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Dear Chrissy, Interesting that you bring that up, as I am giving a talk about "community," at Fantasia Fair in two weeks. As a cisgender Lesbian, I watched the Lesbian community become absorbed by the community at large (assimilated). Feel strongly this disempowered the Lesbian community, as evidenced by the disappearance of Lesbian bookstores. Sadly, I have to seek community by attending transgender support groups and conferences. Am very grateful for the outreach of the transgender community. In Florida, as well as in New York, I have observed some people who transitioned, leave the group. Feel the group's job is to empower people to go on to the next step in their lives. Hopefully they keep the friends they made in the group. Don't think it is healthy to remain in any kind of support group for a lifetime as this shows the person made little or no growth. What concerns me is when there are no support groups when people need them the most. Feel that people need face to face support and that online support should be secondary to face to face support. When I moved to trans and homophobic upstate New York, I am grateful to find a welcoming transgender support and conference group. Why am I not in a Lesbian in a transgender support group? There is none convenient to where I live (I do not drive). I find support wherever I can find it! Thank you, my dear friends in TGGuide and Fantasia Fair, for being there for me when I most needed it. Will always be grateful for your friendship! Your friend, Monica

Michelle, I also have two sons that I have somewhat distant relationships with. The older (33) is kind of stand-offish, very sensitive to anything I might say, and invulnerable. The younger (29) vacillates between horribly depressed and fairly steady. He resists getting and holding onto a job because his mother (we divorced over 20 years ago) rescues him with money frequently although every single psychologist has advised that that is the exact opposite thing to do. These relationships have been painful for me especially as I know that I played my own negative role as I was so depressed and uncertain myself during their childhood. But I was also much closer to them that my father was to me and hey, I turned out all right - I think! I'm so happy for you to get your insurance license and wish you the best in finding a job that you enjoy. Take care, Emma

This topic came up in a recent post on Joanna Santos’ blog, "Musings From My Everyday Life" as well. I think Chrissy explained it much better than Joanna or me. I feel the same way as her and I’ve also wondered about it. I love it here at TGGuide but otherwise I just want to get on with my life. My main friends are cisgender women, some gay, some straight. I seem to fit right in with women as friends and I love that. All that said, tonight I’m going out to dinner with two cis women who have transgender daughters. After, we’re going to see Janet Mock give a talk! It’s getting more chilly in Seattle so I’m looking forward to wearing a new jacket I bought at Nordstrom Rack a couple of weeks ago. Emma P.S. I would also like to add how much I appreciate Chrissy, Monica, and Michelle, as well as all others here. It’s been three years for me at TGG and its helped me so much. BTW, My first name is Emma. I originally coined "Sweet" as an anonymous last name that also, I hoped, reflected my disposition. These days I'm often using my family name Gray. My full name is Emma Joy Gray!

I too have been mulling over the concept of community more for the cross-dressing folks like me, but it could also apply to interested LGBT folks. My original idea was more like a retirement sorority house for us older CD's where we could live together and support one another. Then the idea of a commune came up where we would each have our own houses, but be in the same area. i don't know, it would just be nice to have our own little world where we could be ourselves and be with people who understand and we could just be friends and have fun together. Like an LGBT utopia. Nice to think about anyway. And yes, I think Monica is right about having more face-to-face contact with like minded people. Anyway, for now, I too am grateful for TGGuide and the friends I have met her e. Thanks Monica and Chrissy and EmmaSweet.

Dear Karen, The jacket probably had an interim discount. You look great! Also, you seem to have great friends! Your friend, Monica

Happy anniversary!!!