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This past weekend I was part of a discussion about transition and digital identities. Since I've been taking a really deep introspective dive through my digital identity in Second Life, and through this community and on various forms of Social Media. I had thoughts. Assuming you are expressing yourself genuinely (as opposed to deliberately playing the role of a character separate from you), then however that expression presents is *valid*. Even if you're presenting in with a different name and a different face through media. The words you choose come from you. it's a part of you, and that is a legitimate facet of your own identity. Don't let anyone tell you different. Also, if you're exploring your digital identity, it remains yours. These components of yourself that you're trying on, they're intimate to you. They belong to you. It's ok for the journey you take to evolve along the way. If you discover that a part of identity that seemed so right when you first began doesn't work for you, allow it to change. This is all a process and as everyone who is further along on their journey would tell you, it can take most of a lifetime to discover who you are. Especially when you're shedding the toxic parts of yourself you hung on to because you wished to fit in with the expectations of others. Think of it this way, it's taken you this long to learn how to present yourself as the person you show to the outside world. You've learned how to speak, how to dress, what to say and how to *be* the person you are now. Sometimes that includes self-delusion, other times toxic gender traits but by the time you've come to the point where you are ready to explore the identity traits you've denied all of your life, those traits are rooted deep inside you. It will take a proportional amount of time to change them, and in that process you may believe that what you wanted at the start is what you need at the end. Have faith in yourself. Trust yourself. Listen to the people who love you, listen to the people who support you. Disregard the people who only love what *they* want you to be. I know this reads like I'm talking to you dear reader when, truth be told, I'm talking to me. At this point in my journey, I'm mostly exploring my gender and sexual identities through digital means. (mostly, not exclusively, I'm out to a few very dear and close friends and family and my therapist who are all here in the very non-digital world.) There is a measure of safety and comfort for me to use the digital identity tool to understand myself. I wonder if it will lead to me having the confidence to live this truth beyond the idealized image of Desiree as she presents now. Time, it seems, will tell.

I just noticed this blog entry Dezzy and thought it was really interesting. Other than my online name I arrived at the forum site as "questioning" and put no pressure on myself to behave or write a certain way. I struggled with 2nd life because I just found it so overwhelming, I made my avatar pretty (though I dont remember there being ugly options) but literally ignored anyone who tried to talk to me in total panic. That is pretty true to real life too! We don't really start out with prepackaged identity's in mind, they just sort of form as we interact - your humour, your writing style, your interests, are all what make you who you are to other people. Then your avatar, your name and your perceived/announced gender round that picture off. In my IRL FB socials I realised yesterday that my posting subjects and patterns unintentionally match the women that I interact with, even though I am not out - regular exercise selfies, beautiful scenery, children and humour posts. The men I know barely post anything at all outside of occasional hobby posts but no one has ever said anything about it. I just notice these things. I wondered when I came if I was swapping one mask for another, just to fit in, but as you can probably tell from my blogs, I write for myself and my own thought process; this is me without filters. Keep writing for yourself Desiree ❤️