KarenPayne

Being it’s a new year a thought went through my head, I know what the monetary cost for preparing for surgery, actual surgery and after care but what is the cost over time? Well without going down to the penny I spent roughly $2,000 for a therapist, not enough to register for medications (insurance paid this), since 2000 spent roughly $4,000 for electrolysis, $7,000 on body enhancements. Now couple this with surgery and aftercare I figure a round number is $35.000. Let’s round this off to $50,000 and calculated this cost over the remainder of my life. I am currently 58 years old and at best would live to roughly 90 years old as I believe my genes are predominately my mother’s side of the family where the last three women averaged life is 95. Of course none of them smoked which I have but quitting but they did not have the better care of live available today so I am going to say I might live to 80 or 85. That comes to $3,200 ($266 per month) cost for the rest of my life which I feel is well worth it. Now with that said imagine you could pay for your transition this way. For some it is still unreachable which is sad. All who have considered to transition from male to female many times never take in the magnitude of the cost to transition. If I were doing this today at an early age I would (thinking I think like I do today) go to college, pick a profession that pays well and put my head to the grindstone to fund transitioning. Sure it is easy to say as there are many variables that could side track this but without a plan and goal all the wishing in the world will not make this happen but instead like many will fall asleep at night hoping to wake up in a female body is unrealistic as we all know this will not happen. Any ways with that said I don’t see the $266 spread out over time but instead the money spent put me where I should be and no amount of money can change this. When I made the final decision to transition I was focused like never before in my life, figured out what I needed to move forwarded and never looked back. Nothing like peace of mind.

Excellent point, communication is paramount to the success of a loving relationship.

We all know all to well that there are people that do not understand gay, lesbian and transgender people. With that said I consider New Year's Eve a time when you just might come in contact with them and if so there is always the chance of what I call "Gang/Group Mentality" where one person may start something and others will join in that would not normally join in if not in a group. Even though I am highly trained things can still go sideways, my guess is most people here are not highly train which puts you in harms way so please be careful.

Excellent, I very much appreciate you letting me know :-)

I just posted a new entry, would like to know if you got an alert if you do not mind

Yes there is a way to get updates in email via the "Follow" button at the top of the page. This explains it here https://wordpress.org/plugins/tags/follow-button

Since I am having random issue with writing here on my new laptop which I thought were fixed I am writing on the following site. It took just about 5 minute to write this out which is way to long http://paynekaren.wordpress.com By no means does this mean I am leaving here but simply can not fathom writing in pain after surgery like this

Well I am happy to announce that I just receive my new laptop and all appears to be working properly including copy and paste operations.

Happy holidays to you too!!!

I totally agree with you Lori, this is but another chapter of an ongoing journey which is best done with the assistance of others both professional and those who have taken this path already.

As Christmas gets closer it looks like I will not be spending time with any friends but will visit a friend on Christmas Eve. Why mention this? Because I am sure, there are many out there that may very well be depressed and that need not be. My decision is too keep busy so my plans are to a) setup my new laptop, which is scheduled for delivery tomorrow morning (I will turn it on tomorrow to make sure it functions) via two-day business delivery, have been tracking it, and is on time. b. Comcast is setting up XFINITY Entertainment package tomorrow, which will take time to setup c) play my favorite music that is uplifting while writing a technical article for Microsoft d) prepare a great meal for dinner e) chat with friends via phone to have interaction with others. Bottom line, I will be a happy girl. Side note, I upgraded my Comcast as my current DVR has limited space in that while in California it will get filled up before I get back so the new DVR has more space along with it can record 4 shows at once rather than the current one, 2 shows at once. It is costing me less than my current plan which is really a bonus. Happy Holidays to everyone :D

At my last therapist appointment, she learned that the printer was out of ink and would mail my letter out. She also mailed a copy down to Marci Bower, which I am grateful. I would have been okay if I never read the letter but just the same happy to read her assessment and fully agree with her assessment. Reading “This client is an attractive, bright 57-year old transsexual woman” made me smile. Sometime ago we discussed continual appointments after surgery. She had mentioned that some never come back after they get their letter. My thought is that anyone who goes through a life-changing event no matter how mentally stable they are needs to keep an open mind and continue their visits with their therapist. I made an appointment for 6 weeks after surgery and if all goes fine I will still make follow up appointments say three months out then assess how I am doing plus her assessment. I have read posts on the web from people who are post-op that they become depressed, unhappy or uneasy. My thoughts at this time, not me but you never know. I hope that others who follow the same path I am will take this to heart that we need support and do not take it upon themselves to say “I will get through this by myself”.

I was on Facebook tonight where I mentioned taking my new laptop to California with me. I have about 146 friends where about 8 know what's going on. Well my brother's old girlfriend from back from a few years after graduating from High School back in Pennsylvania saw my post and said "we should hook up". So I wrote her a private message explaining what was going on, she still wants to meet Those were interesting times back then, she was dating my brother and I was dating her best friend. We spent many nights together with close smoking buddies at her house were her parents were fine with that. I would classify her as a hippy at heart and still that way from what I can tell, married with children living in San Francisco which as fate has it is where I will be for surgery. My 92 year old mother and her still exchange Christmas cards every year.

First off I started the other blog because I could not copy-n-paste into this site. Thought I could provide the link to WordPress but that failed too. Soooo long story short I returned the laptop and got my money back. In regards to leaving here, not way, not how sister :-) was not even a remote thought. Well it's back to the drawing board for ways to communicate here while in California. Psst: Windows does support copy and paste but for some odd reason does not for this site along, tried it on several others, they all worked just fine. Psssssst: Did I mention the mouse was locking up, that was the final straw.

