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*waves* Heya Emma! Lovely to see you looking happy and having a great time on the great adventure! And I firmly believe that waxing was created as some form of torture and they found cosmetic applications for it later. *laughs*

Hey Bree! I was recently wondering where you were. I did have a great time, thank you. And, I've had my brows waxed again. No big deal! I don't know about legs and all, I suppose I'll wait to see if hormones are the way to go for me and if so I'll venture down that path I'm sure. Welcome back! Emma

Charlotte is a very pretty name... I like it a lot because it's not so common and it's unmistakenly feminine. And of course you can change your name to whatever suits you. It's your name! I think I wrote a blog post some years back about my choice of Emma that you may find interesting. Edits: I found my blog post from almost three years ago about my name. You might find it interesting, or not! http://tgguide.com/message/blogs/entry/707-nom-de-femme/

Welcome to TGGuide! I look forward to hearing about your transition :-) Xoxo Chrissy

Hey Chrissy, Great for you! Have a blast! Emma

If it is a side effect that will go away hopefully it will taper over time so that you won't have to wait 2 weeks to see :-(

Sorry to hear this. Presumably she is starting you on a low dose and intending to "titrate" you up gradually? I suggest that you check to see if you're on a higher initial dose than what is normally prescribed. After all, people need to live their lives while starting and taking their medications. That's only reasonable. But I hear you about returning to see her; she doesn't seem to have much patience. Hopefully you'll start feeling better and less groggy in a couple of days.

Accusing you of lying was very unprofessional. I'm sorry that you had to experience that. Unfortunately psychiatrists are more medically trained so sometimes they aren't as good at actual therapy. I agree with Emma about speaking with the psychiatrist privately but realize that your age and guardianship status might make that impossible. If it's not possible then I just encourage you to remember that you will reach a point when you can act by yourself for yourself! It might seem far off, but it will happen. In the meantime at least you have some outlet for personal expression at school and you have this community here 😀 Xoxo Chrissy

I'm sorry to read about your interactions and situation with your psychiatrist. Amazing that she would accuse you of lying, and would insist that you have anyone else present. My suggestion is to have another meeting with her and your guardian present, and calmly explain that you need to see her privately, that you don't feel comfortable having anyone else in the room. If she's uncomfortable with that maybe there is a way for the guardian to be just outside on call in case of need. That seems to be a reasonable request and hopefully she and your guardian will see it that way. After all, you do see your therapist privately. But then, if she does meet with you privately, you need to gain her commitment to keep your discussions private, that in fact, you are highly concerned about having any of your feelings known outside of the room. If she agrees, fine. If not, I think that here again and unfortunately, you need to see a different psychiatrist. Let me also add that I've been on a variety of psychological medications and none worked for me. To me that speaks more to my depression being less about some chemical imbalance and more about issues that needed to be brought out in therapy. Some psychiatrists are bought into the school of thought that chemicals are everything and here again if she feels that way then she's not a good psychiatrist. As for school and the wedding all I can say is take it a day at a time. I don't recall how old you are but I do remember for me that it seemed to take forever to turn 18, then 21, and so forth. But looking back on it now I can say that time really does pass, and you will make it.

Hi CTF, As always I appreciate Michael's clear writing and hope it helps you. I also suggest that you take a look at this post I just made in the FTM Discussion area, and read the linked article. I put it into the FTM folder because that's it main story but I feel it gives any of us an example of a happy real life story.

Hi CTF, and welcome to TGG. I was about to toss out a barrage of questions and comments... but the ladies have pretty much covered everything. I would add a couple more things for you to consider - part of your therapist's job is to help you transition into society as the man you identify as. I would be curious to know how she is being helpful to you, when she herself is not recognizing you as a man. It seems to me, based on what you've related, she is just flat ignoring your identity. I don't know what it means when you say your therapist is a contractural therapist, but I would think there would be some guidelines and ethics she is bound to follow and uphold. If your therapist can't start using your preferred pronouns and chosen name... you should definitely find another. I realize the number of sessions you are allowed is limited, but I would think a limited time with a decent therapist would far out-weigh a full course with one who could potentially be damaging to your self-confidence, self-esteem, and identity by her refusal to respect you. -Michael

I have a therapist to help with my anxiety and depression that partner my autism. It runs in the family so I'm in therapy along with testing many different medications. Thank you for the advice, I've been thinking about stopping for a while.

As far as I know she is a contractual therapist but I don't know much more since she doesn't really share much about her life.

