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Although I have shared my coming out over the past week, I wanted to write a little more about it here. It has been almost a year and a half since my wife died, and I became free to express my feminine side, albeit secretly. In the process, I have been able to share my evolution with the online community of sisters and have received much-needed support and encouragement along the way. Thank you. Recently, however, I have increasingly felt that I need to open up about my secret life to some of the people close to me. It began a week ago with lunch with my lady friends from my previous employment and continued yesterday when I opened up to my sister. Both instances were very positive and encouraging. I truly feel like a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders, and I feel like a new person with a new life. I have no immediate plans to come out to any additional family members at this point. If they find out, that's okay. I'll deal with it. I don't have anything to hide, and I'm happy with who I am. The journey continues.

Yeah, a very understandable concern that I shared. I decided to come out because: I imagined laying on my death bed heartbroken that I'd squandered my opportunity, wishing that I'd stood up for myself. They say that you find out who is truly a friend and those who're less so. I lost a few friends, fewer than 5-10. We never know how much quality time we have left. Time to make hay while the sun shines. Is it really selfish to claim and be your authentic self? Not at all in my book. You're being true to yourself. If you lose a friend(s) they were friendly with the false you. It's scary to come out, certainly. I am not saying that you should or should not. I know trans women who hope the world will change to fully embrace them. I think they have their priorities out of order. We first have to learn to embrace ourselves regardless of external affirmations. The world follows, naturally attracted to happy and authentic people.

I know what you mean about not hurting anyone. Should I be honest and true and shatter a friends illusion or not? I want to be authentic but not for selfish reasons--well, maybe. In my case, so far, so good.

Good for you! Bravo! I gradually came out to everyone in my life over about a year, and kept a list on my iPhone until I was beyond about 50. It was fun for me to examine my list from time to time. I know now that I was feeling pride in my being authentic. Follow your feelings and heart. You don’t “have” to come out to everyone nor do you have to publicly present as a woman, transition... If you will, take small bites, consider them slowly, and think about taking more. There’s no rush, really, although at my age I felt some pressure to make hay while the sun shines. Have fun, too. It’s scary at times to be trans but it’s such a thrill ride to finally be one’s authentic self after so many years of shame and oppression. P.S. Nice photo! You look terrific!

I saw my sister today and told her that I was trans. She was lovely. Lots of questions. Now she plans to find out more on her own. She told me that she always wanted a sister. Wasn't that sweet? Feeling good tonight.