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I am struggling to wrap the text around the image so I just punted it below. Here we have an obligatory bathroom selfie to prove that I know how to get dressed, even in a car by the side of the road, and a picture of me just about to enjoy the first ever Oatmilk Latte as DeeDee. I look a state because I was in one, masks and glasses and moving from cold air into warm and wigs and trying to say words I have never spoken in my higher voice.... just...breathe! The Barista put my name on the cup as "Eden" but while it was the wrong name it was the right gender. Iyt may seem small or inconsequential but one of my long, long term dreams has been to go out and simply enjoy a cup of coffee asDeeDee. I have been daydreaming about it for literally years, and today I made it a reality! It has taken me so long to get to the stage where I was not too embarrassed or self conscious to make small talk with the staff, I never imagined myself having to wear a mask, but I think I picked one that signalled my preferred gender pretty clearly. Today is the first time I have had multiple conversations with different people and they have either not "clocked" me or not cared enough to give me a second look. That my counsellor was just so complimentary about everything from my hair and face to my taste in clothes and the way I walk and carry myself (and she complimented my voice!) just helped to give me such a big boost. I literally "EEEEK'ed" in the car afterwards. ❤️ She was also very content to add a letter and send it back to the Gender team stating that I have clearly had long term dysphoria and would benefit moving forwards to HRT, how that works in Covidworld she does not know, but it is exciting!

Almost two months ago I received a message on a dating app: "You have a warm smile." I checked out her profile and we started messaging back and forth. In and of itself this was so amazing for me. I was on a half-dozen dating apps (the usual suspects) and mostly received messages that someone had looked at my profile. So what? They didn't hang out, follow up with me, did they? Also, of late, I've felt more satisfied with being single. Not resigned to it. Actually, pretty happy. But has so often happened in the past: when I'm not looking for love it flies in unexpectedly. And when I am looking for love it's probably best that I not find it because I'm carrying baggage. So, this woman and I made plans to talk on the phone for the first time. In preparation for that I reviewed her profile again. I wanted things to ask her about. I then looked at mine. I noticed that all of the text blocks said "in review." I'd been on that site for a couple of months. Why "in review"? And did that mean that people couldn't read my text where I unequivocally inform that I am transgender? I wasn't sure and decided to go ahead with our call and see if I could find out. That evening on the phone we had a great and fun conversation, with all sorts of topics. At one point she said, "So, when you were a girl..." Wow! Did this mean she saw (in my photos), voice, and tone me as a cis woman? I thought about asking her but didn't want to disrupt the flow of our conversation. We signed off after an hour and agreed to meet the following weekend for a coffee. Later that same evening I knew that I needed to put my cards on the table. It wasn't fair to her or me if there was any confusion about who I really am. I sent a text message to her, advising her that although she may be unaware that I am transgender. I wasn't apologetic, just frank in a friendly way. She quickly responded: she didn't care one way or the other. In the following weeks we've gotten together much more, for coffee, dinners at each other's homes, watching movies on TV. We're getting to know one another. So far so good! I think it's good that I wasn't in a needy place when we met. Although I still think of the future and hope for the best we never know what the future will bring. It's best to just stay in the moment and enjoy the ride...