Hugs to you MichelleLea. The human condition isn't an easy path. Sometimes just knowing that other people care is the difference that keeps you putting one foot in front of the other. I'm so sorry for your loss and sadness. Hang in there.
Adding my voice to Monica's and Lori's, MichelleLea, I can't imagine trying to weather what all you're going through. That "aloneness" is real and so understandable. There is no straight line through grief and some will say that you just have to give it time which is little solace. I agree with Lori that I hope that knowing you have supportive friends here will help you even a little. One step in front of the other... definitely. Don't allow yourself to isolate yourself too much. Connections to others is so important. Perhaps you can find people with similar interests on Meetup.com. Hugs, Emma
Dear MichelleLea, Am also a fan of Star Trek, Dr. Neil De DGrasse Tyson, Dr. Stephen Hawking and Winston Churchill (big WW I and II history fan). Every couple have their difficulties, by the courageous couples work things through. Time is your friend, and you are slowly healing. Your friend, Monica