emma about speaking with the psychiatrist privately but realize that your age and guardianship status might make that impossible. If it's not possible then I just encourage you to remember that you will reach a point when you can act by yourself for yourself! It might seem far off, but it will happen. In the meantime at least you have some outlet for personal expression at school and you have this community here 😀 Xoxo Chrissy

Hi CTF, As always I appreciate Michael's clear writing and hope it helps you. I also suggest that you take a look at this post I just made in the FTM Discussion area, and read the linked article. I put it into the FTM folder because that's it main story but I feel it gives any of us an example of a happy real life story.

I have a therapist to help with my anxiety and depression that partner my autism. It runs in the family so I'm in therapy along with testing many different medications. Thank you for the advice, I've been thinking about stopping for a while.

I know you said you can't afford to change, and I don't know all of what your therapy involves, but if there is any way to make a change I would do it. Not respecting your gender and name is simply unacceptable. What kind of professional background does she have? I can't speak to other professions, but if she is a social worker she's violating professional ethics.

Glad to hear that you are seeing a therapist. I have some thoughts on your post: - Does she have experience and training with trans people? Most don't. - Have you asked her why she's not using your male name and pronouns? It's a reasonable question. - How do you feel about working with her? Not all therapists have what we need, and sometimes we simply don't have the right chemistry to work together. Perhaps you should go see another? Even that topic is fair for you to bring up with her for discussion. - How did she respond when you told her that you are trans? Did she ask you for more info such as what convinced you? I guess that changing therapists might bring up some discussion with you and your parents. They would ask why, and what you are looking for. So you need to be prepared for that. I'm not suggesting that you immediately try to stop seeing one and move to another. First, please talk to your therapist about how her use of your female name and pronouns is bothering you and what it's bringing up for you. Remember, please, she cannot read your mind and as with any relationship, open, honest, and sincere communication is vitally important.