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We still have a long way to go in this country. Your encounter, unfortunately, is pretty typical of what you get for feedback. I don't think that anyone who is not trans really has any understanding of what it's all about.

Emma, I'll take any book suggestion you have. I am a non-discriminatory reader. My time is somewhat limited now, but I always like fo have a good book going.

Thanks, guys. It's a comfort to know you are there for me. I hold you in my heart.

Dear Friends, Just because you have known a person for a long time, doesn't mean they will grow parallel to you. Emma, I hate to say this, but this man hasn't grown much since the first grade when you knew him. By the way, education does not always imply maturity. When I attended my 10 year high school reunion, I was amazed that those who attended looked and acted as if they graduated YESTERDAY. Asked to be taken off the mailing list! When I moved to Dutchess County, I reunited with a friend of mine from high school and I wondered why I was ever friends with her. She did not look or act like she had grown at all, and she and I had graduated 40 years ago! My youngest brother, he claimed he did not recognize me on an emotional or physical level in the ten years we were out of touch. Took this as a compliment! The upshot is that we all grow at different rates and directions. Even if we compare ourselves to ourselves, every ten years every cell in our body is replaced, and if we are growing at a healthy pace, we should show significant differences every ten years. Even when I look at myself from six months ago, a year ago or two years ago, I see significant change in myself. By the way, that man was just plain RUDE! Your friend, Monica

Dear MichelleLea, Emma and Chrissy, When my mother lost my father due to heart disease, she joined an organization called, "Widow to Widow," which was free, run by a woman psychologist. My mother got a lot out of it, but the greatest thing she got out of it was that the grieving period should last no more than two years. This is the point that the widow should clear out and give to charity the unusable property of the deceased partner. The psychologist said it was unhealthy to grieve beyond two years, and that the survivor should get counseling. Hope this helps. Your friend, Monica

Dear Chrissy, Strongly feel that transwomen are "real" women, and those that identify as Lesbian are "real" Lesbians, as well as those that are Straight women. Have always looked in between the ears ("character counts"). This also goes for transmen. Want to emphasize I feel this way both about pre-op and post-op, pre-hormones and post hormones. Somehow, I can sense the gender and sexual orientation ("gaydar") energy of people, and beyond, the beyond I can not discuss here, as that would require a book! Have to accept that some others do not have this capability, and they have a lot of confusion about it. Just wished that people who do not understand something, did not feel the need to be hostile about it, but just accept that they do not understand it at this place and time. By the way, there are many things I do not understand, and I accept these things as things I do not understand yet. Hope that makes sense! Your friend, Monica

I can recommend many books. Tell me what you like and I’ll send titles! It’s to be expected that you’re feeling down. Sure, it’s fun and all to be on your own, to dress when and how you like. But longer term you’re without your wife and that is sad. Give yourself the patience, caring, and support you need to work it out. It may take quite a while, there is no certain path or timeline. I wish you well, sleep tight, Emma