I can’t stand this anymore. I hate myself so much. I hate myself because I’m crippled. I hate myself because I’m poor. I hate myself because I was the bottom of the bottom class. I hate myself because I’m transgender.
I can’t stand anything about myself anymore. There is nothing redeemable about this worthless corpse. I don’t warrant any kind of self worth. So many times I feel like leaving and going back to living on the streets. Dumpster diving for food. Filling up 2 liter bottles for water. It’s what’s familiar, what feels right, and what feels natural.
What else? I would probably end up using again. I deserve nothing better. I’m a freak. An abomination. An unwanted and unwelcome monster. There is nothing about me of value. The day I die will be the one and only day in my entire life that I ever did anything that was of value.