I just started a new blog on word press but can not paste the site address in from my new Windows 8 laptop so I will need to figure out how too

For many years, I experimented with tucking my privates with many failures and success. Once I found a great gaff the company decided to change it and did not work for me anymore so I used the few I had until they fell apart and just as the last one was done for I found a replacement that I stumbled upon and have been using for the past 15 years. My requirements were simple using the following situation. Be able to go use the toilet, stand up and tuck in less than a minute and remained firmly in place so not be reveal privates even with leggings. The method was rather simple, purchase a normal gaff and boy shorts from Spanx. Tuck, pull up the gaff into position then pull up the boy shorts, done. Now the reason for writing about this is because I was looking for my car title which I need to update within 30 days of my name change and have not seen it since 2009 when I paid the car off. So while looking for the title I found a forgotten supply of old gaffs (God only knows why I kept them) in a footlocker on the bottom and low and behold the title was on the top woohoo. So I now have a trash can filled with gaffs ready to be toss soon as I am finished here. Any ways I am happy that in just under 6 weeks NO MORE tucking.

Thanks Emme, all I wanted for Christmas was both of these letters. Should have name change finished next week. My therapist said I should try the DMV before Social Security. DMV is 10 minutes from my work which is nice.

Received my second letter for surgery requirements and a letter to assist with changing my gender on my driver licence. The letter for my driver licence is critical in tangent with my legal name change documents so I can book flights to and from California so I can purchase tickets shortly that match my name change and soon to be new gender. After this I visited with a close friend who gave me an early Christmas present of 5 tube and two large bottles of KY Jelly for dilation after surgery. With these and the ones I already have I should be good for at least two months.

Have you looked into if there are any support groups in your area? For instance, in my area there are is a large group of trans* people who go out several times a week and on weekends ranging from comedy clubs, bowling to dinner and have been doing it for longer than I can remember. They also have a Yahoo group to notify members what is going on for the week and its constant activities. Heck many of the places they go they get special treatment because they are regulars and not because they are any different than anyone else.

I was never told how much K-Y Jelly was needed for after surgery but went out looking at 4oz bottles and noticed they were all over $5 each. Last night while at the grocery store shopping for food decided to see what K-Y Jelly cost there, just over $5 but one shelve down was a store brand which I trust for other medication was $2.10 per bottle. Yep, I grabbed all six bottles, which I get an email back from Marci’s office indicating 6 was plenty. I will be going back to the store today to see if they have restocked and purchase what they have if the price is the same. Why do this? Because after returning home I must dilate three times a day and plan on having enough for at least two weeks.

At my electrolysis appointment this morning (still have another this afternoon) we chatted about something which I think is worth passing on. Have my legs and under arms waxed so there are no worries about shaving (yeah it would bother me). She set me up for waxing two days before leaving for California for maximum results. Another thing is that I have used two different women for electrolysis and both use a standard padded board to lie on. This works fine for 98% of areas on the body but when it gets down to the area between the rectum and bottom of the scrotum no matter how wide the legs are spread it is prohibiting. So she took a end table that is level with the board and positioned it in a Y position so instead of hanging or hand off the board (which limits legs spread) she took a end table, placed a folded towel and then placed my legs in that Y position and it works great. Thinking of this process, I read stories that pretty much said pain level was between 7 to 10 between rectum and scrotum and I saw a documentary where one person who crying like a baby the entire time. My experience is at pain level 2-5 and zero tears. I believe the Lidocaine 2.5% and Prilocaine 2.5% cream prescribed by my doctor makes a huge difference in regards to pain

Seems like in the past two weeks a lot has been happening, genital area is fairly clear, booked hotel room, doctor's packet arrived. Last week I paid most of my surgery fee, the remaining amount is waiting for one office to receive my paper work for a $1,200 fee. Friday I am going to UPS for UPS luggage. I decided to send my stuff done to arrive a day before I arrive. Everything will be tossed when going back home. So the contents are disposable, it pays to save some out dated clothing. Next Monday I part one of my name change is done then two more weeks and it's official Two more weeks for a phone appointment with anesthesiologist I know I am missing something (oh that's right it must be from being mostly blonde now) A co-worker pressured me today to learn about my surgery, long story short, he confirms my thoughts that the majority of co-workers will be fine with it. Matter of fact most people are guessing what is going on with me and are guessing I am transitioning. Such a great feeling May do airfare on Friday.

My thing when younger was playing in a band along with recording original music in a home studio. I pretty much gave it up for a few decades but kept the guitars and about two years ago started back up again with a completely new studio trading in things like reel to reel for digital recorder. I use to tune by ear but thru the years I now use a snark tuner.

Yes it is a guitar tuner but as in note the woman has no clue about the real purpose of the app. I am a musician and have many tuners which all attach to the head stock of the guitar which works off vibrations. My guess is the woman found out via some other source.

I have thought for some time now that my female voice was decent and will take voice lessons in the spring. Well today I was surfing through some videos online for after GRS thoughts and decided to click on one that was about male to female voice exercises. The person said to get Pitch Lab and work on keeping your voice between B flat and C sharp. I looked at the app, it’s free so I downloaded it. Afterwards upon opening it up there are a ton on in-app purchases but no need, the part I needed is free. So I try it out, I pretty much nailed the acceptable range woohoo. Even though I nailed it I know there is still work to be done but happy to know I am on the right track. Back in 2008 when meeting with a doctor for hormones (did not start then until last November even though she approved me) she indicated that my voice did not need much work and should be easy to have a very good female voice with practice. I think the main obstacle is the need to change back and forth but not after my surgery. We all know you can look female but when our mouth opens and the female voice is not there all is lost. Don’t know about anyone else but IMHO you need to work on it. There are times I will warm up by saying meow, each time raising my voice to what I think is acceptable. I learned this from a u tube video.