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Thanks for your sage wisdom as always. Yes. I am aware of the dangers and am not even sure at this point if it will work out. At the same token, I am ready for a change and am heading west. I have a son not that far away in California, and yes, if I do settle in Eugene as I plan, we will get together.

Good for you. We spend so much of our lives fretting about diving into the deep end. As trans women we know that all too well. Is your move risky? Of course it is. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I was born, raised, and called California my home until just over two years ago. I wonder where your son is located. From my perspective California is a nice place to visit but Oregon and Washington are where to settle. At least in the more liberal areas such as the Seattle and Puget Sound area. I hope it all goes fabulously for you in Eugene, I mean that.

Dear MichelleLea, Be careful making longterm/permanent plans with someone who has a history of going hot and cold. If I were you, I would focus on building a circle of friends, both face to face as well as online. Have you explored why you are drawn to this woman or why you are attracted to the idea of having a "mistress?" Do you know her backstory as to why she needs a "slave?" Fear this arrangement may invite abuse. Your friend, Monica