​I am not familiar with autism and how it affects ones ability to stand up for oneself; that has to be tough but also familiar to therapists. Her brushing you off even as she also knows you're autistic is a concern for me. As Chrissy said it doesn't seem to make sense to spend the limited number of sessions that you have coverage with someone who isn't really helping. That said, what do you want help with from a therapist? What problem(s) do you want to focus on? I assume that something came up that drove you. In your writing you sound very grounded: you know you're autistic, trans, etc. Perhaps by looking at what drove you to seek therapy and judging if and how well you're making progress toward that you will be able to determine for yourself if you should continue to see her or stop and seek out an alternate therapist.

I know you said you can't afford to change, and I don't know all of what your therapy involves, but if there is any way to make a change I would do it. Not respecting your gender and name is simply unacceptable. What kind of professional background does she have? I can't speak to other professions, but if she is a social worker she's violating professional ethics.

She likely doesn't but she speaks like she has had trans clients before. I have not asked considering I don't like confrontation and it's hard for me to have conversations because of my autism. I have thought about seeing another therapist but I cannot afford to change at the time since my insurance is paying for my therapy and it only allows a certain amount of sessions (I have 8 left). I have expressed to her my annoyance at her not properly naming me and she seems to brush it off.

Glad to hear that you are seeing a therapist. I have some thoughts on your post: - Does she have experience and training with trans people? Most don't. - Have you asked her why she's not using your male name and pronouns? It's a reasonable question. - How do you feel about working with her? Not all therapists have what we need, and sometimes we simply don't have the right chemistry to work together. Perhaps you should go see another? Even that topic is fair for you to bring up with her for discussion. - How did she respond when you told her that you are trans? Did she ask you for more info such as what convinced you? I guess that changing therapists might bring up some discussion with you and your parents. They would ask why, and what you are looking for. So you need to be prepared for that. I'm not suggesting that you immediately try to stop seeing one and move to another. First, please talk to your therapist about how her use of your female name and pronouns is bothering you and what it's bringing up for you. Remember, please, she cannot read your mind and as with any relationship, open, honest, and sincere communication is vitally important.

Hey CT! Welcone to TGGuide! Good idea to start a blog, write down what's going on in your life and gender journey. It's heloed many of us tremendously. You say your from a very religious family; this video by Mark Yarhouse, where he is telling religious leadership about transgender and gender dysphoria, may be interesting for you: http://qideas.org/videos/transgender-1/ Please feel welcome to look around our forums and blogs, add your voice and questions wherever you'd like. We're here to help each other. Emma

Welcome to TGGuide! It sounds like you have some real challenges, I'm sure you'll find a lot of support here

Hi Chrissy, Gender Odyssey (http://www.genderodyssey.org/) is, from what I can tell and have been told, is an excellent conference for all transgender people. I've been encouraged that it's much more than a supportive and fun environment to present en femme, which is how another recent conference in Port Angeles was described. Check it out! Let me know if by chabce you can come, I'd love to meet you in person. Emma

When I did my legal name change last year I had a count of 50+ places that I had to make the update (then I stopped counting, it was too stressful), but you're right, it does keep coming up. I haven't even thought as much about who has records of my gender! (Aside from the obvious ones, drivers license, birth certificate, etc.). When I contacted North Carolina State Univ. (where I did my undergrad) to change my name they actually asked if I wanted to update my gender as well - it hadn't occurred to me that they would even have that, but it makes sense. I throw that story in partly to show that even in North Carolina not everyone is transphobic :-) (Of course my sister lives there now, and she is transphobic, oh well)

That all sounds great :-) I can definitely relate to the fear and exhilaration- personally I didn't consider it to be a line between the two, I just saw it as both things happening at the same time. There is a lot to be excited about, and a lot to be afraid of - but overall living authentically is worth it all!!! What is Gender Odyssey? I'm planning to go to the Trans Health Conference in Philadelphia again this year, this time on the professional track (since i'm a social work student it seemed right)

Dear Emma, Absolutely love your pictures! May I suggest you get a Season/color evaluation. Every woman should get this. Your friend, Monica

I like the name Warren a lot, Warren. It's serious, steadfast, and trustworthy. But also warm, with great big hugs for friends and family. I like it also that while it's immediately recognizable it's also not common. It's all yours! And thank you so much for telling me that Emma Sweet is adorable. I love it. That's exactly what I hope people feel about me and my name. Best, Emma

Love the name emma Took me a long while to decide on mine. I dont remember exactly how I settled on Warren, to be honest. I know that it means 'defender of friends' which was fitting, since I'm always defending and taking care of other people, even ones I hardly know. The full name I had settled on was Warren Renexius (was my online name for several years, AND a book character I created) Ornan (my dads middle name). It's sort of long, but I've learned to love it :3 Emma Sweet is adorable! -Warren